Toe the Line(67)

“It’s the least I could do.” I leaned my head into my hands. “Can I be honest, though?”

“Sure…”

“I feel like the result was somehow my fault.”

Noelle shook her head. “You heard what the doctor said. The best chance we had was twenty percent. That’s not very much. Besides, if either one of us failed, it was me, Archie.”

I looked up into her eyes. “Why do you say that?”

“Because your sperm was tested, and it came out perfectly viable. I’m the one with the issue.”

Inwardly, I cringed. It was dumb of me to blame myself because that only prompted her to do the same.

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. It’s going to happen. I mean, let’s face it, if it’d happened on the first shot, I would’ve been shocked.”

“I agree.” She nodded. “I was hopeful, but not optimistic.”

I had to get back to the kitchen, but when my shift finally ended about an hour later, I brought over two espressos and joined her again at the table. We sat talking until they had to lock the doors.

I drove her home, and we lingered in the car once I parked in the driveway.

“You know what I wish?” I said, looking at the house.

“What?”

“That my mother were here and could understand what we’re doing. I think it would make her so happy. She always loved you.”

Noelle reached for my hand and offered a sympathetic smile. “That would’ve been really cool.”

“I mean, I talk to her a lot. I’ve told her everything. Hopefully she can hear me, wherever she is.”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“I know we agreed not to tell anyone,” I said. “But have you considered telling your parents what’s going on?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure they would be receptive to any of this. I’ll only tell them after the fact, if it happens.”

“That surprises me. I always thought your parents were supportive no matter what.”

“They are in some ways, but they have very traditional values when it comes to this kind of thing. I didn’t want their take on the situation. I love them, but sometimes you have to block certain opinions out when something matters to you.”

“Pretty sure they’re gonna freak when they find out I’m the dad.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just imagine them being pissed at me or something.” I chuckled.

“They won’t be any more pissed at you than any other person I could’ve chosen. I think they’ll just wish I’d waited for the right man.”

That felt like a punch to the gut, even if it made sense. “Well, I certainly hope they’re not disappointed when they find out, because it is going to happen, Noelle. I promise it will.”

I instantly regretted making a promise I might not be able to keep, but part of my job was to remain optimistic for her.

Noelle’s phone buzzed, and she looked down.

“Is that Jason?”

“Yeah.” She declined the call. “I’ll call him back when I get inside.”

That was a rude awakening about the reality of this situation—she belonged to someone else. I’d been conveniently putting that out of my mind.

“I’d better go,” she said. “Thank you again for tonight.”

“Anytime.”

I wanted to hug her goodbye, but I refrained, instead keeping my hands firmly on the steering wheel. This day had been a lot. If I hugged her right now, I wouldn’t want to let go.

? ? ?

We were one week away from our next IUI appointment, and Noelle had been taking the usual preparatory hormones. It was a Saturday, and I wanted to check on her before I had to get to work. After spending the morning with Clancy, I decided to go by Mom’s old house on my way to the restaurant.

The first mistake I made was popping over unannounced. Always call first.

When she opened the door, there was a man standing in the living room behind her. He was talking to Roz. It had to be Jason.

Her fucking boyfriend is here? Adrenaline pumped through me.

Noelle looked briefly back at him. “Archie, I didn’t know you were stopping by.”

“What’s going on?” My eyes darted to the guy as I entered the house.

Noelle let out a shaky breath. “Jason surprised me with a visit.”

Before I had a chance to introduce myself, he walked over and held out his hand. “You must be Archie.”

“I am.”

We shook. It was as firm as a handshake could get. I had no idea what I was supposed to say to the guy. It was as if jealousy had shut down my voice box. Then when I did finally manage to speak, I got diarrhea of the mouth.

“Well, this is awkward,” I blurted.

Jason’s fake smile faded. “I suppose it is, a little. But it’s good to finally meet you.”

It was clear who the mature one in this situation was.

Roz was sitting on the couch, listening in. I needed to be careful since Noelle hadn’t told her about our baby-making plans—at least I didn’t think so. This must have been quite a show.

“I was just dropping by to see how the sink was working,” I told Noelle. “You mentioned the other day that it was clogging.”