The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(24)

Sigh.
I’ve missed you too, Kaeleb.

Chapter Twelve

Session 1:
(Two Months ago, approximately 2.5 seconds after Kaeleb was forced out of Palmer’s office)
Palmer: So what happened out there?
Me: (Shivers and wraps blanket tighter, noting it still smells like Kaeleb) No idea.
Palmer: I think you do have an idea. What happened?
Me: I had an out of body experience. (Which regretfully, I did)
Palmer: Is this because Kaeleb referred to you as…Aubrey?
Me: (Grips blanket tighter) What? How did you know about that?
Palmer: (Emotionless) I know a lot about you. (Sighs) You see, your guardian Linda and I are friends, lifelong friends actually, and you taking this course was no accident. She contacted me once you received your acceptance letter, asking me to keep an eye on you. She filled me in on your history as well as your refusal to continue with therapy. She was worried about you making a successful transition, so I suggested the course as a means of monitoring you from afar while here at Titan.
Me: (Sneaky, Linda. Reeeeeal sneaky) My history? Am I your patient now? What are you anyway?
Palmer: Yes, I am a psychologist if that’s what you’re thinking. But no, you’re not my patient. I no longer practice formal therapy.
Me: So what the hell am I doing here?
Palmer: (Leans forward in chair, elbows on knees, fingers interlaced and hanging) Well, if I remember correctly, you passed out on the lawn during the Bubble Exercise. You were brought to my office as a means of recuperation. Mr. McMadden was adamant in his refusal to leave until you came to, so I allowed him to stay while I finished out the remainder of class. When class was over, I came back. You were awake, and now we’re here, discussing why you lost consciousness during this particular session of class. (Cocks head) How’s that?
Me: (Wow, Dr. Palmer is feisty) It’s nothing. I just didn’t eat all day and it was freezing out there. It was too much for my body to handle.
Palmer: Bull.
Me: Bull?
Palmer: Yes, bull. (Sighs) Listen, I can’t make you tell me anything you aren’t comfortable sharing. What I can do is tell you that I’m here, every day from twelve o’clock to three, and five o’clock to seven. If you would like someone to talk to, if you need someone to talk to, I am here and readily available. No patient bullshit, just here. To listen.
Me: (Nods blankly) Um, thanks. (Grabs backpack) But I wouldn’t plan on it. Things are going well and I’m doing fine.
Palmer: (Nods back) Well, if anything changes…
Me: It won’t. (Leaves and throws blanket onto the floor)
Session 2:
(The very next day, 12:00 on the dot)
Me: (Knocks)
Palmer: Hello…Aubrey. Come in.
Me: (Steps in and plops down on couch, grabbing my new favorite blanket and wrapping it around me) Um, so this is just like a venting thing. No prescriptions written, no notes or recordings, none of that jazz?
Palmer: (Takes seat across from me, strokes his stark white beard while eyeing my hold on the blanket.) Yes.
Me: (Breathes in deeply and also notes how much he looks like Santa Claus in his red sweater) Okay, um, well… it’s just…with Kaeleb knowing who I am, it’s becoming more difficult to block things out. Like, certain feelings and thoughts about my past.
Palmer: And who is Kaeleb to you exactly? Linda never mentioned him.
Me: She wouldn’t have. She only met him a few times when we were kids. She doesn’t even know he’s here. (Sighs) I guess I figured that you knew something though, since we were always assigned together. Either that or because of our last names.
Palmer: (Smiles and reclines in his chair) No. I assigned you together because you seemed to trust him more than the others in the class.
Me: Hmm…I guess that’s true. I knew Kaeleb before my parents died; before I went to live with Linda. We were best friends.
Palmer: Yes, he mentioned the same thing yesterday when I approached him.
Me: (Mouth wide open) Then why did you ask?
Palmer: I just wanted your perception on the relationship.
Me: (Narrow eyes) Anyway…when he used my name yesterday, I remembered something about my sister. And that memory haunted me all night last night and this morning. I used to be able to block out the pain, but I can’t seem to push it away this time. I just…well, I just wanted to tell someone about it.
Palmer: (Nods) Well, I told you I was available. I’m glad you decided to take me up on my offer.
Me: (Shrugs shoulders)
Palmer: And what about Kaeleb? Do you also trust him enough to discuss your past? To let him into that part of your life?
Me: Yes, he was there. It’s not like he doesn’t know what happened…to them.
Palmer: Well, it seems to me that Kaeleb has triggered something within you that refuses to let the past escape you any longer. Perhaps it’s time to allow yourself to experience the pain of your family’s deaths and come to terms with them. Perhaps you need to let go of Raven, and reacquaint yourself with Aubrey. With who you really are.
Me: No, I can’t. That’s not a possibility.
Palmer: Why is that? What’s wrong with Aubrey?
Me: Aubrey is dead.
Palmer: (Nods) I see. And Raven?
Me: (Twists fringe on the blanket around finger) Raven saved me. Saved many people actually. (Looks Palmer directly in the eyes) Aubrey caused death. Raven prevents it.
Palmer: How so?
Me: As long as I’m Raven, I’m labeled a freak. People typically won’t get within a five foot radius of me. I have no relationships, therefore, I can’t cause any more death.
Palmer: (Inhales and exhales) What about Kaeleb?
Me: I tried to keep him away. (Chin quivers) And Quinn too. My roommate.