Surprise Delivery(63)

“Sorry, but I think I should probably head home, actually,” I say.

The flirty smile on her lips grows. “Oh, a gentleman, huh?”

I shrug. “Not really.”

“Well, I guess you’re playing hard to get then, huh?”

I laugh softly. “Not exactly.”

It’s not playing hard to get. It’s simply not being all that interested, and not wanting to take advantage of a situation just because I want to get off. Not to mention the fact that even though I went out with Vanessa to help me get my mind off her, Alexis’ face continued to float through my mind endlessly. It was like having my own personal highlight reel of something I desperately want but am never going to have.

“Then what it is, Duncan?” she asks, an expression of hurt on her face.

I give her a wry smile. “It’s late,” I reply. “And I’ve got an early rotation tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep.”

Vanessa seems slightly relieved by my explanation, though not entirely satisfied. Oh well, not my problem. I tried and already know it’s not going to work out. It’d be pretty shitty of me to screw her and then refuse to see her again.

“Well, when can we get together again?” she asks.

“Not sure at the moment,” I answer. “But, let me give you a call.”

“Sure,” she says, smart enough to understand where this is going.

“Goodnight, Vanessa.”

“Goodnight,” she says, a small trace of hope on her face. “And I do hope to hear from you soon.”

I turn and walk back the way we came. Pulling out my phone, I text my driver to let him know I’m on my way and to meet me in front of the restaurant. I tried. I really tried. I kept an open mind and went out with her. Vanessa is great on a lot of levels. We just don’t quite fit together in any meaningful way. More than that, we don’t have that spark I shared with Alexis. That connection I feel when I’m around her is missing entirely. More than that, it’s something I want.

The bottom line is that for me, Alexis is the one. She’s the only woman who’s ever been able to light me up inside the way she does. Unfortunately, having her doesn’t appear to be in the cards for me. I know that no amount of self-pity, anger, or desire is going to get me what I want – which is Alexis. She already has a man and is raising a family with him. I’m the square peg in the round hole in that scenario and I don’t see that fact changing anytime soon.

Which is what’s making a return trip to Syria all the more attractive to me.





Twenty





Alexis





“So, here are the names of the lawyers I’ve gotten,” Bri says.

Though I’m nursing Aurora, I manage to take the piece of paper she’s handing me. I look over the half dozen names and phone numbers written out on it in her neat hand. I look back up at her, a confused expression on my face, not understanding why she’s handing me this. I hadn’t asked her to get me the names of lawyers or anything like that.

“I know you’re afraid of Duncan taking Aurora away from you when you tell him,” she says. “So, I took the liberty of getting some recommendations for lawyers who specialize in this kind of stuff.”

“Oh,” I say. “Thanks, Bri.”

She drops down onto the loveseat and folds her legs up under her. There’s a look of concern on her face as she watches me feeding the baby.

“What is it?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I’m just worried.”

“I can tell that much,” I tell her.

Sabrina can’t even seem to muster up a smile as she lets her gaze fall to her hands, which are resting in her lap. I can tell she’s struggling with whatever it is on her mind – which tells me it’s not going to be good or something I want to hear. It also tells me that I have some small idea of what it is going through her head, though I’m hoping I’m wrong.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to do when your maternity leave is up?” she asks.

I hate being right all the time. “I’m hoping to get back to work,” I sigh, letting out a long breath. “I mean, if they don’t screw me out of my job.”

She looks back up. “I think it’s safe to assume they’re going to screw you over, Lexi,” she says. “They’ve been screwing you over since the day you started. I just don’t see that changing anytime soon. And the other thing you need to consider is that if – and it’s a big if at this point – you are able to go back to the firm, you’ve got to figure out who’s going to be looking after Aurora while you’re at work. Child care isn’t cheap, hon.”

“Yeah, probably,” I say softly.

“Which means, you need a plan, hon.”

I look into the face of my little angel. My sweet girl. While I was pregnant, I never expected that I’d be so instantly attached to Aurora. But from the moment I saw her and was able to hold her in my arms, to feel her tiny, delicate body pressed to mine, I’ve felt nothing but the purest love a person can feel. I want nothing but the best for my baby, and I never want her to struggle like I have. Nor do I want her to ever have to endure what I’ve had to endure.

Just a few weeks old and I’m already planning out her schooling and path forward in life. She’s going to have a career she loves and she’s going to make enough to ensure that she’ll never go without. Enough, hopefully, to cater to her every whim and desire. More than anything, I want my baby to want for nothing. My only regret is that I can’t be the one to give her the life I want for her.