One Night to Risk It All(55)

“Mr. Christofides.” A man who was sitting behind a large desk in the ante chamber of Ajax’s office addressed him. “Mr. Kouros will see you now.”

“Oh, good. I don’t suppose you know whether or not he’s in a killing mood.”

“At work, Mr. Kouros usually is.”

“Well,” Alex said. “Damn.” He forced a smile and walked toward Ajax’s office.

“Alexios,” Ajax said when he walked in. “I was surprised when you said you wanted to see me, and you made it necessary for me to dodge my wife’s questions because I didn’t want to upset her.... Anyway, you’ve put me in a bad frame of mind already so if I were you, I would speak quickly. If you’ve come to make some sort of arch villain monologue, you’re wasting your breath. I don’t care.”

“Hardly. I thought you might want an explanation. For everything. For why I was after your company. After you.”

“You were at the compound, weren’t you?” Ajax asked, sounding weary, a tired look in his eyes. Yes, Ajax felt very much like Alex did about the whole business. “In which case I understand why you might have reason to dislike me. However, you should know, and I say this not to try and absolve me of sins past but so you have some closure, I was the key part in having my father’s crime ring brought down.”

“I am happy to know that. To know that you were a part of stopping it. I wish I had been.”

“You’re young,” Ajax said. “It took me time and age to do the right thing.”

“I was at the compound,” Alex said. “But that’s not really the important part of the story. The important part is what I found out after you left.”

“And what is that?”

“Your father had another son.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Ajax said, though some of the color had leeched from his face.

“Well, it did me. Knocked me on my ass, in fact.”

“And why,” Ajax asked, his voice rough, “is that?”

“Because it’s me.”

Ajax paused. “You’re sure?”

“He was. Enough to offer me his twisted kingdom when he passed, so I would say he was fairly certain.”

“And that’s why you’ve been after me? And my business?”

“I guess so. I was just blindly angry for the most part. How could you have escaped? And you had this perfect life. A family who loved you. A woman who loved you. And I had nothing. So I wanted to take it from you. Bring you down to the level I felt you should be on. The level I was on. But now I’ve hurt Rachel. And I’m not happy about that. I’ve also had a look at my own bloody self and let me tell you, it’s not pretty. Rachel aside, I needed to speak with you about this. To let you know I’m not going to be pulling any more stupid stunts in the name of revenge. I’m tired. Tired of this. Tired of all the ugliness inside of me. I just want to let it go. And I’ll never be the man she needs, I understand that. But I want to feel something other than...all of this anger.”


Ajax grabbed a cup on his desk and straightened it, his knuckles white, because he was squeezing it too hard. “You understand, though, that because of Rachel, our relationship can’t be...”

“I do. I don’t think I’m the sort of man who has close family ties. At least, I don’t know how.”

Ajax looked down, his expression blank. “I am glad you told me.”

“No more secrets. That old bastard doesn’t get to have any of us anymore. No more power.”

Ajax nodded slowly. “Yes. No more.”

“Thank you for seeing me. This is hardly the kind of news you leave on a voice mail.”

“Indeed not.”

“I’ll see myself out.” He turned his back on Ajax and headed toward the door. Then paused, before turning back around. “Ajax, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“How did you do it?”

“What?”

“How did you let it all go? How did you... How did you find it in you to ask a woman to tie herself to you for the rest of your life knowing where you came from? Knowing what’s inside of us...how do you ever truly believe you’ll rise above it? How can you ever believe you...deserve it when... No one has ever loved me. And I figure there’s a reason for that. How do I tell her I want it when I’m afraid it will destroy her?”

Ajax was silent for a long moment, his dark brows drawn together, his focus out the window. Finally he spoke. “Whatever our father said, whatever words he might have used, in my mind there was one thing he never did. One thing that he was missing that, had it ever taken root, would have changed the way he lived his life.”

“And what is that?”

“He didn’t have love, Alex. I think that’s the thing that changes us. It’s the only thing, at least in my experience, that can banish the monster.”

“Love is what made my mother kill herself,” he said, his tone flat.

“What do drugs do to you, Alex?” Ajax asked.

“They’re addicting.”

“They make you feel things,” Ajax said, meeting his eyes now. “They make you need them. But you don’t love them. They ruin you, make you think you can’t live without them. Addiction isn’t love. Which do you think your mother really felt for our father?”