Protege(49)
She smiled and slowly lowered her face, as though attempting to hide the effect of his praise. It boded well for all that his words affected her. Verbal responsiveness was a valuable thing.
His finger tipped up her chin. “Don’t feel the need to hide your smile, Collette. I’ve paid you a compliment. The smile tells me you received it as intended. I say these things because I want you to feel as beautiful as you are and I want you to have the self-respect and grace to take my compliments at face value.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re welcome. Today we’re going to discuss abuse.”
Her expression fell.
“Have no fear, peach. I never have inflicted, nor would I ever inflict, abuse on another living creature.”
Her breasts shifted as she breathed out a shaky breath.
“First, we’ll discuss humiliation. One of your hard limits is that I may not place my hands around your throat during intimacy or outside it. I’m glad for this, as I’m not into breath play. If ever you’re in a situation where a hard limit is violated, I want you to get out as fast as you can and call for help. That is abuse.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I understand that some get a thrill from spanking and slapping. I love to see my palm print on a soft ass. However, my likes and dislikes come second to your needs and peeves. In your paperwork, you regarded any strike across the face as . . .”
“To me it’s abuse, but I know to others it’s a soft limit and sometimes craved.”
“You’re doing very well with the terminology, peach, and you’re correct. However, as your Dom, I’m only concerned with your limits. We can have our own preferences and still respect the vast differences of others. BDSM requires an open mind if anything. Tell me, if a lover were to slap you in the face, but every other touch of his body was appropriate by your standards, what would you feel?”
She noticeably swallowed. “Upset. Probably humiliated.”
He nodded. “Another limit of yours. I take it as my absolute responsibility to protect a sub. She honors me with her trust and submission, and I will never flaunt my authority in ways that demean or humiliate her. While these are fetishes for some, they’re debasement to me.”
He paused from pacing as he became aware of his past mistakes. “Collette . . .”
Her gaze lifted to his. “Yes, Sir?”
“The night we arrived and Lea found you in bed . . .” His carelessness, in hindsight, was a lot to swallow. “Were you humiliated? Be honest with me, please.”
She frowned. “I . . . I don’t know if I’d qualify it as the same humiliation I’d feel if a lover slapped me in the face. I was upset, but . . . I haven’t really dwelled on that night.”
Her honesty fascinated him. He found it difficult to question her sincerity. Softly, he asked, “Have you felt humiliated since then?”
She sighed. “Maybe the definitions are the same, but if anything, I’ve been embarrassed at times, having my limits pushed farther than they’ve ever been, but that isn’t always a bad thing. In my opinion, humiliation hurts and sometimes scars. It lingers. Embarrassment can be as simple as the anxious energy I feel when I walk into a room full of strangers.”
“Are you saying you qualify one as natural and the other as intentional?” Her interpretation of the different definition was what mattered, not what the dictionary said.
“Yes, I believe that’s what I’m trying to say.”
His mouth curved as he savored their honest exchange. It showed courage on her part and a bone-deep tendency to be honest with him—something he respected very much. And a true measure of how much she’d grown in a short time.
He ran a gentle hand over her jaw, cupping her face lightly. Softly, he whispered, “You are beautiful, Collette. A strong yet delicate creature deserving of care and affection. Never settle for less. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I apologize for overstepping before. It was an oversight I now recognize, and I’ll do my best not to repeat such carelessness. I had only wanted to make a point. It was never my intention to humiliate you.”
Her eyes, when they found his, held a strange expression. It was as though his accountability and honest apology surprised her. But why? He was as human as she, and no one in this game called life was infallible.
Disliking the vulnerable sense she evoked in him, he cleared his throat and blanked his expression. “Shoulders up.”
She quickly broke eye contact and corrected her positioning.
“Good girl.” He paced away in order to collect himself.
Once his composure slid back into place he continued. “Now, I want you to think about the role you desire. There are various degrees of D/s relationships, and the labels usually put things into perspective. I’m happy to explain any of the dynamics you don’t understand as well as offer you literature on the subject if you’d like to read into the meanings.”
“Perhaps just an overview, Sir?”
“I agree. There are many labels: Owner/slave, Master/pet, puppy, kitten, Daddy/baby, and so on. It is important to know how you see yourself in a future relationship so you aren’t placed in an unsuitable situation. While I prefer my sub to manage the household, as it actually provides her with an outlet for her own autonomy, I do not desire a slave. However, if you desire that role, I’ll accommodate you for the length of your training. Do you have any questions so far?”