Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(51)

“Is it good?” Laish continued with a slow up and down motion and then switched to circling my clit very gently with just one finger, still not touching it directly. “Does it feel right to you, Gwendolyn?”

“Yes,” I whispered, writhing under his hand. “Yes, so right.”

“Good—then I want you to try it yourself.”

To my intense disappointment, he pulled his hand away, leaving me writhing against nothing.

“Laish!” I protested. “Please, that was really good! I was starting to feel close—I mean, I think I was.”

It was hard to say exactly, since I’d never had an orgasm before. But while he was touching me so gently I’d felt almost like someone was winding a wire or a rubber band tight inside me somewhere. Something told me if only that wire would snap, it would release the building tension and take me with it. As before, I just wanted more.

“Try it yourself,” Laish said, ignoring the imploring looks I was giving him. “Come, mon ange—you can do it. Bring yourself pleasure.”

I wanted to but I wasn’t sure I could. In fact, years of sad experience had told me that I couldn’t. But I wanted to believe that it could be different tonight—that this was possible. Though it was embarrassing, I watched on the mirror as my own slim, brown fingers took the place of his long, tan ones.

For a moment I seemed to hear a little voice telling me how wrong and dirty and shameful what I was about to do was. Then I pushed it ruthlessly aside and began to slide my finger carefully around the swollen bud of my clit, just as Laish had done.

“Ohhhh,” I moaned softly as the pleasure began to build in me again. “Oh, Laish…”

“Do not call on me, mon ange,” he murmured in my ear. “You are bringing yourself this pleasure. You are spreading your soft, hot little * open and stroking your inner folds…petting your sweet little cunt and caressing your swollen clit. You are touching yourself.”

His hot words aroused me almost as much as my own fingers. Then he reached around me and cupped my bare breasts. Rolling my tight nipples between his fingers, he made me moan helplessly as I increased my tempo.

I slid my fingers around and around my clit, stroking only the sides, never touching it directly. But I didn’t need to—this was enough—was perfect. It felt so good I could barely breath…so different from every other time I’d ever tried before. I felt more relaxed for one thing—safe in Laish’s arms. Safe and cherished and free…free to let myself feel things I’d been repressing all my life.

“That’s right, Gwendolyn,” he growled softly in my ear and I knew my erotic display was turning him on as well. “That’s right—touch yourself. Stroke your sweet * and bring yourself pleasure…make yourself come.”

And for the first time, I really felt like I might. I could feel the pleasure building…feel the wire tightening inside me, ready to snap at any moment. Laish must have felt me tensing against him because he continued to speak in my ear as he rolled my nipples between his fingers.

“Look in the mirror, Gwendolyn,” he murmured. “Look how hot and open you are…see how wet your * is…how ready to come. Let the pleasure well up inside you as you let yourself go…you’ve earned it…you deserve it.”

I don’t know if it was his low, sexy voice in my ear, the sight of my own fingers busy between my thighs, or the hot way he was tugging and pinching my nipples but suddenly I couldn’t take any more.

For the first time ever, I felt the wire snap, felt the tension break and release, flooding me with pleasure, overwhelming me with sensation as I finally, finally came.

“Oh…Oh!” I gasped, my back arching helplessly and my toes curling as the pleasure shot through me. It was like being electrocuted but in a good way, if that makes any sense. I know it really doesn’t but it’s the only way I can think to describe it. My heart was thundering in my ears, my pulse was racing as though I had just run a marathon. I felt like I couldn’t get a deep enough breath and yet somehow I had never felt better or more alive in my entire life. It was intense.


And then, for some reason I was crying. Not actually sobbing or anything but my eyes were wet and the breath was hitching in my chest for a different reason.

“Oh,” I moaned, pulling my hand away from my inner thighs and wrapping my arms around myself. “Oh…Goddess.”

“There is no Goddess here, regrettably, mon ange. There is only you and me.”

Laish turned me gently towards him, letting me curl on my side against his chest. He didn’t ask why I was crying or seem upset about it. He just held me to him, stroking my trembling back gently until I somehow got control of myself and sat up.

“I’m sorry about that.” I swiped at my eyes. God, he must think I was so girly and stupid, crying like that just because I’d finally had an orgasm. “I don’t know why I, uh, lost control.”

“You lost control because you lost control. The sexual and emotional are closely linked, mon ange,” he murmured, stroking my wet cheek. “When a need so deep and primal has been building for so many years it is natural to break a little under the strain of it—even when the outcome is what you had hoped for.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “And was it? All you had hoped?”