Shameless(23)

He called you that night. He called. This is on you.

I lower my head again and clench my eyes. All that time I wasted being upset with him.

“He loved you, Brady,” she whispers. “He’d want you to make peace with this.”

I nod, not able to look up yet.

We sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with the sound of Izzy’s chatter in the background. Then I realize Kat’s rested her head on my shoulder. And for a quiet moment, we share the loss. Together.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in her spring scent of flowers and citrus. It makes my heart knock against my chest and wish for something simpler in my life. Something different than this endless treadmill I’ve been running. Is that what my brother found here? Is that why he left everything behind to be with Melissa?

With an easy squeeze on my arm, Katherine pulls away. “If it makes you feel any better, Cal once told me there were two things I needed to know about you. One, that he was better-looking, and two, that you were a stubborn son of a bitch.”

She giggles, and suddenly we’re both laughing. How am I laughing right now?

“Yeah, maybe I am stubborn,” I admit. I laugh again. “Fucker, he wasn’t better-looking.”

“And hey, don't worry. I won't tell the social worker about your porn addiction or your inclination to flash innocent bystanders.”

I snort. “Ha. Funny.”

She grins again and stands up. “Okay, big guy, I need to change the baby.” She nibbles on her lip a second. “I haven’t shown you all of the property yet. Wanna come along? Bella and I can give you the grand tour. It’s kinda nice outside today, and since this place is yours now, you probably need to get the big picture and see what you’re dealing with. Maybe take your mind off all this deep stuff for a little while.”

I heave a sigh of relief. “That would be great.”

Her lips lift a little higher, and I have to admit it feels pretty good to have that smile aimed at me. I start to wonder what a girl like her is doing on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

On her way out of the office, I call her name, and she stops in the doorway.

“Thanks again. For everything.”

She glances down and smiles shyly before walking out.

I can see why Cal and Melissa adored her. It’s a little hard not to.





15





Katherine





I thought it’d be good to get Brady out of the house for a little while, to distract him from the heavy conversations he had this morning, but based on his frown and the tightness of his shoulders, mentioning the farmers’ fair wasn’t the way to do it. And now that we’re touring the property, he looks even more tense.

He’s wearing a faded Red Sox baseball cap curved tight and pulled low over his handsome face while he scribbles in his notepad.

“Explain that again,” he mumbles.

“We prune in the spring and again in the fall. We grow English lavender, which is the type that most people think of, along with Provence and Grosso.”

“Three different kinds of the same flower.”

“They’re not all ‘the same flower’ exactly. One is good for cooking.” I point to the adjacent field. “The other is great for potpourri and other crafts.” I motion toward the rows behind us. “And the third—the plants just over that hill—is what we use for essential oil and hydrasol, or linen spray.”

“Potpourri?” he deadpans as he scribbles more notes.

I ignore the derision in his voice. He doesn’t get it. What do you expect? He’s a guy. Most guys don’t get it. That’s why Mel loved Cal so much. He understood. In fact, he encouraged her. He loved that she made lotions and bath salts and linen sprays.

It’s hard not to marvel at how different Brady is from his brother, and I wonder what it would’ve been like to hang out with both of them back when they weren’t at odds.

Hearing Brady ask about Cal, wondering if his brother ever talked about him, nearly broke my heart. Every part of me wishes I could go back in time and force the brothers to work things out.

Izzy tugs on my leg, and I reach down to pick her up. “You’re such a big girl.” I bounce her on my hip, and she giggles.

We trudge along for a while as I point out the different fields of lavender and the issues they’re having, like pH balance and drainage. Finally, Brady sighs and turns to me.

“What?”

“Give me the baby.”

I stare back. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I’m not going to let you lug her all over the farm. She weighs half as much as you do.”

I snort laugh. “Hmm. I doubt that.” Squinting in the bright sun, I tilt my head up at him. “I should’ve brought the baby carrier, but I got excited to show you the farm.”

“Baby carrier?”

“Yeah, it’s this fabric contraption I use to strap her to my chest.”

Those intense green eyes dip down my body, and I briefly wonder if he’s as attracted to me as I am to him, but just as quickly they dart away. He clears his throat. “Next time, let’s get the baby carrier, and I’ll use it.” He rubs his palm against his stubbled chin. “For now, though, let me do the heavy lifting.”