Protege(51)

“Except the ones with children.” Getting back to the matter, he said, “So would you still consider the first night humiliating? Perspective’s a relative matter, and your point of view is undergoing an extreme evolution of sorts.”

“No, I’d consider it a lesson learned, Sir.”

“Very good, peach. And when I spanked you yesterday during sex?”

“I liked it.” She smirked but tried to hide her face from view.

He grinned. “There will be times you won’t.”

Her lips parted and she swallowed. “I hope that’s not true.”

He studied her. A good Dom trusted his instincts. Something about her, something he couldn’t put his finger on, told him she’d respond to spanking once her guards came down. Whether he’d enjoy divvying out such true punishments was a different question. He’d have the answer when they crossed that bridge—a bridge leading to her permanent placement. He could do anything once, so long as it was for the benefit of her experience.

Quietly, he shared a bit of his instinct. “Not only is it true, peach, if I’m gauging your level of submission correctly, I’m betting you’ll ask for a spanking before our time’s up, and not for the pleasure of it. There’s a liberation when taken in hand, and should you ask for such a thing and I find your behavior in need of correction, I’ll unquestioningly service you. I want you happy and whole, after all.”

She didn’t look like she agreed, though she didn’t come out and disagree, which he knew she was able to do if something didn’t sit right with her. He liked that she kept an open mind. Still, he needed to dispel any fear that she might be mistreated without explanation. The last thing he wanted was for her to fear him.

“Now, this is where people worry about blurring the line between BDSM and abuse. I could strike you after a spanking to show you the difference, but that would never happen. Ever. If I’m ever in a foul enough mood that my control’s threatened, I’ll ask you to leave me alone until otherwise directed. I’ll always ask this before reacting in a physical way, be it positive or negative. And should you require a physical reprimand, I’ll only deliver it when I feel I’m in complete control of myself and you’re aware of what’s happening and why. You never need to fear me, Collette.”

“Do you anticipate me disappointing you, Sir? If there’s something I’m not doing, please—”

“You please me very much, Collette. Patience is the first trait every submissive needs, and you have it in spades. Your fortitude has allowed you to accept my direction with little friction. Don’t take my meaning as a suggestion that you’ve disappointed me. If you had, you’d know it.”

“But do you anticipate it? Does the idea excite you?”

Her question surprised him and he had to consider his response carefully. “Honestly? Yes and no. Disappointment, I find, is a stronger emotion than any thrill. While I’d be lying if I claimed spanking a compliant female isn’t arousing, there are varying levels of discipline. Brattiness is easily navigated and often ends in my own personal gain—the price for such. Topping from the bottom is evidence of a poorly trained sub and a distracted Dom. However, a true punishment would be the result of a direct violation in terms of a relationship. Such a violation is disappointing and I dislike having to dish out such cold correction, as necessary as it may be, depending on my partner’s circumstances and needs. Suffice it to say, physical correction is not something I decide upon lightly.”

The tension in her face eased. “So it doesn’t excite you.”

“Not in that context, no.” She nodded her understanding and he held out a hand. “Come sit with me, Collette.”

Slowly she rose, her body unfolding in a grand display of femininity. Her hips flared as her breasts slightly jiggled, and, again, he was tempted to take her. He sat on the couch and pulled her to his lap. For several minutes he simply combed his fingers through her curls until she settled into a comfortable position.

“There’s a common misconception that every Dom is a sadist. That’s not at all true. While I yearn for a D/s dynamic, as do many others, only a few of us are true sadists. I don’t have a dungeon or a cage anywhere on my property. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy tying people up from time to time. We all have our personal kinks.”

He gently brushed her hair behind her shoulder. “However, as a Dom, I take my responsibility to protect my sub very seriously. The thought of someone in my care suffering unintentionally is abhorrent to me. Aside from abandonment, there’s nothing more crushing than inadvertently hurting the one I’m expected to cherish and protect. But I’m human.”

Something he had to remind himself of again and again. It wasn’t that he was so lost in a power play that he believed himself omnipotent. No, that ego bubble burst the moment his wife left him for someone else. However, it was human nature to make mistakes, and he needed to repeatedly tell himself his mistakes were worth forgiving in order to move on. Even Doms had limits. He was getting there.

The unfortunate thing about losing his wife was that he never learned how to stop caring about her well-being. It was hardwired into him the day he said his vows and promised to always love and protect her. The man she was with now was not someone he knew or felt comfortable with her knowing. Yes, like most Doms he was a bit of a control freak.