Ruin(48)

“Okay, I’m getting in.”
“Turning.” I heard water splashing as I walked over to the edge and dropped my towel. The moon outlined Wes’s body perfectly. His sculpted back was what every single love song was talking about — his body was what leading men fought for. Beautiful, the water lapped around his waist. I looked lower. Fantastic. Well, the water wouldn’t be leaving a ton of things to the imagination if I was standing directly under the moon. Just to be safe, I walked along the edge of the pool and got in where the moon had cast a shadow. I wasn’t taking any chances that Wes would see me, not that I was ashamed of my body or anything. But yeah, it was a little much, being naked in a pool with another person. It could have been Lisa, and I would have still been freaked.
The warm water felt good against my body. I was more nervous than before, everything seemed more alive, more sensitive. I slowly walked to where Wes was standing and hunched down so that the water was on my shoulders. Not only was I conquering my fear of being in the water again for the second time in one day, but I was wearing absolutely nothing.
“How’s the birthday suit feel?” he asked without looking at me.
“Weird.”
“You’ll get used to it.” He shrugged and turned. I held my breath.
“Why aren’t you breathing?”
I exhaled.
“You that scared still?” he asked, concern marring his features.
“Of the water?” I looked around. “A bit. Of you? A lot.”
“Want me to tell you embarrassing stories about myself so that there isn’t an ounce of attraction left between us? I mean, I’ll do it if I have to. I don’t want to but—”
Laughing, I waited.
“Fine. When I was ten I jumped off our roof and tried to fly. I landed in the pool, so it wasn’t that big of a deal and my dad saw the whole thing. My brother dared me to do it. He also dared me to eat a fly.”
“Did you?”
“What?”
“Eat a fly?”
“I ate two. He said the first one wasn’t big enough, so he picked out another.”
“Wow.” I gripped his hand in mine, still feeling a little nervous. “Sounds like you were picked on a bit for being the older brother.”
“A lot. I was picked on a lot, but I’d do it all again if—” His voice cracked. “If I could have one more chance to tell him I love him.”
I released his hand and pressed my fingers against his back, rubbing back and forth, trying to offer him comfort even though I didn’t have the right words to say.
“It’s why I wanted you to come… I mean, initially. You make me feel strong… Crazy, right? He killed himself on Black Friday — the day has double meaning for me. Sometimes I wonder if he did it on purpose. If he chose that day because it had the word black in it, or if he chose that day because it was my mom’s birthday, and she had already been dead in the ground for a few years. I’ll never know, I guess.”
“Wow,” I breathed. “Black Friday sucks for you.”
He laughed. “You could say that again. Granted, it’s not always on Black Friday, but the day he killed himself just happened to be that day, so regardless of if the actual date is off by a week or so — I still hate it.”
“Thank you, for trusting me with all of this.” I pulled him in for a hug without even thinking. Our bodies may as well have erupted with heat the minute they touched. We fit. Every single part fit. I looked into his eyes and knew, this was the guy — he was the one I wanted to spend my every waking moment with. He was my forever.
“Thank you for agreeing to come — and for being my girlfriend. I don’t feel like I deserve you — or that I deserve this.” Our fingers interlocked as he pulled me tighter against him. “Hell, I know I don’t deserve this.”
“Life isn’t about deserving.” I closed my eyes and sighed. “Aren’t you the one always spouting all that wisdom?”
He grinned.
“If we wait until we’re deserving, we’re going to be waiting for a really long time.” I shrugged. “I’d rather appreciate the fact that I’ll never deserve anything — doesn’t make me a bad person, just makes me all the more thankful.”
“Then that’s what I am,” Wes whispered. “I’m thankful for you. I thank God for you. Maybe He can see me after all.” He tilted his face toward the sky. “In this moment I can believe He cares.”
“Why?”
Wes looked down into my eyes. “Because He gave me you.”
Breath hitched in my chest as Wes’s lips grazed my cheek and then my chin, nose, eyes, and finally my lips. “Favorite Thanksgiving ever.”
I sighed against his mouth. “We’ll have to top it next year.”
His grip tightened on my arms as he pushed me against the side of the pool, “Promise me.”
“Promise you we’ll do better?”
“Promise me that no matter what, you’ll make Thanksgiving next year better than this year.” His eyes were fierce, glowing in the moonlight. I wasn’t sure what caused the sudden attitude change.
I nodded slowly. “Promise.”
His grip loosened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all crazy on you.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to dunk you.”
“Huh? You didn’t—”
I pushed his head underwater and tried my best to get back to the shallow end by grabbing the side of the pool. I still wasn’t a strong enough swimmer to make it on my own. So close, and then his hands came around my waist. His fingertips accidently grazed my breasts.