Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(89)

I grab my purse from the foyer table, and make sure to lock the door behind me, then walk to the elevator. Unease sits in my stomach as I ride it down, unsure of how today will go. I know that Holland and Emery are my friends... but they're also Briggs's friends. Reed’s wife and sister.

They have to know what is going on. Who I really am.

Now more than ever, I hate that The Puck Bunny turned into something that I'm not proud of. I used to be so proud, so over the moon that something I created was successful, and it was actually something people wanted. They subscribed and liked my blog just to read more. It felt like everything I had dreamed of since I was a little girl, holding my fake microphone in front of a room full of Brickside guests, reporting on fake news, was coming true. I never forgot that feeling, that rush I got standing there, and now all these years later, I felt like, finally, my dreams were unfolding before my eyes, until I realized the black hole that I was sucked into because of what I was doing.

I recognize now that even though I was reporting on what I thought was the truth, it hurt people. Intentionally or not, and now it's up to me to fix it. It’s up to me to apologize to every single one of the people that I hurt. I could spend all day crying about things and feeling sorry for myself, but in the end… this is my fault, and I’m the only one that can turn things around.

Even if it means that I lost Briggs, and I have no way of getting him back.

I push open the door to the exit and see Holland and Emery standing on the sidewalk.

"Hey babe!" Holland grins, pulling me in for a tight hug. "How are you holding up?"

She pulls back gazing at me with sympathy in her eyes.

I shrug, offering her a small smile. "I'm trying. You heard everything?"

Holland shrugs apologetically. "Have you met my husband? Plus, your baby daddy is sleeping in my guest room and he snores like a freight train.”

I turn to Emery who gently hugs me. "Hi love."

"Hi."

Holland loops her arm through mine. "Come on, let's go have brunch and a drink. I know you probably need it."

Together, we walk the short distance from Ty's apartment to the restaurant. A perk of living downtown.

We get to the small bar and grill and wait to be seated.

Once we're at the table, Holland orders us all mimosas and an appetizer before saying, "Lay it on us, babe. You need to get it off your chest."

Emery agrees, "Yeah, Mads, we're your friends, it's what we're here for."

Even though I trust them, and I want to open up, part of me is still afraid after everything, to be honest about who I am. To actually say it out loud and admit it to someone other than Tyler or Briggs.

I suck in a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I get too worked up. "Thank you, guys, for being here and for dragging me out of the house, I needed some fresh air."

Holland nods. "Always. Even if you don't want to talk about it, just know we're here and we support you, no matter what."

I can't help the tears that well in my eyes. I drop my head into my hands as I sigh. "God, I've just messed everything up," I say quietly, "And I don't know how to fix it. I don't know that I can fix it. I just know that I have to."

"I think that no matter what has happened, Briggs loves you. It's obvious that he's completely, without a doubt, in love with you, and love doesn't just stop, even when someone makes a mistake," Holland says. "Trust me, I know this from experience."

"I hid something from Briggs," I say, looking between the two of them, "I guess I just need to be honest, since not being honest from the start is what caused this in the first place. I run a sports blog, well, I guess not really anymore, called THE Puck Bunny. I'm not sure if you've heard of it..." I trail off.

Holland's eyes widen, and Emery's jaw actually drops.

“Holy shit, what!” Holland exclaims, “you’re the Puck Bunny!? Oh my god.”

"Oh my God, I love reading your posts! Girl, you're hilarious," Emery exclaims, "I mean, I know some of them were a little telling when it came to Briggs. Oh shit, wait, that's what happened, isn't it?"

I nod then turn to Holland. “Holland, I just want to say I’m sorry… if anything I reported on hurt you or Reed in anyway. I truly never meant to hurt anyone, and I take full responsibility.”

Holland nods, offering me a small smile. “Nothing to forgive, babe.”

"I didn't tell him at first, well, because I didn't really think that I should. I mean, we barely knew each other. We spent a whirlwind weekend together that ended up creating Olive, and then he was there for her birth, but... we decided to keep things strictly about co-parenting. I didn't think I should tell him, not when we this was so rocky, so new. But somewhere along the way, things changed. I fell for him before I even realized what was happening, and then I just felt like it was too late to tell him, or wondered when the right time was? When's the right time to do something, knowing that it will hurt the person that you love? And after he opened up about how much the media had hurt him, it made me sick to even think about telling him, opening up those old wounds and causing him more pain. But, I had decided to tell him." I pause, trying to catch my breath, the tears now falling freely down my cheeks. Holland reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it in hers to reassure me. "I kept telling myself that I was waiting for the right moment, but I just never found the right moment. God, Holland, I was so afraid of hurting him and so afraid that when I told him, he would leave me, that I kept putting it off. We were lying in bed, and I almost told him right then, but then he said we were going away for the weekend and I thought it would be the perfect time to tell him. Look how wrong I was. He found out and it blew up before I could even stop it."