Present Perfect(40)

“I need to go,” I said. Noah took one step toward me. “Noah, don’t.” I turned on my heels and started walking as fast as I could out of the park.

“Where are you going?” he yelled.

“Home!”

“You’re not walking home by yourself at night!”

“Yes I am!” I just kept walking, never turning back to look at him.

He followed a few steps behind me, in silence, the entire way home. As the house got closer, my steps got faster, until I ran up the steps on to the porch. I took the key out of my pocket and slipped it into the lock. I could feel Noah’s eyes on me, as he remained at the bottom of the steps.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Aren’t you going say goodnight?”

I kept my eyes glued to the front door and choked out, “Goodnight, Noah.”

“Goodnight, Tweet.” I could hear the anguish in his voice.

I started to twist the key to unlock the door, when I saw Noah’s arms come up on either side of me, his palms flat against the doorframe. His lips were at my ear.

As I felt his warm breath across my neck, shivers ran to every part of my body. I wanted to lean my head back on his shoulder and have him hold me like that all night. His mouth was so close, that when he talked, his lips lightly brushed against the shell of my ear. He whispered, “Please, don’t be mad at me. I just want to protect you.”

“I’m not mad. I’m scared,” I said breathless.

“Of what?”

“That we’re not going to be able to go back to the way we were. You’ve been back in my life for an hour and it already feels like we’re crossing that line. I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I promised you I’d stay in the friend zone and I will. But the line has already been crossed, Tweet. I wish you’d step over it with me.”

I started to feel lightheaded and my knees were shaky. I inadvertently leaned back against his chest, trying to keep myself upright. He pushed off from the doorframe and wrapped his arms around my waist. Placing a soft kiss behind my ear, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed the top of my head, dropped his arms, and stepped back. I heard his footsteps as he walked away.

I stood on my front porch playing tonight over in my head- his arms around me, his whispers in my ear, the way his chest felt against my back. My head began to hurt thinking about our argument earlier. I had just spent four months without him in my life. I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize our friendship and risk losing him again, no matter how much I wanted him. Going out with Brad will be good for both Noah and I. How quickly life can change direction. Earlier today, I felt like I was finally taking steps to move on. Now I find myself right back at square one.





Friday afternoon had finally gotten here. The past few days had been weird to say the least. I hadn’t talked to Noah since the other night, but I saw him everywhere. When Brad and I would come out of our class together, Noah would be there. When Brad and I were at my locker, Noah would be there. When Brad and I were at lunch, Noah would be just a few tables away. He never stopped watching us. I wanted to ignore him and be angry, but I couldn’t. I liked him watching me. It made me feel safe and cared for.

I was about to get in my car to leave school that afternoon, when I heard yelling coming from the direction of the boy’s locker room. I wasn’t able to make out who the voices belonged to or what they were yelling. I knew the baseball team was training today. Brad had told me he had to be there right after school, so he wouldn’t be waiting at my locker for me. I started to ignore the yelling and get in my car. Then I heard someone yell, “STEWART, GET OFF OF HIM!”

I threw my backpack in the car and ran towards the locker room. Rounding the corner, I saw Noah pushing Brad up against the brick wall. His jaw was clenched, the veins in his neck were popping out, and the muscles in his arms were strained and bulging against his t-shirt, I thought the sleeves were going to shred. Two other players tried to pull him off Brad, but they weren’t strong enough.

Holding a fist full of Brad’s shirt, Noah jerked him forward off the wall, and then slammed Brad back hard. He got right in Brad’s face and spoke through gritted teeth, “You’re going to break the goddamn date and leave her alone.”

I couldn’t tell if Brad was scared, angry, or both. He wasn’t fighting back.

He looked Noah in the eye and in a strained voice said, “What Amanda does is none of your business, Stewart. She’s a big girl. She can go out with whoever she wants and she wants me.” He gave Noah a smug smile. The boy’s got balls, I’ll give him that.

Noah pushed Brad into the wall again and said, “She’s always my business, *. If you touch her, I will f*ck up that pretty face of yours.”

One of the other players, Spencer, said, “Stewart, come on. If Coach catches you, you’re off the team.”

Noah froze in position, sneering at Brad. After several more tense seconds, he released Brad from the death grip and backed away. He turned and saw me. My eyes connected with his. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I was speechless. He broke our connection, turned and disappeared into the locker room, without saying a word. The other guys eventually followed.

I walked over to Brad who was leaning on the wall, bent over, his hands resting on his knees. I placed my hand on his shoulder and asked, “Are you alright?” He glanced at me and nodded his head. “Brad, I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to him. I don’t know what got into him.”