Rodeo Christmas at Evergreen Ranch (Gold Valley #13)(46)

They rode back to the main house together, and she didn’t bother to greet her father and brothers as he went over to them. She just went straight into the house, straight for the kitchen. She was too irritated by the fact that they were having a man-only shooting party, and too irritated and thrown off-balance by the way she had been looking at Jake this morning.

“Hi, sweetheart,” her mom said, smiling.

And then she felt guilty, because her mom was so happy. So happy that Callie was with Jake, and so happy that she was here baking cookies. And Callie was lying.

“Hi.”

Her mom handed her an apron, and Callie put it on without complaint.

“Already have the sugar cookies ready to go. Some of them have already been baked and are ready to frost. And here we have the frosting colors.” She put them in front of Callie, her eyes shining. And Callie knew she was supposed to try and look excited.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Now,” she said. “I want to hear some details about this man of yours. And if you’re pregnant—”

“I’m not,” Callie said.

Her mom was still staring at her.

“I’m not.” Her voice went up half an octave that time.

“I just have a very hard time believing that he up and married you so quickly because he is that traditional.”

“He’s traditional,” Callie said.

“So you said. So he said. But it’s my experience that rodeo cowboys rarely are.”

“That’s a little bit too much information about you and Dad,” Callie said.

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind it. I just... It’s not my experience.”

“Family is important to him,” she said, seeing it as a good opportunity to push into the conversation about Jake’s family. “So I guess he’s traditional because of that.”

Her mom handed her a plate of sugar cookies and began uncovering frosting bowls. Callie started mindlessly slapping icing onto the precut cookies.

“He doesn’t want to call you Mom because his mom died,” Callie said. “Both his parents did. It’s painful for him.”

Her mom’s face contorted with sympathy.

“Oh, dear. I wish I would’ve known. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean... I can understand that. How he doesn’t want to feel like he’s replacing them.”

“Well, maybe you can tell Dad. Because the subject of his family is going to come up, and I hope he doesn’t get interrogated up there shooting today. But hopefully it’ll just all be too loud and filled with explosions for any talking to happen. It was a long time ago, but I know it still bothers him.”

“Well, we don’t want to hurt him by bringing up old pain. I know just how that is.”

There was such a depth of sorrow to her mom’s voice, and Callie felt immediately... Uncomfortable. Wounded. She didn’t like that the subject of her sister always made her feel this way. But it did.

“Callie Patrice. Please pay attention to the frosting. You’re the only one who does this with me. And you know how much I like the cookies. If you’re just going to slap it on like a coat of paint...”

“Sorry,” Callie said.

But she couldn’t get away from the feeling that her mom had suddenly gotten irritated with her because she had imagined the daughter who should be here in her place. And what might’ve been. Her mom had never said anything like that to her. Not outside of her sixteenth birthday, and events surrounding it. And Callie had been...

She knew she’d hurt her mom. She did.

But she’d been hurt, too.

It had happened once. Only once. But the wound it had left behind had been so deep that it had never fully healed. Not between either of them. She knew her mom felt bad about it. She knew her mom regretted saying it.

She also knew that her mom believed it to be true.

And there was no amount of “I’m sorry” that could make it different.

But Callie couldn’t be sorry for the way she’d been born. And she couldn’t feel the same grief for someone who had died years before the fact, either. And it was one of those islands that stood between her and her mother, and kept them from really understanding each other. Kept them from connecting.

“Anyway,” Callie said, clearing her throat. “He’s a good guy.”

“I’m so pleased for you,” her mom said, clearly taking the olive branch, and deciding to restart. “I hope that you start a family soon.”

Guilt tensed her stomach and she knew she couldn’t let that go. She couldn’t go pretending she was on the verge of giving her mother grandchildren.

“Well, I’m not finished with the rodeo. And Jake doesn’t expect me to be. He was my friend for a long time. He understands how much it matters to me.”

“Oh, honey,” her mom said. “But his expectations will change now that you’re his wife. If he’s traditional like you said, then he’s going to want you at home taking care of him. And you can be angry at me all you want for forcing you to learn to cook things, but I know that’s what he’s going to like. You’ll get to give him the kind of family life he didn’t have.”

“Oh, I... Mom...”

“You can’t honestly think that you’re going to keep riding when you have a husband at home. I know he’s not in the rodeo anymore.”