The Boatman's Wife(59)

‘Not at all,’ Jesse said, beaming.

‘Look,’ Niamh said, standing in front of him. ‘I know you’re heading off in two days, but let’s just make the most of it.’

‘Sure.’ Jesse stood up, holding out his hand to her.

It felt so good to be in his arms again. She inhaled his scent deeply, taking in his presence, letting her skin awaken with his touch.



They drove to Mayo, even further south and away from home. Through the Iron Mountains and along the ragged coast, until they were out on a spit of land. The rain had stopped, and late afternoon sun burst through the clouds. Niamh parked the car and they looked down at the changing colours of the sea. The clouds’ reflections moved across the surface of the water, and Niamh imagined they were whales or fantastical sea creatures emerging from the depths beneath.

They got out of the car. Ran down to the beach together, then walked its length holding hands, letting the wind sweep past them.

Later, down the dead end of a tiny boreen, hidden from view by overgrown hedgerows, they made love in Niamh’s car. The two of them entwined under a tweed blanket on the back seat, Jesse cradling her head, looking at her with adoration. Niamh tried to imprint the memory in her mind. What was it her mam sometimes said to her? Everything passes. Joy. Grief. But her mam had held on tight to her grief all these years – why couldn’t Niamh possess this joy for a little bit longer?

As the light faded and they pulled their jeans back on, Niamh couldn’t help feeling a little cheated. It just wasn’t fair that he was leaving. But there was no point blaming Jesse.

‘You got anything to eat?’ Jesse asked her as he buttoned up his shirt, his dark hair tousled.

She clambered into the front of the car and opened up the glove compartment. Finding a KitKat, she broke it in half. ‘Here you go, dinner for two,’ she said, trying to sound cheerful.

Jesse joined her in the front of the car and they munched on their chocolate.

‘Say, why don’t you come out to Cape Cod?’ Jesse said as he polished off his last bite of KitKat.

‘I can’t afford the flight on my wages.’

‘I’ve some money, I can buy your flights,’ Jesse suggested. ‘You’ll get work in a bar easy back home. They love the Irish accent.’

Niamh turned to him in astonishment. This was the last thing she had expected Jesse to say. ‘I thought this was supposed to be casual?’ she said, spreading her hands to indicate the two of them. ‘You made that clear the other day.’

Jesse looked at her from under his dark lashes, and his expression made her stomach clench with desire. ‘I know.’ He paused and chewed his lip. ‘But I sure have missed you these the past few days. And, well, I guess I do love you, too.’

She was so shocked, she just stared at him open-mouthed.

‘I’m sorry if I hurt you,’ he said, picking up her hand. ‘But come to America with me, Niamh.’

‘What, now?’ She looked at him, incredulous.

‘Yes, why not? We can go to the travel agency in Sligo tomorrow. Get your tickets and then take the train together up to Dublin. My flight is the following evening.’

‘A friend’s sister lives in Dublin, we can stay the night with her,’ Niamh found herself saying.

Jesse grabbed both her hands, looking excited. ‘So you’ll come?’

Niamh was dizzy with confusion. ‘Don’t I need a visa?’

‘We can get you a holiday one at the American Embassy in Dublin,’ Jesse said. ‘I rang them up.’

‘You did?’ Niamh whispered in awe. ‘But my job?’

‘Come on, Niamh,’ Jesse cajoled her. ‘You can do better than Murphy’s.’

She wanted to say yes so badly, but ever present in her mind lurked the thought of Brendan and Tadhg. They had family in America. Could she really get away from it all? Would Tadhg send people after her? Surely not – she wasn’t important enough, was she? Of course they’d let her go.

‘So, is it a yes?’ Jesse was saying, squeezing her hands, looking so much younger than his age. Like a kid excited for Christmas.

‘What about my mam?’ Niamh said, feeling the weight of her mother’s moods pressing down on her.

‘She won’t hold you back, surely?’ Jesse said. ‘Your mom is cool.’

‘She needs me.’ Niamh struggled, too loyal to tell Jesse about her mam’s terrible depressions. How would she cope without her daughter? And yet Jesse was right. She knew her mam would be the first to tell her to go. Live her life. Get away from the past, from Ireland. Had she even suspected this might happen? Was that why she’d sent Niamh off to see Jesse today?

‘Niamh,’ Jesse said, pressing her hand to his lips. ‘You need to get out of here.’

She looked into his eyes, and knew he was right.





Chapter Seventeen





Mullaghmore, 16th November 2017





It felt as if she’d never had such a bad hangover in her entire life. Halfway through the night, Lily stumbled across her bedroom and into the bathroom to throw up. Feeling a little better for this, she drank glass after glass of water from the bathroom tap and brushed her teeth, only to throw up again. The vomiting continued for an hour or more, until eventually, spent, she curled up in bed and fell unconscious.