The True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge (Gold Valley #14)(62)

“I’m sorry, Mallory. When you said all that I realized... You’re right. I haven’t been as close to you as maybe I like to think. Maybe I don’t have as much of a right to intrude in your life as I feel like I do.”

“I appreciate your involvement, actually. I moved closer to you so that we could have a closer relationship again. But you don’t need to lecture me.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I know that you were hurt. Really, really hurt by losing Mel. And I think part of me feels responsible for that. Because I loved her, you loved her. And sometimes I feel like I hurt all of you with that loss.”

“You know that’s not true.”

He nodded. “I do. I do know it’s not true. And thank God for Iris. Because not only has she shown me the truth of a whole lot of things, she’s helped me live. Really live.”

“That’s what I want.”

“You know, I want to tell you that you’re too good to be some guy’s Band-Aid. But you know... My wife is...”

“The best woman you know? It’s okay, you can say it.”

He chuckled. “She is. And she’s been more than a Band-Aid. She’s been a tourniquet. A lifeline. And I’m damn thankful for her. And I’m not really sure if I’m in any position to deny Colt that, if it’s what he wants. But the thing is... You do have to want it at some point.”

“I don’t know if he will, Griffin. I promise you I’m not banking on it. I’m not thinking about it.” But that was a little bit of a lie. She could acknowledge her vulnerability, but she didn’t need to share it. Vulnerability could be private. She was okay with that.

“Well, if he breaks your heart, I promise I’ll be here for you. And I’ll spare you the lecture.”

“Because you gave me the lecture in advance.”

Iris came back in then. “Did I miss it?”

“Were you trying to?” Mallory asked.

“Yes,” she said. “I was desperately trying to miss the awkward conversation. Thank you.”

“Why exactly? You’re the one who ratted me out.”

Iris looked genuinely aggrieved. “I had to tell him. He’s my husband. I can’t keep things from him.”

“I feel strongly that he didn’t want to know that,” Mallory said.

Griffin grunted.

“I’m sorry,” Iris said. “But if it’s any consolation, I am against the lecture. I think that you have to be able to make your own decisions. And I stand very firmly on that as someone who experienced a lot of familial concern over my connection with Griffin.”

“That’s different,” Griffin muttered.

“Was it?”

“What was their objection?” Mallory asked.

“Something about virgins and big bad wolves,” Iris said.

Mallory’s head snapped around and she looked at her brother. “Griffin,” she said, her tone shocked.

“What?”

“You really have no right lecturing me,” Mallory said.

“Defender of the innocent,” Iris said, rolling her eyes. “Except me.”

“What’s for dinner?” Mallory asked, desperate for a subject change.

“Meat pie,” Iris said. “I have a recipe from New Zealand.”

And then thankfully the conversation went away from Mallory’s love life and Lily and went to the bakery, and Mallory genuinely enjoyed herself. But she was never fully in the present, and she wasn’t actually sad about that. She was glad that she was excited to go home. And glad that she was excited to see Lily and Colt.

Colt.

Her heart fluttered a little bit.

She was having a great dinner with her brother, and soon she would go home to see two more people she cared very deeply about.

And she had to marvel about the fact that her life had shifted so deeply that now she had many wonderful things to care about. And it was different. It was different to care like this than it was to simply be in service of another person. Than it was to simply be in some kind of strange codependent relationship. This was a choice to care. And she could understand that Griffin was worried about her, but he didn’t need to be.

Even without any certainty, she was happier than she’d ever been.

COLT WONDERED IF she would come back to his house tonight. He was pacing the halls, wondering if she was going to come back tonight. He had thought about her all day. How much he wanted her. It was impossible not to. Last night had been... An explosion. Of anger. But of need too. He had suppressed everything that he felt for Mallory for so long that he had damn near exploded with it.

And he should regret it. But he didn’t.

And then she was back. The front door opened, and before he could even think about what he was going to do next, he grabbed her, pulled her against him. And he consumed her. This woman. This woman who had gotten underneath his skin, who had peeled back layers of his grief, and who made him... Who made him regret some things less. And he kissed her. Kissed her like he might die if he didn’t, because he didn’t know what else was rooting him to the earth. Maybe it was just her. Maybe she was what he had been waiting for all this time, and until her, everything felt difficult and wrong. And so did he. But in her arms, he felt like something else. And while it might not make any sense, he was more than willing to take that kind of crazy. He carried her right upstairs and took her into the bedroom that she was staying in, because Lily was asleep in the cradle by his bed. He laid her down on the mattress, and he let a tornado of desire consume them both. When it was over, he couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t want to. Because if he had no breath in his body, it was because she had taken it. And he would gladly surrender that to her. He would gladly surrender to her entirely.