Present Perfect(44)

Amanda Marie Kelly, why didn’t you run before that damn door opened?

Noah had his head down as he stepped through the door into the hall. I guess he sensed someone standing there because he immediately looked up in my direction. The blood drained completely from his face. I was numb from head to toe. All my systems were shutting down. The ability to think, speak and move had all left me. When I thought this situation couldn’t get any worse, she walked out behind him and peered over his shoulder at me.

“Well, hello Amanda. What are you doing here?” Brittani said with the most self-satisfied smug look across her face. What I wouldn’t give to punch that look right off her face.

I remained silent. How could I have been at the party this long and not have seen her until now? She was pretty easy to spot, at least her big ass was. Her arms crept around Noah’s waist. He quickly stepped away from her. She looked pissed, but recovered quickly.

Sounding syrupy sweet, she said to Noah, “Baby that was amazing, as usual. No one f*cks me like you. The way you suck my…”

“Shut up, Brittani,” Noah said, cutting her off. Anger laced his voice while sadness overtook his eyes as they stayed fixated on me. She raised her hand to run her fingers through his hair, but he shrugged away from her.

Placing her hands on her hips, she huffed, and said in a whiney tone, “What’s wrong?”

With his jaw clenched, Noah spat out, “Get out of here.”

She looked over at me with her signature Cheshire cat smile plastered across her face. God, I hated that damn smile and face.

She purred at him, “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready for round two, baby.” Giving me one last shit eating grin, she headed downstairs.

Noah and I never broke eye contact the entire time we were standing in the hall. Suddenly, the feeling started to come back into my body. I felt like I was going to throw up. I turned and ran back to the bathroom. I hovered over the toilet for a few seconds before emptying the contents of my stomach into it. The last time I had eaten was nine hours ago, so there wasn’t much to bring up. The dry heaves made my entire body convulse. My head was pounding and the ache in my chest was so intense, it felt as if my heart just shattered.

After I was sure all I had in me was gone, I sat on the floor, leaning back against the bathtub. The sobs started coming at a rapid pace. I had no control over myself. There was a soft knock on the door. I stayed quiet. There was another soft knock. Then I heard Noah ask, “Tweet, are you alright? Can I come in, please?”

Was he kidding me? I had gone from hurt, to devastated, to angry, to enraged in less than three minutes.

Trying to control my sobs I screamed at the door, “NO AND NO!”

The door behind me slowly opened. Trying to get to the bathroom as fast as I could, I forgot to lock it. I could not believe he was actually coming in here. I screamed, “STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, NOAH!”

I scrambled to my feet as the door swung wide open. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell. My eyes were blood red, my face was blotchy, and streaked with tears. Noah stepped in, closing the door behind him.

“I know you don’t want to hear this right now.” His voice sounded so small and strained. “I am so, so, so sorry.”

“For what? I’m not anything to you,” I said in as flat a voice as I could.

“It doesn’t mean anything. She’s just a f*ck.”

“Wow! What a romantic you are.”

He rubbed his hands up and down his face. “I was so angry with you for choosing him.”

“You’re not going to blame me for what you just did with her. How could you with her?” I stormed toward the door, but he grabbed my arm.

“I don’t know. When I saw you kneeling by that Smurff*cker helping him… It pissed me off.”

“So you f*cked Brittani to get back at me?”

“No! I wasn’t trying to get back at you. I just wanted to be numb.” Tears continued to fall down my face as we looked at one another.

I shrugged out of his grip, took a step back, and said, “Why with her? You didn’t see the look on her face when she came out of that room after the two of you…and saw me standing there. She looked so goddamn smug. Like she knew she had something that I never would.” Sobs were pouring out of me.

“You do have me. Every part of me. You always have. You just don’t want me.” His words slapped me in the face. He had to know that wasn’t the case. I explained all of this to him. I was beginning to suffocate. I had to get out of there. I shoved Noah as hard as I could. This time he let me move him out of my way. Once I hit the hall, I took off running. I ran down the stairs, through the living room, across the deck, passing Brad who was still waiting for me. I had no clue how long I had been gone. It could have been minutes or hours. Once I got to the bottom of the deck steps, I kicked off my flip flops, and ran full speed down the beach. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I had to get away.





I ran as fast and as far as my legs allowed before I collapsed from exhaustion on the sand. My breathing was so fast and heavy I was lightheaded. I heard my name being called in the distance. I didn’t care who it was. I didn’t care about anything except forgetting this night. As the voice got louder I didn’t look up, I knew who it was. Brad ran up and collapsed beside me, completely out of breath. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged my legs. I continued to stare out toward the ocean, hoping the crashing waves would calm me and help me forget what just happened.