Toe the Line(70)

When the doctor took off his gloves, Archie said, “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” The doctor smiled. “You’re gonna want to have intercourse later today to get as many swimmers in there as possible.”

Um…

This doctor didn’t know our situation. He’d never met us before today. Archie and I just looked at each other. There were no words necessary.

After the appointment, we went back to his place to have coffee. Today was Archie’s day off from the restaurant, and he had an hour to kill before picking Clancy up from school.

I took a sip of the hazelnut blend he’d made for me. “If this round works, it’s going to be because of your super sperm. And to think at one point you were led to believe you’d be infertile.”

“I got really lucky. I know that.” Archie stirred his coffee. “As much as I love my daughter, I was so fucking scared before she was born.” He rolled his eyes. “Well, you remember my panic attack on Whaite’s Island.” He sighed. “This experience is a lot different. My head is on straight. I’m excited, not scared.”

“I never thought about how different this might be, compared to the first time for you.”

“Yeah. I mean, I was in shock most of Mariah’s pregnancy. I couldn’t really appreciate it. With this, I’m appreciating and enjoying every single moment, even if the desired result hasn’t happened for us yet.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Speaking of all of the moments in this process… What’s the room like? I never asked you.”

“The spunk room, you mean?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled.

“It’s plain. Less is more, I guess, under those circumstances—one vinyl chair, an old-ass TV-DVD player combo, and some magazines.”

“What did you choose?”

He looked away for a moment. “I don’t use anything.”

My eyes widened. “You didn’t need anything?”

“Nope.”

“Wow.” I leaned back and crossed my arms. “I can’t imagine that. I mean, it’s one thing if you’re home and relaxed in your shower or something. But when people are waiting? That would make me nervous and unable to perform.” I felt my face heat. “What do you…think about?” What the hell? Is this the hormones talking?

Archie’s face reddened, which was odd. He was normally up for any topic of conversation.

“Not sure you want to know,” he said.

“I can handle it.”

“I don’t know about that.”

I shook my head. “You know what… It’s none of my business. I—”

“I think about you.”

I froze. “About me?” I swallowed.

He ran his thumb along his mug. “Does that surprise you?”

“Yeah, actually, it does.”

“It shouldn’t,” he said, holding my eyes.

“I didn’t think you thought of me like that anymore.” My nipples hardened.

“You don’t think I’m attracted to you?”

My face felt flushed. “I don’t understand why you would choose to think about me, when you could think about…anyone.”

His brow lifted. “Is that a question?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I guess it is.”

He continued to look me in the eyes. “This process—as much as it might seem procedural in some ways—is very erotic to me. I can’t help thinking of you when I’m in there, knowing that what comes out of me is going to end up inside of you. That turns me on.”

My mouth fell open as I struggled to formulate a response. That was just about the hottest thing I’d ever heard. I felt it between my legs. I cleared my throat. “Wow. Okay.”

He took a sip of his coffee. “Now if you want to call the perv police, I’ll understand.”

“No.” I laughed. “I get it.” Because I’m turned on by the idea of having part of you inside me, too.

“Fantasizing about you isn’t new,” he added. “You’ve been forbidden to me for so long for one reason or another. I’ve thought about you a lot over the years.” He exhaled. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful. I know you have a boyfriend. I’m not telling you this to seduce you or anything, either. I just want you to know how beautiful you are, because sometimes I think you doubt that.”

I felt ready to collapse. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to be honest.” His mouth spread into a smile. “Are you sorry you asked?”

“No,” I answered. “I think it’s kind of sweet, in a weird way.”

“Just to clarify, there’s nothing particularly sweet about the thoughts I have in that moment.”

Heat raced through me again. “I figured.” I managed a laugh. “I feel connected to you, too, in this process.”

“It’s a little scary how connected I’ve been feeling lately,” he muttered.

“Scared?” I asked. “Are you having doubts about moving forward after this one?”

He shook his head. “No. Not at all. But the lines are blurring more than I thought they would. I’m more emotionally invested. You probably figured that out based on my reaction when Jason was here—how badly I freaked out.”