Protege(44)
“Not yet. I want to see how you control your reflexes. I’m staying perfectly still, which allows you a great deal of control. However, anxiety will increase your likelihood of gagging.” He applied a touch more pressure. “Open your mouth wider, peach.”
Saliva built as her lips stretched and slid lower. She breathed hard as her eyes began to water.
“Is your * wet, Collette? Is this what you like? To be told to open your mouth for cock? Does it make you feel like a good girl to please a man by doing something so naughty?”
She moaned. He was right on all accounts.
“Come up, peach.”
Her head lifted and she licked her lips, her gaze lifting to him for direction. He grinned and brushed a finger along her jaw.
“That was beautiful. I want you to understand the dynamic of D/s, Collette. It is not the power that makes a Dom great, but his honor and integrity, his willingness to meet his sub’s needs and draw out the needs she doesn’t know she has. Same as it’s not a sub’s obedience that makes her valuable. It’s her devotion and trust. You just displayed beautiful trust—a testament to your belief that I will not cause you physical harm. I think you’re a natural submissive, peach.”
It was difficult to follow his point, now that she’d had his cock in her mouth. All she wanted was to finish him, snap a bit of his impeccable control, but also watch to see if—perhaps—he really was unbreakable. Still, his words, when they reached her, warmed her. She preened, liking that he saw her as a natural.
“Sit back for a moment, peach.”
She lowered herself to her heels as he spoke, his cock leaning heavily toward his right hip.
“Asserting control can stem from a narcissistic manifestation, but such a selfish motive would be wrong. Equally wrong would be the act of dominating another person solely for the hedonistic pleasure of it. Dominance and submission are multifaceted behaviors.
“Kneeling, for instance, as you are now, should be done not because I order it, but rather, because you honor me by doing so and trust that I hold the key to the desires begging to be unlocked inside you. Before we can share a physical exchange of power, there must be an emotional exchange. That doesn’t come with brutality or humiliation, despite what you may have read.”
She’d read a lot of literature, mostly on the Internet. While the physical aspect was intriguing and definitely held sexual appeal, it was the domestic aspects and emotional elements that drew her in and made her sigh with longing.
“Fernweh is not interested in what the pornography industry calls BDSM, nor do we treat romance novels as nonfiction. We’re interested in truth, human nature in its rawest form. No behavior or fantasy is judged, so long as it’s consensual and no one’s being placed in immediate danger, danger being defined by each individual’s carefully outlined limits. While we all have some degree of kink inside us, our purpose is larger. We want to unveil the fulfilling truth of our sexuality in an environment that’s accepting of diversity.”
And she desperately wanted to find a home among such acceptance. Though she didn’t know how to qualify her sexuality or her kinkiness, she knew this was where she belonged. “Yes, Sir. I want to find my true nature.”
“Good. Then let me make this clear. You will only kneel when you feel compelled to do so. While I recognize it as a sign of trust and honor, I don’t want it if the gesture isn’t genuine. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir. And I’m happy to kneel for you now.”
“Then I accept your gift, so long as we agree that submission isn’t ordered, but granted. In time you’ll understand the difference between punishable disobedience and an inclination to reserve your gifts until I’ve proven myself worthy to receive them.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He nodded and situated his erection back in his pants, shifting to tighten the button and lift the zipper. As he buckled his belt she frowned.
He stood and held out a hand. Slowly placing her palm in his, she rose. “You did very well, peach. I think you’re progressing nicely. You may do as you please for the next hour, but your body will remain unclothed so that I can admire your beauty as I choose.”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice was small as she turned and left the room.
He’d done it again, abruptly concluded their intimacy sooner than expected. Was there a purpose for that? Perhaps to leave her wanting and aroused? She wanted to believe so, but deep down she sensed it had little to do with her internal struggles and everything to do with his. Why, if he was the Dom, would he allow himself to suffer when she—a willing sub—was at his disposal? It didn’t make sense. There had to be a greater purpose she wasn’t seeing.
Over the next hour, she made his bed and her own, marinated the meat for dinner, and chopped vegetables for lunch. There was something liberating about being naked. The chateau was so large and private with tall ceilings and bare floors that echoed with each step, she learned not to skulk around like a lost mouse, but embrace the openness, savor the liberating sense of oneness. By the end of the hour she was greatly enjoying the caress of air over her naked hips and breasts, as well as the cool press of tile against the soles of her feet.
As she busied herself with light household chores, her mind returned to Jude. He was so much kinder than she’d expected. There was an unarguable air of pride to him, but not enough to consider arrogant. She recognized in Jude an awareness of self, an evident belief that he was worthy of others’ trust, and in turn his confidence provoked the trust of others.