Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(36)

I cracked my door open, stepped out, then held it for her. She crawled out on my side, grabbing my hand as she exited. Her hand was warm and soft, and the connection was instant. Even though we’d been touching like this all day long, I couldn’t get enough. It was such a small thing, really, but I was already addicted to it.





Chapter 8





Cuddling




I was worried when I woke up the next morning. Worried that Kiera would say we’d taken things too far at Bumbershoot. I wasn’t sure what to expect when she came down for coffee, but giving her a warm smile, I started pouring her a cup. I wanted to hug her, put an arm around her…something, but there really was no reason for me to touch her like that. There were no crowds to keep back in my kitchen.

Then she came up to me and rested her head on my shoulder while she let out a long yawn. The tension eased from me as I wrapped an arm around her. It was almost as if she was silently asking me to hold her. She wanted this too. That amazed me.

Her arms timidly came around my waist and she snuggled into me like she was cold. I ran my fingers up and down her bare arms, warming her, and her skin pebbled where I touched it. Her cheeks turned rosier the longer we stared at each other; the flushed look was very alluring. Mixed with her wild hair and slightly askew clothes, it looked like she’d just had sex. I tried to shift my focus, but before I could, a picture of Kiera clutching my back and moaning my name popped into my head. I shoved it aside as I reached over and grabbed the coffee mug I’d poured for her. Regardless of how nice it felt to touch her, it was not okay to go there.

A peaceful smile on my face, I held the mug out for her. “Coffee?” I asked, knowing she would eagerly want some.

Her eyes sparkled as she let me go to gingerly take the mug I was offering. I held in a sad sigh at the fact that she was no longer touching me. But, surprisingly enough, it didn’t end there. After showering and getting ready for the day, Kiera came down with a book and read beside me while I worked on lyrics. She rested her head against my shoulder as I scribbled down random thoughts. After a while, I put my free arm around her shoulders. All she did was let out a happy sigh and cuddle farther into my side. I could have died happy right then and there.

The cuddling continued throughout the week. We hugged in the morning, sometimes for as long as it took the pot to brew, and I would spend what felt like an eternity gently rocking her to the rhythm of the coffee percolating. Holding hands, we’d watch TV before her shift. Whenever we did, I had no recollection of anything we’d watched. Her fingers on my skin were my only concern. On the nights we had off together, I’d skip going out with the guys and we’d stay in, order a pizza, and watch a movie. I’d have my arm around Kiera while she sat with her legs stretched along the cushions. She’d rest her head on my shoulder and I’d close my eyes, content. As long as neither of us brought it up, we could pretend nothing was wrong with what we were doing.

While Kiera and I were pretty snuggly at home, we kept our distance at work. I didn’t want people to gossip about her, and I didn’t want Evan to question me about her. I didn’t want people to think about us one way or the other. Plus, our intimate moments of connection were private. Nobody needed to know about them but us. The only time I even touched her more than a casual acquaintance might was when Griffin started a dance fest in the bar and made a move on her. Then I intervened.

I did feel guilty whenever Denny called; he wouldn’t like what was going on behind his back. And listening to Kiera talk to him was a painful reminder that everything between Kiera and me was temporary. Things would change the minute Denny returned. She would cuddle with him, not me, and that was the way it should be. But still, every day there was a clock ticking in my brain, warning me that all of this was stopping soon, and I should end it now before I got too attached. Too late for that though; I was already addicted to being near her.

“I don’t feel like going home. Let’s go kick it at Kellan’s.”

Hearing my name, I lifted my head to stare at Griffin. He was smiling at me and nodding, like the suggestion he’d just made was the most profound statement ever spoken by a human being. We’d just played a gig downtown, and Evan and I were struggling to load Evan’s drum into Griffin’s van. We set it down with a grunt, and I tried my best to keep the irritation off my face. So far, Griffin’s contribution to “cleaning up” had consisted of playing air guitar and signing autographs. Unsolicited autographs.

“Why my place? We have to take this crap back to Evan’s, we could just hang there.”

Evan clapped my shoulder in answer. “Can’t. I’ve got a date, man.”

I blinked at him in surprise. “It’s two in the morning.”

He shrugged as he moved some cymbals into position. “Time waits for no one, Kell.”

I frowned as I considered how true that statement was. “Okay, well…Kiera will be asleep by the time we get back there, so you two will have to be quiet.” I pointed at Matt and Griffin. Matt shrugged; Griffin rubbed his palms together while a maniacal smile grew on his face. I shifted my attention to just him. “If you so much as open her door, I’ll kick your ass.”

Griffin frowned, then pouted. “Your sense of bandmateship is skewed. Aren’t we supposed to share everything?” He shrugged.