Ruin(43)

“Lots of parties, people leave suits. All of them are clean I promise.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “A suit would be good then.”
He was gone for maybe five minutes before he returned with a white bikini. Surely that wasn’t all they had left?
My eyes narrowed.
He grinned. “What are you waiting for? Take it.”
“Will it cover anything?”
“The important parts.” He held it out to me. “Come on, live a little.”
I snatched it from his grip. “If I die from hypothermia…”
“Not possible.” Wes shrugged. “Not unless you decide to take a midnight swim in the Sound, and I would advise against it, since that giant squid seems to think it’s a cool place to live.”
“Noted.” Did I mention I hated fish? Or the fact that the reason I didn’t ever go diving with my parents was because water terrified me? Maybe that’s why the nightmares were worse for me than someone else. I couldn’t imagine dying a watery death. I was terrified of it. Ever since I fell in the pool when I was three, I hadn’t been able to go near it without feeling weak in the knees.
Well, Wes would find out soon why this was on my list, so I might as well tell him before I jumped into the water and made a fool out of myself. I went into the bathroom and shakily took off my clothes, then donned the white bikini. Little triangles covered my boobs, just barely, and the bottoms were strings tied to little patches for the front and back. Holy crap I looked like a prostitute. I mean, the suit looked fine for a stripper.
I leaned against the porcelain sink and took a few deep breaths. I could do this. I would do this. I was halfway through my list.
“Get it together, Kiersten.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my red hair hung down to the middle of my back in thick waves. My green eyes stared back in a terrified fashion, as if my insides were begging me not to go through with it.
“I can do this,” I repeated, my fingers still clutching the sink. “I will do this.” With a final jerk, I pulled away from the counter and opened the door. I shook the entire way down the hall. By the time I reached the door to the back porch and pool, my hands were shaking so bad it looked like I was a druggie in need of a hit.
“You can do this,” I whispered again and opened the door.
Cold air hit me immediately. Whose brilliant idea was it again to go swimming in November? Oh right, mine. Teeth chattering, I walked over to the edge of the pool and nearly had a heart attack when Wes’s hand touched my shoulder.
“Ready?” he asked.
No. I swallowed and gave him one jerky nod.
With an understanding smile, he pulled me into his warm embrace. His body was searing against mine, the only thing dividing us was our suits and quite honestly it scared the heck out of me that I wanted nothing between us, that I wanted to be pressed against him and only him. I could almost forget about the pool, forget about the terror.
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered in my hair. “I’ve got you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise, I won’t let you fall, not on your own. I won’t let you drown. I won’t release your hand until you’re ready and even then I won’t turn my back on you until you’re safely back on the ground.”
“Okay.”
“Really?” He stepped back.
“Yes, just we need to be fast.”
“Ah, music to every man’s ears.” He laughed aloud and helped me step into the pool.



Chapter Thirty-Three

She has absolutely no idea what she does to me… She’s my medicine, my cure, my everything. If only hearts could heal that way —through someone else’s beating.

Weston
“There you go.” I helped her down the first stair into the giant pool. It was one of those infinity ones; at first glance it looked like the pool ran directly into the Sound instead of off a nice little cliff leading to the hot tub.
“It’s warm.” Kiersten splashed her feet a bit and looked up at me, the brightest, sexiest smile I’d ever seen on her lips. It was hopeful and completely trusting in me, and in us. I should have told her then. Told her that I wasn’t the hero she thought I was. Nah, I was keeping something epic from her, which sort of made me the villain in this tale. But damn, I wanted to be the hero. Gabe’s words haunted me.
“Don’t tell her.” His damn voice blared in my head, reminding me that I needed to let her make her own decisions, that when the ball did drop, I allowed it to stay in her court, not mine.
“Do yourself a favor. Let her be the one to make that choice in the end, not you.”
Kiersten wasn’t like other girls; she probably wouldn’t run away from me. No, she’d cling. She’d make me feel worse about my future, and in the end she’d hate me for taking away her choice. I didn’t—
“Wes?” Kiersten’s hand cupped my cheek. “Where’d you go?”
“Sorry. Thinking.” I offered her a grin and stepped down to the second stair. “Alright, keep going.”
Kiersten’s hand tensed in mine but she stepped down.
“See?” I splashed some of the water with my hand. “No big deal, super easy. The water’s nice.”
“Nice,” she repeated with her teeth chattering. “Right, it’s nice.” She took the final stair, bringing the water level to her waist. Damn, she looked good in that suit. So maybe some of my past was coming back to haunt me. I was acting like a selfish ass, but I’d been wondering for weeks what she’d look like in a bathing suit. I’d wanted to see every inch of that glowing skin. I’d wanted to watch the sunlight reflect off her hair.