The Best Goodbye (Rosemary Beach, #13)(38)

Once, I had been what he wanted. The fact I’d only been with him had made us closer. He’d been proud of it and made me feel special. Our eyes would lock across a crowded hallway at school, and we’d connect without words. It had bonded us in a way that ruined me for anyone else. I hadn’t wanted that kind of connection with someone else.

That had changed for him, though. He wanted other things now, and he didn’t want to teach me. Fine. Whatever. I didn’t need him, either. The only thing I hated was that his actions were tarnishing the memory of what we once had. I’d held the memory of one particular night close, and it had kept me warm when I was lonely. Now it was not enough. Or maybe I simply wasn’t enough.


Ten years ago

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. Could others see that I was different? I felt different, and I could see the difference.

River had held me for hours last night after we’d had sex. Then he’d cleaned me up and taken care of my sheets early this morning, before pulling me back into his arms for a kiss and going back to his room.

I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep after he’d left. All I could do was smile as I stared at the ceiling, remembering every moment. It had hurt, but the way he had held me and whispered in my ear about how much he loved me had helped ease the throbbing until he could move again.

His face when he’d stilled and stared down at me, his jaw going slack and his eyes glazing over, had been beautiful. I wanted to see that again. Seeing the condom as he’d pulled it off, streaked with my blood, had startled me, but he’d taken his T-shirt and cleaned between my legs, telling me it was normal the first time. I trusted him. I didn’t feel that saying I loved him was enough now. It was so much more than that. He was what completed me. He made my life full.

Now River came up behind me, slipped his arms around my waist, and looked at our reflection in the mirror. I watched him as he turned his head to kiss my temple before looking back at me. Our eyes said more than we ever could.

His tanned arms were turning into the muscular arms of a man, and I loved having them around me. I also loved the way they’d flexed as he’d held himself over me last night. For a moment, I’d been lost in the way the muscles moved with each rock of his hips. Another thing about him that was beautiful.

“How do you feel?” he asked me, watching me closely.

The smile on my face should have told him all he needed to know. “Perfect.”

He swallowed hard and put his palm flat against my stomach and pulled me tighter against his chest. “Me, too.”





Captain


Her car was in the driveway when I pulled up to Addy’s house. When I’d gotten to the office and found out she’d called in sick, I had turned and walked right back out. She wasn’t sick. At least, I hoped she wasn’t. I was more than positive she’d called in sick to stay away from me. Which I deserved, dammit. Last night had gone wrong. I wanted to get close to her and have a relationship with my daughter.

I wanted Addy. There, I said it. I f*cking wanted Addy. The idea of her with anyone else drove me mad. But how could I have her? The man I was now could never be someone she would love.

I parked my truck and headed for her door, not sure what I intended to say, but I had to say something. This thing between us had to be fixed for Franny’s sake—and my sanity. Sleeping last night had been impossible. The look on Addy’s face before she had turned and walked out of my office had taunted me. How could I protect her from me? I’d protected her from everyone else, but I’d never had to protect her from me.

The small porch of the guest house they rented was clean, with potted flowers giving the place a homey feel. Even the steps were swept clean. Addy gave our daughter so much. I’d never be able to give her what Addy could. But I wanted to give her everything in my power.

Before I hit the top step, the door swung open, and Addy stood there, glaring at me. That should have been the first thing I worried about: what I was going to say to fix this. But that wasn’t what caught my attention.

She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her much larger breasts were crammed into a top that wasn’t quite big enough to contain them. God help me, I wanted her naked.

“Why are you here?” she snapped.

I had to shake my head and force my eyes off her tits to regain focus. Looking up at her angry face helped. I didn’t want her angry at me. I had to find a way to make up for last night and the shitty way I’d handled things. But she needed a bra. A potato sack would be even better. “I came to talk,” I said.

“Talk,” she said, not moving from the door, a look of steel on her face. That only made her hotter. A mad Addy was not a scary one.

“Can I come in?”

“No,” she snapped.

I was going to have to do better than this. “Addy, I’m sorry. I was an * last night, and I would like to talk about what happened. Please.”

That softened her up a bit. I could see the anger she was using like a shield slip some. She bit down on her bottom lip and took a step back. That was a good sign. “OK. Fine.”

When she turned to walk back inside, I took the moment to enjoy the view of her ass. It was a jerk move, but her body was so filled out now, and I hadn’t seen it naked looking like this. The body I had once claimed as mine no longer looked the same, and I wanted to see more of it.