Second Chance(18)

“Let’s start with Led Zep then.”

“Oh, good choice. Any particular album?”

“Surprise me.”

Jack fiddled with his phone, and then set it aside as the familiar intro to “Black Dog” came pouring out of speakers set up on Jack’s shelves.

“That’s fancy,” Nate said. “Bluetooth?”

“Yep. Isn’t modern technology awesome?”

“I guess it is. But sometimes I miss the days of mix tapes. Remember the ones we used to make for each other?”

“Oh God, yes. It was our standard gift for every birthday and Christmas.” They grinned at each other. “Now I could make you a playlist on Spotify instead,” Jack said. “It’s not quite the same though.”

Nate took a sip of his tea, and they sat quietly for a moment, listening to the music.

“Did you have a good week?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, it was okay. I had quite a bit of work to get done but I managed to wrap up most of it. I got the last bit done this morning so I can take tomorrow off.”

“You work weekends?”

“I work whenever I have things that need doing. That’s self-employment for you. But at least it’s flexible. It was good when Cass was smaller so I could take on less work in the school holidays to spend more time with her. Now she’s busy with friends so it doesn’t matter so much, as long as I’m around to act as a taxi service she’s happy.” Nate grinned, to show he was joking—mostly. Cass might push back, but she still needed her dad sometimes.

“I still remember the relief when I passed my driving test,” Jack said. “No longer needing lifts or having to walk everywhere late at night. It was awesome.”

“Yeah, although the idea of Cass behind a wheel is pretty terrifying, so I’m quite happy being a taxi for a while yet. I just dropped her off at a party in Filton this evening.”

“Do you have to collect her later?”

“No. It’s a sleepover.”

“Are you okay with that? Don’t you worry when she’s out overnight?” Jack put down his mug and shuffled down till he was half-lying, hands behind his head.

“I think so. She tells me she’s taking better care of herself these days, and I try to trust her. But it’s hard sometimes, after what happened.”

“You never actually told me about it.” Jack nudged Nate’s knee with his foot. “You said things had been tough, but you didn’t go into details.”

The urge to confide in Jack was strong. Nate had always told Jack everything—well, almost everything.

“It feels a bit disloyal to Cass….”

“I won’t tell a soul.” Jack held his gaze, and Nate knew he could trust Jack with this, just as he’d trusted Jack with all his teenage secrets—apart from the biggest one of all.

Nate sighed, preparing himself for dredging up the unpleasant memories. “She took some tranquilisers after alcohol, and cut her wrists with broken glass. It involved a night in hospital and a lot of stitches.” Nate’s voice cracked as he remembered the sight of her in the brightly lit ward, her face almost as pale as the starched white sheets, wrists swathed in bandages. “She barely remembered it afterwards. Insisted she wasn’t trying to kill herself though, she was just hurt and angry. Her wanker of a boyfriend finished with her, and then proceeded to snog another girl right in front of her at a party. The last thing Cass remembers was taking a bottle up to the bathroom and locking herself in. She must have found the pills in the bathroom cabinet. They had to break down the door to get to her.”

“Fuck.” Jack’s face was horrified. “I’m so sorry. That must have been terrifying.”

“Yeah,” Nate said hoarsely. “Pretty much the worst night of my life.” He shook his head as though to clear it of the images that had flooded in while he talked. “But it’s in the past now. She’s doing great.”

“It must be hard letting her out of your sight after that.”

Nate gave a huff of hollow laughter. “Yep. It’s always at the back of my mind. But I can’t cage her up. At sixteen she needs her freedom—for the most part. She still gets grounded if she doesn’t stick to my rules, mind you.”

“Remember what you used to do when I was grounded?” Jack asked with a grin.

Grateful for the subject shift, Nate chuckled. “Yeah. I can’t believe we never got caught or that I never fell and broke my neck climbing up.” He stood and went to open Jack’s window, then leaned out into the night. “God, just looking at that now makes me feel quite ill. I was pretty nimble in those days.” Jack’s bedroom was over the porch, and Nate used to climb up a drainpipe and onto the curved porch roof so he could get in Jack’s window when Jack was stuck at home and bored. He’d hung out in Jack’s room to keep him company until it was time for his own curfew.

“The fearlessness of youth. We thought we were indestructible.” Jack’s voice came from beside Nate. “God, I’m dying for a fag. Do you mind if I smoke?”

“Course not.” Nate moved aside to let Jack take his place at the window.

“Do you want one?” Jack held out the packet.

Nate shook his head. “No, thanks.”