Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(151)

He glanced over at Kiera and I forced myself to not turn and look at her. I felt like he’d just stuck a sword in my gut, then twisted it in a circle about five times. He almost lost everything…Had he? Only time would tell.

Since Denny was still clueless, I left the goodbye song out of the lineup. That was a last resort song—the end of the road—and Kiera and I weren’t there yet. We still had time, although I was feeling that time slip between my fingers with every passing second. I cast Kiera longing glances all throughout my set. I couldn’t help myself. Denny didn’t notice though. He was too busy watching Kiera with concerned eyes, like he knew something was wrong, he just didn’t know what it was.

Denny stayed until Kiera’s shift was over. I debated heading home while they were still here. If I followed after them, I would have to endure watching them walk into their bedroom together, and that would tear me up. While I gathered myself to leave, Jenny approached me.

“Kellan…what are you doing?” she whispered. Her gaze flicked to Kiera, and I knew she wasn’t talking about this exact second.

I sighed. “I don’t know. And if I knew how to get out of this without hurting anyone, believe me, Jenny, I would.” I raised my arms. “I honestly don’t know what to do.”

She frowned at my answer. “Then why get involved in the first place? She was happy with him, you shouldn’t have—”

“I didn’t mean to,” I interrupted.

She gave me a stern expression. “Didn’t mean to? He’s one of your best friends, Kellan. That’s an automatic stop sign, regardless of the circumstances. I know you don’t usually care about stuff like that, but…you should have known better.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Denny and Kiera leaving the bar. So much for beating them home. Not having any excuse worth giving, I merely said, “I know. But I’m an *, and I did it anyway, so…now what do I do?”

Jenny shook her head. “Now you tell him.”

My gut clenched at the thought of confronting him. How could I hurt him like that? He’d never look at me the same. I’m here for you, Kellan. I’ll always be here for you.



I took my time going home. I drove five miles under the speed limit. I made wrong turns that took me all over town, all in the hopes that Denny and Kiera would be sound asleep when I stepped through my door. I gave new meaning to the word “avoidance.”

Everything was quiet when I eventually made it home. Tiptoeing upstairs, I got ready for bed. How could we keep doing this while we all lived together? Easy…we couldn’t. The friction, tension, and jealousy would tear us apart. It had already strained us. Lying under my covers, I stared at the ceiling and waited for sleep to come. It didn’t…but something else did.

My bedroom door creaked open. Sitting up on my elbows, I watched Kiera slip through the crack, then shut the door behind her. What the hell was she doing here? She was resplendent in her clingy tank top and loose pajama bottoms. She seemed to glow in the silver moonlight, and her eyes were bright, with no trace of sleep in them. She’d waited up for me. Why?

Before I could question her, she slipped into my bed, wrapped her legs around mine and her arms around my neck. Her sudden weight on top of me knocked me back down to the pillows. She was with me again. “Am I dreaming?” I whispered as her lips closed the distance to mine. If I am, please don’t let me wake up.

As our lips moved together, I ran my hands up her back, tangled my fingers in her hair. “I missed you,” I murmured, deepening our kiss.

“I missed you too…so much.”

Her words warmed and chilled me. It felt so right to be in her arms, and so wrong. Our breaths quickly became heavy with lust, love, and desire. I was hard, aching, and I wanted her so much I almost couldn’t take it. I needed more. Reading my thoughts, Kiera paused in kissing me and ripped off her tank top. A surge ran through my groin, and I struggled with controlling myself. Running my hand across her luscious breasts, I murmured, “What are you doing, Kiera?”

She pressed her chest to mine and kissed my neck in answer. Hating what I was about to say, I tried pouring reasoning-ice on the situation. “Kiera, Denny is right—”

It didn’t work. She cut me off with swift, heartfelt words that were stronger than all the logic in the world. “I love you, and I missed you. Make love to me.”

She pulled off the rest of her clothes. Yes…“Kiera…”

Her hands ran up and down my body, igniting me. She felt so good…Her fingers began pulling on my boxers, wanting the last barrier between us gone. Yes…

“I love you…Make love to me,” she whispered in my ear.

Wishing I could let go of the guilt, I glanced at my door, then back to her face. “Are you sur—”

“I’m sure,” she immediately answered, her lips attacking mine.

Against my will, Denny’s face entered my mind. I’m always here for you. Then I saw his expression shift into one of horror, disgust…betrayal. What have you done? I pulled away from Kiera’s intense kiss. “Wait…I can’t.” My breath was a fast pant, but it was my torn heart that was killing me. I couldn’t betray him when he was just a few yards away, not that the distance of my backstabbing really mattered.

Kiera, adorable as ever, took my objection literally. “Oh…well, I can…” She wrapped her hand around my cock, and I just about came at her touch. What the hell was fate trying to do to me?