Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(90)

Now, I'm sobbing quietly, unable to hold back the hurt and heartache that has been bubbling inside me, threatening to spill over.

Emery stands then pulls me into her arms, crouching down next to my chair. "Hey, we all make mistakes, Maddison. I hear you. I hear everything that you're saying, but you know what I see? I see how much you love him. If I can see it, then I know he can see it. Darling, you have to fight for him. You messed up, sure, but that doesn't mean that it's over for good.”

"Exactly," Holland adds, "when Reed and I went through a rough time… I fought for him. Because I let something insignificant almost tear us apart, and I would've been lost without him. You fight for him, Maddison, and you show him that your love for him is what matters, not the past, not the mistakes that were made."

I try and slow my blubbering, dabbing at my nose with the linen napkin from the table, but their advice seems to make me cry harder. "I'm so sorry, for all of it."

"Maddison, we told you, we're friends, and this is what we're here for. To pick you up when you're feeling low. Everyone makes mistakes," Holland says.

I nod.

What I want more than anything is to show Briggs that I love him, and even though I made a mistake by not being honest sooner, it wasn't because I wanted to be deceitful. I was just afraid to lose him, and it was the wrong way to show my love for him. It came from a place of love, genuine love that would do anything not to hurt the one you love and I let my own insecurities interfere.

The waiter chooses then to bring our mimosas over to the table, but when he sees me crying, and snotting everywhere, his eyes widen and he stops.

“Uh... .should… I come back or?” he asks nervously.

"Drop the mimosas, sir, and back away slowly," Emery says, making me laugh, even though tears are still fresh on my cheeks.

I take a sip of the orange juice and champagne mix before sitting back in the chair. "I haven't reported anything in a while for The Puck Bunny, the last time I sat down to try... I just couldn't. Not with knowing that it had hurt Briggs. I've been thinking about it a lot for the past few days, about what the future of The Puck Bunny is. You know the only reason I did it in the first place was because I love hockey, and I want to be a journalist, and the money was great. I needed the money to put myself through school, and when I found out I was pregnant, I needed it more than ever. But, I think I know what I want to do. I just think I need a little help."

A wide grin spreads on Hollands lips. "Are you telling us you need help to win your man back?"

I nod, biting my lip. "I think so. I don't know if it'll work, or if he'll forgive me, but I have to try. Like you said, I have to fight for him, for our family. I love him, and I want more than anything to fix this."

Emery smirks, a twinkle in her eyes as she leans forward, placing her chin in her hands anxiously. "Now, this is something I’m good at. Let’s do this."





Thirty Three





Sitting back against the couch, I exhale the breath I had been holding for what seems like the entire time I was reading the post. My eyes are already scanning the screen again to reread.

My name is Maddison Thorne, and I'm the voice behind The Puck Bunny. For the past three years, I've reported on all things hockey. Stats and Scandals.

I want to give you a little backstory and explain why, after all of this time, I'm no longer going to be anonymous. When I started The Puck Bunny, my entire goal was to report on hockey, and stay true to who I am. Honest, empathetic and kind. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that.

I reported on things that, while still involving hockey, inadvertently hurt people. And that's not the person I am. While I've only reported the truth and hard facts, I didn't realize that in doing so, I was hurting people. I recognize that while most news outlets are intrusive, all I did was make things more difficult for the people I was reporting on.

My headlines went from something I was proud of, to something I could no longer stand to look at.

I'd like to think that over time, I changed, and that's why I stopped reporting on the scandals, and focused more on stats, until I stopped all together.

This post is about responsibility. It’s about owning up to my mistakes and trying to make them right. It’s taking action instead of just writing about it, like I should have done a lot earlier, and honestly, this post is for you, the reader.

This is what you deserve.

I'm writing this post to let you know that from this point forward, I will only be reporting on the positive, encouraging, meaningful things that take place in the hockey community. Not only that, I'm working with a few people who I am so glad to call my friends, even after everything, to make the stigma around social media...different. Better.

From this moment on, I'm going to take responsibility for any hurt that I've caused, and I want to apologize.

I'm sorry. No one can change the past; we can only move forward from the things we’ve done wrong. Myself, along with several others, will be working within Chicago's sports community to spread positivity, and offer guidance to young players who are struggling. We want to support and encourage, that's our top priority.

I'm ending this message with a public apology to someone who deserves it most of all. Briggs Wilson.

Not only because I'm hopelessly in love with him and I need the world to know it, but because he is the one that my reporting hurt most of all. He’s the one who deserves this apology, and I want the whole world to hear it. To know how deeply sorry I am.