The Boatman's Wife(52)

Ever since Niamh had learned to drive, five years ago now, she had taken over the post round for her mam on her bad days. It was simpler to deal with it quietly like this, and all the local postmistresses were sympathetic, and didn’t let on to management. Nobody cared, as long as people got their post.

It was tiring for Niamh now, though, because she had to be up at five in the morning for the round, but most nights only got in from the bar around midnight at the earliest. She was only up for a lock-in at Murphy’s on Friday or Saturday nights, when there were no postal deliveries the next day.

When the day of her father’s anniversary dawned this year, unsurprisingly, her mam remained hidden under the covers. Ten years, and still Niamh was waiting for him to walk back in through the door with his fishing rod and tackle.

She brought a cup of tea in to her mam, but there was no convincing her to get up, so Niamh pulled on her mam’s An Post shirt over her own jeans.

‘Mam, I’m going to do your round,’ she told her.

No answer. Niamh felt a little prick of fury. Part of her wanted to jump on the bed and yank the covers off her mam. She was being so selfish. But then, she knew it wasn’t her fault. Her mam couldn’t help her low moods.

Niamh was in bad form, feeling irritated and lonely. As she got into the An Post van, Pixie jumped onto the passenger seat. Against all regulations, Niamh pulled the door shut, letting the dog lick her hands as she turned on the ignition. She needed unconditional love today, even if it was from the dog.

The past nine days had been so bad. Mullaghmore was such a small community, Niamh had been certain she and Jesse would bump into each other, although the way things had been left she didn’t know what she would say if they did. But the situation had never occurred. He was clearly avoiding her.

Each night at work, she’d hoped Jesse would come in to see her, but every time Joseph O’Reilly had arrived for his evening pint, he was alone. Last night, she hadn’t been able to resist asking him about Jesse.

‘Oh the lad’s still working on that boat, Grainne,’ Joseph said. ‘He’s obsessed with her.’

‘In the dark?’ Niamh asked.

‘Well, he works until the light’s totally gone, and then he goes to bed, so he can get up first thing in the morning,’ Joseph told her. ‘The boy puts me to shame, he’s such a hard worker.’

Niamh turned the van around before driving out of the yard and on to the lane, yawning. Pixie gave a short sharp bark, making Niamh brake in surprise. Sitting on the drystone wall opposite her house was Jesse. As soon as he caught sight of her in the van, he got up and walked over. The sight of his tall, lean body, dark hair and beautiful face almost took her breath away. She wound down the window as the engine ticked over, her heart racing a little with anticipation. The scent of the new day rushed in the open window at her, the soft, lush damp of the late summer morning surrounding Jesse as he bent down.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘How you doing?’

She didn’t know what to say back, completely thrown by his unexpected presence. Why was he sitting outside their house at five in the morning?

‘I wanted to check you’re okay,’ he said, chewing his lip and frowning. ‘Today,’ he added, looking into her eyes.

‘You remembered?’ she asked, slowly realising why Jesse had made this visit today of all days.

‘Sure I did.’

Niamh was blown away. She’d only mentioned the date of her father’s death once to Jesse, as far as she remembered.

‘So, are you okay?’ he asked again.

‘Yeah,’ she said, blushing. ‘Just, Mam isn’t so good.’

‘I heard,’ he said.

They looked at each other. It hit her. Beneath all his aloofness, he did care about her.

‘You want a lift to work?’ she asked, feeling shy all of a sudden, not wanting to reveal her surge of feelings. ‘You’ll have to share the seat with Pixie.’

‘Sure, no problem,’ Jesse said, hopping into the passenger side of the van. Pixie wriggled in excitement before settling on Jesse’s lap.

‘I can’t believe you remembered,’ Niamh said again as they took off down the bumpy lane.

‘I’ve always been good with dates,’ Jesse said. ‘It’s my thing. Besides, I knew how important it was.’

She glanced over at him. He was looking down at Pixie, stroking her head and ears, much to the dog’s delight. Niamh felt a sharp ache inside her belly. She wished his hands were touching her.

They drove in silence for a few minutes, before Jesse spoke up again.

‘I’ve missed you,’ he said, and now she felt his eyes on her as she drove. She didn’t dare take her attention from the road, though she was longing to gaze into his eyes so badly.

‘Me too,’ she said in a small voice, as she swerved around a wild rabbit.

‘I mean, what happened?’ he said. ‘We were having a lot of fun.’

‘We were,’ Niamh agreed. But she wished he’d said something more. Like he missed her because he loved her.

It didn’t take long before she was pulling in by the boatyard. He couldn’t just get out now and walk away. Surely something else had to be said? As if reading her mind, Jesse leant over and tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear. She turned to face him.