Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(150)

After spending all day in bed with Kiera, it was difficult to leave her. Well, okay, it would have been difficult to leave her regardless, but our amazing afternoon together made it even harder. I wanted to freeze time so nothing between us would change. She had tears in her eyes when I said goodbye. I kissed her eyelids, assuring her that I’d see her at Pete’s. It was Friday after all, and I had a show to do. Life trudged on, whether we wanted it to or not.

When I got to Evan’s for rehearsal, everybody was already there. Matt looked over at me as I walked through the door. “Hey, Kell. Ready to rock?”

I nodded. We didn’t always practice on the nights we played at Pete’s, but I’d asked for a rehearsal tonight. “Let’s run through the new song again.”

Griffin slugged Evan in the shoulder. “This is ’cause of you, isn’t it? Some chick break your heart again?” He shook his head in disgust. “Freaking pansy. You won’t ever catch me mooning over some girl. Plenty of fish, bro. Plenty of fish.”

Evan gave him an amused smile, then raised an eyebrow at me. Like he’d predicted, the guys thought he was the reason behind the song. That worked for me.

While we played the song again, I thought about being wrapped in Kiera’s arms today. It was a perfect moment, and one I was afraid wouldn’t ever happen again. It was hard to imagine never again feeling that connection. It was also hard to imagine sharing her with Denny. The thought of her being intimate like that with him…it made me want to throw up. I pushed that dilemma from my mind. I didn’t want to deal with it yet.

After a quick rehearsal, we made our way to Pete’s. Denny’s Honda was in the parking lot. I was surprised to see it there, and I considered turning around and leaving. I couldn’t though; I had a job to do. Even though it was sooner than I would have liked, I knew I needed to eventually face him. We did live together, after all. I guess tonight was as good a night as any.

He greeted me at the door with a genuine smile; like Kiera, he hadn’t seen me much this week. “Hey, mate. You’ve been a ghost lately. Everything all right?”

I folded one arm around him in a brief hug. My chest was pounding with anxiety, my gut was churning with guilt, but I kept my expression warm and friendly. I could keep my feelings hidden when I needed to. “Yeah…just work stuff. It’s been a little crazy.” I have been such a bastard to you…

“Crazy is good,” Denny said as he started walking toward the band’s table. Heart in my throat, I followed him. “Anything in particular you’re working on?” he asked.

Loving your girlfriend.

I couldn’t tell if he was making small talk, or if he was curious for a different reason. Choosing to believe he was clueless about Kiera and me, I smiled and said, “Matt’s trying to get us lined up for a festival next year. And, on top of that, he wants to soundproof Evan’s loft so we can record a demo. It’s quite a process.”

Denny’s eyes widened, and I was a little proud of my misdirect. The best lies are based in truth. Then I remembered who I was lying to, and a knot of disgust roiled in my belly. I was such an *. “Yeah, I can imagine,” Denny said. “Sounds like you guys are on the right track. It won’t be long till you hit it big.”

I had to smirk at the notion of the D-Bags being “big” one day. Seemed like an amazing but improbable future to me, but it was just like Denny to believe we’d go far. He’d always supported and encouraged me. I wouldn’t even be in a band today if it weren’t for his interference, a fact that wasn’t lost on me. It amplified the sick feeling in my stomach.

A loud noise across the bar stole Denny’s attention, and I risked a peek at Kiera. She was staring my way, looking sad and full of longing, like she was forcing herself to stay put when all she really wanted to do was jump into my arms. I felt the same way. I’d been hoping for a little alone time at the bar with her, as much alone time as we got at Pete’s at any rate, but it was clear Denny wasn’t going anywhere. Kiera and I would both have to deal with this awkwardness.

When we were seated at the table, Denny gave me a calculating expression. It made my muscles tighten with tension. “What?” I asked, keeping my expression even.

“I know this isn’t any of my business, but…” He paused, and I could see the debate in his eyes. “Kiera’s sister…”

Sighing, I looked at the table. Oh good…he wants to talk about the fake story Kiera cooked up. That, I can handle. “Yeah…you know about that?”

Denny nodded. “Kiera told me that was why she hit you, which wasn’t cool on her part, but…neither was what you did, mate.” I looked up and made eye contact with him. I stayed silent, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. When he saw that I wasn’t going to be a dick, he added, “Kiera said you hurt Anna’s feelings when you never called her. If you didn’t want a relationship, you should have been honest with her from the beginning.”

I bit back a dark smile. Honest with her from the beginning? Yeah, that was a lesson I’d learned the hard way. Maintaining eye contact, I gave him a somber nod. He clapped my shoulder. “I don’t mean to scold you, it’s your life, but try to keep people’s feelings in mind, okay?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Trust me. I almost lost everything because I didn’t do that.”