PULSE (Part Four)(4)

He drops to one knee now, trapping my body in the chair. There's nothing floating in the air between us this time but bitter anger and resentment. Anything his body may be trying to convey to me is being swallowed by my loathing for him. "It was about Cassie."
"Cassie?" I parrot her name back. "You f*cked me because of Cassie?"
He shakes his head and I watch his eyes skirt over my body. "I f*cked you because I can't get enough of you. I want you more than anyone. I've told you all this."
"Before I knew that you bet money on my ass." I try to stand but his frame is unyielding. He doesn't budge. His expression remains serious and passive.
"Do you want to hear what happened or not?" The question is a challenge. There's an undercurrent of impatience woven into it.
I lean back in the chair to try and find some air. "Tell me then."
"You'll listen?" He cocks both brows expectantly. "Jessica, you're going to listen to me?"
"Whatever. Talk." I push back on his shoulder wanting him to retreat. I can't breathe when he's close to me and I can't sort through my tangled thoughts when I don't have space to think.
"It's complicated." He pivots back on his heel. "It's so f*cking complicated."
"Don't bother then." I shove his chest to try to skirt my way around him. "Coming here was a mistake."
"I met Cassie at the same club I met you." His gaze is direct. "She was a wreck."
"A wreck?" I exhale. I can already sense where this is going. He's going to use Cassie's emotional wellbeing as an excuse for him being a complete and total douchebag.
"She was so wasted." He rolls his eyes. "She was falling over and some guy was ready to drag her out of the club to his place."
"So you recused her?" The words are fraught with sarcasm. I don't give a shit if they have skepticism written all over them. All I want is the truth, plain, simple and no holds barred.
He leans forward again, his breath skirting across my cheek. "I helped her avoid a situation she'd regret." His tone is cold, clipped and harsh.
"Then what?" At the rate this is going I'm never going to get to the bottom of his bet with Drew.
"Jessica." His finger jumps to my jaw and I recoil at the touch. "You came here for answers, so you need to listen."
I regret coming here. It was reckless of me to get in a taxi and race over here hoping he would actually tell me anything that even bordered on the truth. I should have followed my gut instinct and gone to see Cassandra.
"I'm listening," I bite back. "You met Cassandra at the same club you met me, you saved her from a big bad wolf who wanted to stick his dick in her and you f*cked her instead."
"Jesus, Jessica." He leans back to pull himself to his feet. "Shut the hell up and listen to me."




Chapter 5

"I didn't come here for this." I jump to my feet and bolt towards his office door in one swift movement.
His hands are around my waist before I have time to react. "You came here to get answers and unless you sit quietly and listen, we're never going to get anywhere."
"Never tell me to shut up." I push my index finger against his hard chest. "Never say that to me."
He scoops my hand within his and brings it deftly to his lips. "I'm sorry, Jessica. Please. This is killing me. You're ripping me apart. Can't you see that?"
I tear my hand from his grasp as his words assault me. "I'm ripping you apart?" My voice is barely more than a whisper even though my intention is a scream. I'm so tired emotionally. I'm so overwrought with everything that's happened. Why can't I just turn around and walk out of here? Why can't I just see that he's not good for me?
"Please, just listen. Jessica, you have to listen to me." The tone is pleading and edgy.
I swallow the bitter sting of my anger and lower myself back into the chair. "Five minutes, Nathan. Five minutes." It's all my body will allow me. Hell, I'm not certain I can even make it that long without falling apart.
"I met Cassie at the club like I said. She was so drunk, Jessica. I took her home that night and that's when I realized she had kids." He sits on the corner of his desk. "The babysitter who was there whined about how Cassie never paid her so I covered it. I slept on her couch because I was scared the kids would need something and she was passed right out."
"Allie and Aaron," I whisper their names.
"I fell in love with them." A small smile skirts the edge of his mouth. "Christ, you've seen them."
I nod at the reminder of how sweet they are. "They're beautiful."
"I made them breakfast and played with them." He closes his eyes and looks down at the floor. "There wasn't much to eat at their apartment so I took them to buy groceries before Cassie woke up."
I look away and scratch my neck, trying in vain to ward off all of the conflicting emotions that are racing through me.
"She couldn't cover her bills." He exhales audibly. "I just started paying for things. Almost every date we had was at her place so I could see the kids. I love kids."
It's a confession that catches me off guard. I know he loves his niece and nephew in Boston but this is the first I've heard of his love for children in general. I've never viewed him as the fatherly type. I'm no judge though. To me he's only ever been the type of man who loves to f*ck. He's not exactly multi-faceted in my eyes.