Paradise Found: Cain (Paradise #2)(34)

“Where the f*ck have you been?” Atom growled in his slight Irish accent. The brogue was apparent more so when he was angry. He'd been leaning against his desk, but straightened the instant I entered his office. Anxiously anticipated me, I'd been coming and going often, over the past weeks, which increased after Abel confirmed Sofie had returned.

“Out,” I responded. I didn't owe him an explanation. I'd never given one before, but recently he was becoming more suspicious and inquisitive.

My father lived in a sprawling mansion, placed amongst the once rich and famous of Vegas. It was an older community, where movie moguls built their homes at the start of a time when this was going to be another Hollywood mecca. The house was a mix of stucco and flat rock, giving it a slightly dated look. I couldn't call it a home, but it was more a place to rest between the fights. It has also been my prison, when I was suspended for the death of an innocent man. My father claimed this was his paradise, but I found it a level of hell. I had another place in mind I considered Paradise and it didn't include brick and mortar. Besides, I owned my own house. A place I was attempting to make a home, albeit through unconventional means.

“I don't want you losing focus,” he demanded. “Fuck the girl, but don't get caught up,” he smirked. I shouldn't have done it. I'd never reacted before, but I lunged for him giving away my guilt and adding to my father's curiosity.

“Don't.” I cursed, on the verge of saying don't talk about her like that, the words trapped, thankfully. I'd already given enough away and the wide eyes of Atom Callahan knew it.

“Who is she?” he hissed, choking under the pressure of my glare and the fist at his throat. I released his stare instantly, and his hesitant cough told me I'd gone too far.

“No one,” I lied. It wasn't enough. “No one of importance.” The words stung coming off my tongue. I couldn't believe I denied her like that, but I couldn't have told him the truth. My wife. He would never understand. Women were a curse, in his opinion.

Despite my large body structure, Atom Callahan was still a skilled fighter. He’d given up fighting me when I finally fought back. He’d been waiting for the day, claiming it made me a man. Over time, I wasn’t certain what it made him that he beat his eldest child and ignored his other two. Not wishing to psychoanalyze him, I left the room. I had a fight to make and then I needed to blow off some pent up frustration.




The fight went off without a hitch and my father was once again proud of my performance. His approval seemed less important to me than it had in the past, though. Did I need his acceptance? Did I still desire his attention? I’d left Sofie behind to appease my father, keeping her a secret still, and cursing myself for it. I needed to walk away from him. I needed my gym to take off. I needed Sofie to love me. Flaws and all, I wanted her to love me, but I worried about Sofie. If my father discovered I’d taken a wife, his wrath would be unimaginable. If I settled down, and gave up the fight, his anger would be unparalleled. My thoughts wandered to Sofie’s damaged apartment: the shredded bed, the torn clothing, the scattered belongings. My father was determined I would continue to fight.

“Too determined to give up. Too strong to stop now,” Atom encouraged in a pep talk, when I was faltering at twenty-one years old with the decision to keep battling with my fists. I didn’t have an alternative plan then, so the fights continued. I had responsibilities. Physical contact was my labor, which remained the staple for our lifestyle.

I tossed and turned, despite the energy release of the fight. My initial intent to find Malinda was abandoned and I threw back one too many drinks, instead. I missed Sofie. My mind alternated between images of her and my mother. They looked nothing like each other except for the blue eyes. Sofie’s were more glacial, while my mother’s, were a deep royal blue color. I had lost my mother and it set the precedent for my feelings toward all women. Leave them first, before they got too close, had been my motto. Reinforcement of this sentiment came from my father.

Recalling my mother’s voice from the night she left, I was never certain if I dreamt it or if she really came into my room before she escaped. Tossed out is what I later learned.

“What do you expect me to say, Atom? He tempted me. Tricked me, and I wanted him.”

I didn't understand that word - want, but I did now. I wanted Sofie, like I’d never wanted anyone. Yet my mother’s words haunted me.

“Why can’t I come with you? Why can’t Abel or Evie go, too?” I questioned her.

“He’ll kill me before he’d let you leave here,” she stated, the edge to her voice almost as sharp as a knife.

“Be careful, Cain. Protect them from him. He’s turned into a dangerous man. He’ll break you, baby, if you aren’t strong, and I know you’re strong. You won’t fall like me. You won’t make my mistakes. Don’t be tempted by lust. Fall in love, Cain. Listen to what I learned. Open your heart to another and it will break, but it can mend. You will be disappointed if you want anything more than what you are given. Don’t imagine taking love, earning love, finding love. Fight for it, Cain. Fight for it. That’s the real fight, my darling boy. That’s the only fight worth fighting.”

For a moment, I thought I felt her cool hand brush back my hair, and I woke with a start as I had as a youth. She was gone. The scent of her cedar and apple perfume lingered in my childhood room, but my mother had disappeared all those years ago. Thrown out of paradise because she wanted more; she wanted love.