Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(33)

“For the first few months, that’s all I did but then he started to ask me to infiltrate a gang or an MC to get information that’d be valuable to him or one of his clients. I didn’t mind doing it. It was a nice change for the most part, I didn’t have to kill anyone until he called me back to do his dirty work. Fast forward a couple of years, one of his clients needed intel that would only be available from cop files. I tried to hack into their system but I’m not a computer genius, so I had to find a way to become a cop.

“Every single thing that’s in my file is fake besides my name, never went to the academy, never passed any of those tests, nothing. I was good at conning my way into their system and creating myself a past as an agent. My track records were so good that they didn’t question it when I came in for the job. Their current sheriff was too old to do a proper job and keep this town safe. They needed young blood to bring back security and work alongside him. They saw someone with a badge and a good file and hired me on the spot. I’ve been working there for six years along with working for Sergei.

“They still don't suspect a thing. Well, except Lewis. She knows. She’s told me my secret was safe and hasn’t asked questions, but it’s weird knowing that she knows I’m not a cop. I’m surprised with the amount of hate I get at the station that no one has ever looked into me. Anyway, at first things were okay although I hated being a cop, wearing the uniform, running after the bad guys, covering tracks and getting rid of any evidence that incriminated Sergei or one of his men. But then it became useful, I could find information I needed to build a case against Sergei and hopefully one day, get out of the situation I was in. At that point I wanted out, but that soon changed.

“That’s when I met Jenny and my plan backfired on me. Sergei wanted to set up a brothel. He had planned to snatch girls and had asked me to do it for him. He handed me pictures of the girls and where I could find them at certain times. All of them were girls he had asked me to investigate the whereabouts of previously. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but in hindsight, I regret doing it. Jenny was one of them. All the others were crackheads or prostitutes so they wouldn’t be missed if they weren’t on the streets anymore. Jenny however was a normal girl who had a job, friends and parents, a life of her own. I never understood why he wanted her and I didn’t want an innocent girl to fall into that kind of trap, so I told him I had taken a liking to her and that I was seeing her. I’m pretty sure he knew I was lying but wanted to see how far I’d be willing to go.

“He did open up his brothel but without Jenny. All the girls loved it though, they were in a safe house, they were getting paid good money and could leave if they wanted. Only a couple left because they had fallen in love with one of their regular clients and they were replaced with more girls who came of their own free will. I hate knowing it’s there, but at least they are safe. My plan to save Jenny kinda backfired on me when she fell in love with me. We started to actually see each other and pretty soon, she told me she had fallen for me and wanted to be serious. I never told her about me working for the Russians, but she knew I was a ‘cop’. She said she was okay with it and with the weird schedule. I wasn’t around her much, but we were having fun. It was nice to have someone to go back to after a long f*cked up day, but it never fully satisfied me. What we had was good, but it wasn’t as good as what you and I have. Before you say anything I’m aware that makes me a f*cking * since I married her.

“Anyway, things started to go downhill at the station, people started to suspect I was up to something because I was either always bruised up or hurt or late. I told some of them that I took part in underground fighting. Some of them wanted to come see me and some of them never bought it but at least they were leaving me alone. It was f*cking insane and I was struggling to keep up with all the lies I was telling everybody.

“After a while, Jenny asked me to move in with her because we weren’t seeing each other enough and that she wanted to spend the little time we could have together in a place that we could make our own. I accepted and not long after that we got married. I felt obliged to propose as she was slowly starting to distance herself from the world. That’s when I met you. That night, you changed my life. I didn’t know what to do or think about my reaction to you and how I wanted to protect you from the consequences of what you did. I had to stay away from you, but I couldn’t. The more Jenny was shutting me and everybody else out, the more I needed to be with you. When she quit her job and stayed at home 24/7, I felt terrible, like I had pushed her away and that it was my fault. That’s why I stopped coming or calling you. I didn’t want to hurt Jenny, but I didn’t want to stop seeing you. The only happiness in my life was you, and still is.

“She was slowly becoming a shell of herself and I had no idea what to do. It got worse when Ant walked into my office that day and told me about what Ayd had found out about her Dad and you know the rest with Michael and all that shit. Jenny never suspected that I led a double life, no one did and now I’m living a triple one. I’m lying to everybody and it’s getting too hard to handle. I’m sorry I kept all of this hidden from you and lied to you all these years. I couldn’t bring myself to lose you if you knew the truth. I hope you can forgive me one day.” I finish on a whisper and take a long swig of whiskey.

Here goes nothing, she knows the entire truth. She knows how sick and twisted I really am and she’s never going to want me after this. She’ll never want to be with a man who is capable of doing such things. And even if she is, Gabe and Aleck, who am I kidding? The whole of the Last Hangman are going to f*cking kill me. That’s what I deserve, to be tortured and killed the way I did to others for years.