Stepbrother Dearest(36)

Most of the people who showed up to the wake were either Randy’s work friends from the car dealership or neighbors. The line curled around the corner, and it was a little unsettling to see people having easy conversations, sometimes laughing as they waited to visit the coffin. It was like a cocktail party without the alcohol, and it was pissing me off.

I stood next to my mother who’d broken down completely after seeing her husband’s lifeless body for the first time since the heart attack. I rubbed her back and replaced her tissues and did whatever I could to help her hold it together long enough to make it through until the end.

Chelsea had convinced Elec to stand in the family lineup despite his initial resistance. I think he was just too worn out to fight it.

The makeup caked onto Randy’s face made it look stiff and almost unrecognizable. It was devastating to see him lying there and brought back flashbacks of when my father died.

Elec wouldn’t go up to the casket or even look at it for that matter. He just stood there, stoic and robotically shaking hands while Chelsea responded on his behalf as people repeated the same phrase.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Elec looked like he was about to break, and I felt like I was the only one who knew it.

I had to go to the bathroom at one point, so I let my mother know I’d be right back. I hadn’t been able to find it and eventually made my way downstairs to an empty seating area. It smelled a little musty, but it was a relief to escape the noise of the crowd.

Upon entering the quiet of the lower level, I finally saw the sign for the bathroom at the other end of the room.

When I came out, the hairs on my body stiffened at the sight of Elec alone on one of the couches. He leaned into his knees with both of his palms plastered to each side of his head. When he lowered his hands, he was still looking down. His ears were red, and his back was rising and falling from the heaviness of his breathing.

This was a private moment, and I was inadvertently intruding on it.

Perhaps it was the breakdown I’d seen coming earlier by the look on his face upstairs. Nevertheless, I didn’t want him to see me. The problem was I had to pass him in order to get to the stairs.

Despite his upsetting me earlier, the need to comfort him was overwhelming, but I knew after what he’d said to me, that it wasn’t my place.

So, I walked slowly past him.

When I got to the hallway where the stairs were located, the sound of his voice startled me. “Wait.”

I stopped in my tracks and turned around. “I need to get back upstairs to Mom.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

I brushed the white lint off the black material of my dress and walked toward him, taking a seat next to him on the couch. The warmth of his body with his leg pressed against mine was not lost on me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He looked at me and shook his head no.

Squelching the urge to hug him, I placed my hands firmly on my lap.

It’s not your place.

Then, every part of me felt it when he put his hand on my knee. That one touch undid any progress I’d made in the hours since our altercation in the garden.

“What I said to you earlier…I’m sorry,” he said.

“Which part?”

“All of it. I don’t know how to handle this…Randy…you…none of it. It all seems surreal. On the plane here, I prayed that by some miracle you wouldn’t show up.”

“Why?”

“Because this situation is hard enough.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I certainly didn’t expect it to be this hard, to feel like this after seven years, Elec.”

“Like what?”

“Like no time’s passed. For me, it’s because I’ve held onto it all. In my mind, I’ve never let you go, and it’s affected my relationships and my life. It was manageable before, though...before this. Anyway, I really shouldn’t be getting into it. It doesn’t matter anymore. You love Chelsea.”


“I do,” he said abruptly.

Hearing him confirm it so vehemently had caused my eyes to unexpectedly well up. “She’s a good person. But seeing you with someone else after the way we left things is still really hard for me. Seeing you in pain is even harder.”

I had completely thrown up my words and said exactly what was on my mind because once again, I wasn’t sure if it would be the last time we’d be alone together. It was important that he knew how I felt. I shook my head repeatedly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.”

The people upstairs sounded like they were a million miles away. You could have heard a pin drop where we were all alone.

I was looking down when his hand startled me as it landed on my cheek. He slowly slid it down and wrapped it around my neck.

“Greta…” he breathed out with a level of emotion I’d only seen from him one other time before—seven years ago.

I closed my eyes and realized that for a moment we were back in that place. I was with the old Elec—my Elec. This was something I never thought I’d get to feel again. He kept his hand on my throat and lightly squeezed it. It was innocent, but there was a fine line being drawn with every second that passed. His thumb brushed back and forth over my neck slowly. The feel of his rough, calloused fingers warmed my entire body. I didn’t understand what was happening, and I wasn’t sure if he did, either. I prayed that no one came downstairs because the second he snapped out of it, my Elec would be gone.