Rock All Night(76)

Derek rolled his eyes and hugged me close to him with one arm. “You’re not going to have a bad trip, Kaitlyn. Just roll with it, okay? Enjoy it.”

But now I was obsessing over having a bad trip. “What happens if I have a bad trip?”

“You won’t.”

“But what if I do?”

“You won’t.”

“But what if I – ”

“Oh my God,” he sighed in exasperation, “just stop, okay? It hasn’t even kicked in yet and you’re f*ckin’ freaking out.”

“Derek, why don’t you go take a break and hang out with Killian for a few minutes?” Ryan suggested.

Killian was already a good hundred feet up the road ahead of us. The metallic plinking of guitar strings drifted through the air.

Derek looked over at Ryan, annoyed. “Dude, I’m just trying to tell her not to freak out.”

“I know. But just take a break for a few minutes,” Ryan said soothingly. “Just a few minutes, that’s all.”

Derek glared at Ryan from the corners of his eyes. Then he looked down at me. “What do you want?”

I wanted to say, Don’t go, but the truth was, he was stressing me out. It was weird – I wanted him to make me feel better, but he wasn’t doing that. If I complained about it, I knew it would only make matters worse. And if he stayed, that would make it worse, too, because I was afraid to say anything else that might make him mad.

“You can go see Killian for a minute,” I said quietly.

He huffed as though offended, then took his arm away from me. “Fine. Call me if you need me.”

Then he sped up and headed for Killian.

Ryan looked down at me and smiled gently. “He’s not exactly the most comforting guy ever, is he?”

“He could take some lessons,” I muttered.

Ryan laughed. “Look, I just want you to know that you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m going to be here the entire time. If you need anything – anything at all – just come to me, okay?”

I nodded mutely as I watched Derek and Killian clowning around in the distance.

“But don’t worry, because you’re going to have a great time,” Ryan continued, though I was only half-listening to him. “The biggest thing you’ve got to worry about is pooping your pants.”


What I heard was blah blah blah great time blah blah POOPING YOUR PANTS.

“WHAT?!” I yelped. I wheeled around to face him. He had my full attention now.

“Yeah, you didn’t know that?” he asked, suddenly quite serious. “98% of all people who do shrooms poop their pants. Nobody ever told you that?”

“NO!” I screeched, horrified at what lay ahead for me. “Do Killian and Derek do that?!”

“Every time. They actually feel it enhances the experience.”

“WHAT?! OH MY GOD! Why didn’t anybody TELL me that?! There’s no f*cking way that I would have… ever…”

By this point the corners of Ryan’s mouth were beginning to tremble and turn up, even though he was trying so hard to keep a straight face.

“You LIAR!” I howled, and smacked him on the arm.

He burst out laughing. “You bought that one hook, line, and sinker.”

“You’re a jerk!”

“Who, me?” he asked. He was trying to be innocent, but it’s hard to act innocent while you’re choking back laughter.

“Just to be absolutely clear, I’m not in any danger of crapping my pants, right?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say no danger – ”

I hit him again, and he stumbled off to the side of the dirt road in fits and snorts of merriment. “You’re fine, you’re fine!”

“Asshole,” I said, though I said it good-naturedly.

He trailed off laughing and wiped a tear from his eye.

Suddenly I got it.

“You did that to make me stop worrying, didn’t you?”

He didn’t look at me, but instead gave a secret little smile. “Did it work?”

I looked up at him… then hip-checked him playfully.

“…yeah,” I admitted.

He grinned. “Good.”





63




“Hey, I want to ask you a question,” I said as we walked along.

“What?” Ryan asked.

“What’s Killian’s deal?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’s his deal’?”

“The only questions he wouldn’t answer in the car were about his love life.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, is he straight? Is he gay? What is he?”

“He told you about those two girls.”

“Yeah, but he might as well have said they were playing tiddlywinks. I know about Derek… and you told me about some of your adventures – ”

“Is that what they were?” he joked. “Not misadventures?”

“Call them what you like, but at least you had them. And I’ve seen Riley in action – which is something I wish I hadn’t seen. But the entire time I’ve been here, Killian hasn’t so much as made a pass at anybody. The most I’ve seen him do is share a joint.”