No Kissing Allowed (No Kissing Allowed #1)(49)

My bottom lip trembled, and I swallowed hard to try to push away my emotions so I could speak. “So what should we do now?”

“No clue. You?”

“No clue,” I whispered.





Chapter Twenty-Five


My legs jumped as my fingers tapped against the bar in time to the music. Lauren, Alexa, and Grace insisted we go out. After all, it was a Friday and we were young twentysomethings, each of us single, though Lauren had dated Patrick pretty exclusively for the past few weeks.

I tapped my nails harder against the wood of the bar, and Lauren reached for my hand, stopping me. She glanced around to make sure we were alone—the other girls were already on the dance floor. “When does he arrive?”

“What? Who?”

She cocked her head. “You know who. You’re doing that nervous tap thing you do, where your mind is a million miles away, and you can’t sit still. When does he get in?”

I shrugged. “His flight landed a half hour ago.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I’m waiting on him to call me.”

She eyed the dance floor. “You don’t have to wait on him.”

“But, what if—?”

“Cameron, he cares about you. I know it’s complicated, but he does care about you. You don’t have to wait on him to call. This isn’t all on him. You have to tell him what you want, and if you care about him, too, you have to be willing to work things out.”

“He doesn’t want to commit.”

“Yeah, but he’s not with anyone else, either.”

I stared at Lauren, who cocked her head in that see-I-know-all way. But she was right. He wasn’t seeing anyone else. And despite everything, I didn’t want to be with just anyone. I wanted Aidan. And though he wasn’t ready for the whole forever thing, maybe if I pointed out to him that we were already exclusive, that it wasn’t scary, and that I wasn’t brokenhearted, then he would see that he could have a healthy relationship. It might require patience, but Aidan was capable of commitment. I knew it in my heart, and if Dad had taught me anything, it was that I needed to trust my heart.

I smiled as I focused on Lauren. “I’m going to go see him.”

She smiled back. “I’d already be gone.”

…

I called Aidan from outside his apartment, my nerves still coiled tight from the decisions I’d made. It never occurred to me before that I needed to help Aidan through this. If I cared about him, then I had to care about him enough to wait. We may not be in a strict, committed relationship, but we were something. I could feel it, and I wasn’t ready to let go.

He answered on the first ring. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice low as he buzzed me in, and then I was rushing into his building and onto the elevator, my foot tapping the entire way. It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened that I realized what I’d done. I’d just ridden on an elevator, without freaking out, without singing, without even a second thought. The realization that my desperation to see him had overcome my fear was enough to send me running down the hall.

Aidan pulled me into his arms the moment I crossed the threshold into his apartment. It had been five days with him in London, me here, and in that time, one thing became abundantly clear: I didn’t want this to end. I was ready to fight for what I wanted.

I rose onto my toes and kissed him with urgency, unable to stop myself, and then he lifted me into his arms and began walking toward his bedroom, his thoughts in line with mine. He set me down on the edge of the king-size bed and peered down and dear God, that simple look, so full of want, was my undoing.

“I care about you, and I know you care for me, too. We don’t have to follow any rules at all. We can take our time and let this, whatever it is, become whatever we want it to become. We don’t have to know right now. And maybe it ends anyway, but how can we let it end without trying?”

Aidan tilted my chin up and ran his thumb slowly over my bottom lip, his gaze following his thumb before locking on my eyes. “We can’t.”

Warmth spread through me. Forget talking. Forget kissing. I wanted to feel connected to him in every way, body and mind. I wanted to forget about what Alexa had said, forget about my job, forget about how it felt like I was walking in the middle of the street, bound to get hit any moment. For that second, I just wanted Aidan. And he wasn’t nearly close enough.

I stood up and ran my fingers down his tie. It was the red one I loved, and I smiled at my memory of the first time I’d seen it—the things I’d pictured him doing with it.

“I love this tie,” I said, my voice sultry.

Aidan’s eyes grew dark, drinking me in. “Oh yeah?” He shook out of his suit jacket and loosened the tie, then he leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck and whispered, “I’d rather see you wearing it…and nothing else.”

Desire raged through me, settling low in my core. “I think I can arrange that.”

I stepped away from him and took my time pulling off my sweater and slinking out of my leggings, careful to keep my eyes on him the entire time. His gaze swept over me as I unfastened my bra and let it fall to the floor, so I was before him in only a thong, him still fully dressed in business attire. I walked slowly toward him and reached for the tie, but he shook his head.