The Boatman's Wife(57)

Lily wasn’t imagining it – there was a distinct chill between the two brothers.

After Sean had left, Lily made to leave. ‘I think I should be going, too,’ she said. ‘I’ve had way too much to drink.’

‘Ah sure, let’s have one for the road,’ Daniel persuaded her.

Was it the last drink which tipped her over the edge? One minute, Lily was about to go, and the next, when she looked at her phone, an hour had passed. There were two missed calls: one from her mom and the other from her dad. Damn, she’d meant to ring her mom back earlier – but she couldn’t very well do it now, drunk. As for her dad, she still didn’t want to talk to him.

‘What brings you to Mullaghmore at the shittiest time of year?’ Daniel asked her.

Lily considered lying, but she’d come all this way to find Connor’s family, and Daniel might have known him. They were around the same age. The fact that Noreen had told her it would do her no good to find out the truth made her feel even more determined to do just that.

‘I’m looking for my husband’s family,’ she said.

‘Oh.’ Daniel, though very drunk, looked a bit taken back. ‘Sorry, I’d assumed you weren’t married.’

She raised her hand, showed him her ring.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘Well now, sorry for shamelessly flirting with you all night. But where’s your husband?’

Lily leant forward, teetering on the high stool. Every time she told someone Connor was dead, it felt like it was less real. ‘He died. That’s why I’m here, because I need to find his grandmother and tell her what’s happened to her grandson.’ Her words were all slurred together.

‘Oh fuck, sorry,’ Daniel said, looking very uncomfortable.

‘Would you have heard of Connor Fitzgerald?’ Lily asked.

There it was again, the same flinch she’d seen in Noreen earlier: the flicker of recognition in the eyes, and then shut down.

‘Nope, can’t say I have,’ said Daniel, draining his pint. ‘Are you sure he’s from these parts?’

‘Yes,’ Lily said. ‘Yes, I’m sure. What about his grandmother? Rosemary Kelly?’

‘No, nope,’ Daniel said, slipping off his stool, his gaze suddenly shifty. ‘Don’t know her. Look, Lily, they’re closing up the bar. We’d best be going.’

‘Ah God, already?’ she said, slumping her elbows on the bar.

‘Well, come on, so.’ Daniel tugged at her gently. ‘I feel responsible for getting you hammered. I’d best walk you back to your B&B before I call upon the services of Jimmy.’



It had stopped raining and the moon lit a path as they made their way down the road and past the harbour. The ocean was silvery with moonlight.

‘See how beautiful the ocean can be,’ Lily said ‘And then, bam – all of sudden, she’s a bitch. Swallows you up. That’s what happened to Connor, you know? He was drowned and they never found his body.’

‘Sorry, that’s rough, Lily,’ Daniel said, taking her arm as she swayed.

‘Connor told me nothing about his family in Ireland. Like, zero.’

‘Maybe there’s a good reason for that,’ Daniel suggested.

Lily stopped walking, stared up at the stars. She had never felt so desolate. ‘I miss him so much,’ she said. ‘Real bad. I don’t know how to live without him.’ The stars were shifting above her head. All the Guinness and vodka she’d drunk was making her feel as if she had become detached from herself. She tottered forward, slamming into Daniel, who took her by the shoulders to straighten her up.

Before she knew it, she and Daniel were kissing. She wasn’t sure whether he had made the first move, or she had. For a moment, she tried to lose herself in the arms of another man. He’d slipped his hand inside her coat, placing it on her left breast, as if feeling her heart, and it was turning her on. Part of her wanted to let her body go, so her mind could be lost, too – but then she felt his other hand move to her waist, and all of a sudden it felt so wrong. She pushed him away.

‘No, no. What am I doing?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Daniel said, stepping back so his face was in darkness. ‘I shouldn’t have taken advantage. It’s just… You’re very beautiful.’

‘No, no,’ Lily said, hiccupping, waving her hands at him to get him away.

‘I’m really sorry to tell you this. But oh God, Lily, you should leave Mullaghmore. My brother Sean’s not someone to be messed with.’

‘What do you mean? Why would I be messing with Sean? What’s he got to do with this?’ Lily pushed through the fog of her inebriation to take in what Daniel was saying. ‘You’ve got to tell me… Did you know Connor?’

But Daniel just shook his head at her.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said again, before turning around and walking away.

Lily was frozen in shock. Knew she should run after him, demand he explain what he meant – but all she could think about was the fact she’d kissed another man. Besides, she could hardly walk, let alone run after Daniel.

As she stood there, a car came flying towards her, its headlights blinding her. She jumped out of its way just in time. Had the driver seen her? The car went tearing on down the road; she couldn’t even make out what kind it was. Feeling a little uneasy on the dark road all alone now, she staggered as fast as she could back up the steep hill to the B&B.