The Stocking Was Hung(39)

I sigh as I watch Logan get down on one knee in front of Noel, taking a step back from the commotion until I’m a few feet behind Nicholas. I close my eyes when I see Dumb-shit hold up the giant diamond ring toward Noel that he’s still clutching in his hand.

“I know you just got spooked when I did this a few days ago, and that’s fine. I get it. But we can work this out, Noel,” he maintains.

“It was much more romantic when Sam did it,” Bev huffs, crossing her arms in from of her. “You really need to work on your delivery, because it sucks Dominic the Donkey balls.”

I take another step back from the group until my heels hit the stairs behind me, waiting for Noel to laugh in Logan’s face, grab the ring and chuck it across the room or tell him he’s an idiot and came all this way for nothing. Anything but the silence that’s happening with her right now.

“Please, sweetheart, just take the ring. I have a car waiting for us outside and we can be in St. Thomas with my family in just a few hours. Some sun and sand will do you some good and help you clear your head,” Logan tells her.

When everyone starts shouting again and I see Noel reach for the ring he holds out to her, I turn and head up the stairs quietly.

There’s no point in sticking around for the rest of this shit show. I wanted to know how Noel felt about me and now I have my answer. She feels nothing and it really was all an act. Now who’s the dumb shit?





Chapter 15




Noel


I’m pretty sure I’ve cried for so long and for so hard that my body is now dehydrated. I feel like a slug, curled up on my side under the Christmas tree in the living room, my arms and legs refusing to move to pick me up from the spot where I’ve been ever since Nicholas came downstairs and told me Sam was gone.

Gone, just like that. His bag packed and out the door without a word. Gone.

Why didn’t he fight for me? Why didn’t he punch Logan in the face when he insulted Aunt Bobbie and looked around my parent’s home like it was a hovel in the middle of the hood instead of a beautifully decorated, two story Colonial in a nice neighborhood?

Fuck, why didn’t I punch him in the face? He was my problem to deal with, not Sam’s. Of course he left when I stood there in the hallway like an * and didn’t say one word about how much I loved him and how I wanted nothing to do with the idiot on his knees for the second time in front of me. I never said one word to him about how I felt because I was too scared. Too much of a chicken-shit to verbalize these feelings that are so foreign to me I don’t know how to handle them. I should have told him last night, when he made love to me so sweetly and held me so tightly. I should have told him at dinner when he got down on his knee and I imagined it was a real proposal instead of an act. There are a thousand different times I should have told them, all of those times running through my mind so quickly it makes my head spin and a fresh round of tears fall down my cheeks as I curl up into a tighter ball under the tree.

“I have something that will cheer you up, Leon. I took a video of you giving it to Logan,” Nicholas says as he walks into the room and squats down behind me on the floor.

I roll over to face him and he turns his cell phone in my direction, hitting play on the video he pulled up.

I watch myself grab the huge, gaudy ring from Logan’s hand, oblivious to the fact that Sam had left the hallway and was probably upstairs, hastily throwing his things in his duffle bag.

I see the happy, triumphant look on Logan’s face as he stares up at me when I hold the ring in between the tips of my thumb and forefinger, out from my body like it’s a snake about to bit me. And even though I just want to continue crying like a baby here on the floor, I can’t help but laugh when I watch myself on video, chuck the ring at the door behind Logan so hard that it leaves an indent in the wood.

Nicholas and I laugh together listening to the clapping and cheering of our family on the video as I grab onto Logan’s arms, haul him up from his knees and scream at him like a crazy person.

“Are you f*cking insane with this shit right now? Didn’t the first time you asked and I ran out the front door screaming give you a clue? I don’t want to marry you, you dumb shit! I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth! You wear entirely too much hair product, you get manicures every Wednesday, and I have faked every single orgasm with you, limp dick!”

Nicholas pats me on my shoulder, his arm shaking with his laughter as he tries to hold his phone steady.

“Oh, dear, he has a limp dick? Sam doesn’t have a limp dick, does he, Bobbie?”

I laugh a little harder hearing my mom on video question my aunt.

“Oh no. His Indian name is Hunglikehorse.”

Nicholas groans listening to Aunt Bobbie answer our mother. “I know entirely too much about the penises of the men in your life, Leon.”

“Sam is twice the man that you are and I love him. I’m in love with him and you have a tiny penis! Get out of my parent’s house and go back to Seattle, tiny penis!”

The video ends with my father grabbing Logan by his collar, opening the front door and practically tossing him out in the snow. Thankfully I don’t have to watch myself turn around and see that Sam was nowhere to be found. Probably coming back down the stairs and sneaking out the back door before he could hear my declaration and me telling Logan off.