NOCTE (Nocte Trilogy #1)(69)

Someone just poisoned me.



***



Before I open my eyes, I know where I am. I also know why.

Someone fed me nuts.

Someone.

Finn.

That knowledge is dizzying, and so I focus instead on where I am.

I recognize the sterile medicinal smell of the hospital. I listen with my eyes closed, hearing the rubbery squeak of the nurses’ shoes, the beeps of the machines, the low murmurings out in the hallway.

I have a tube in my nose. Oxygen. The room spins, and I shift it back into focus.

Concentrate, Calla.

I open my eyes and the room spins. I shift it back into focus.

“Calla?”

My dad’s voice is calm and low. Shifting my gaze without moving my head, I find him in the corner chair, watching me in concern.

“I’m not dead?”

He smiles. “No. Thank God.”

My memory is blurry. “There were nuts,” I recall. “In my food.”

My father cringes. “Yes. I’m sorry, Calla. I didn’t see….”

“How long have I been here?” I ask. My voice is scratchy, my throat raw. I know from experience that they probably shoved a breathing tube down it.

“About four hours. We called an ambulance. You were out the whole time. You’ll be fine now. By tomorrow, you’ll be good as new, but they want to keep you overnight for observation.”

I nod.

I feel heavy, groggy, slow.

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask slowly.

“They gave you something to calm you down,” my father says hesitantly. His eyes are on my face, like he’s worried I’m going to fly off the handle. Did I before?

“Where’s Finn?”

My father looks away. “He can’t be in here, honey.”

“Why?”

My father sighs, and looks back to me. “You know why, Calla.”

I close my eyes. Because Finn knows I’m allergic to nuts. He knew and he gave them to me anyway.

Is that his version of saving me? Saving me from what? Sadness? Was his plan to kill me, then himself?

Pain ripples through me, slow, then hard, then unbearably, like a wave.

“I need to see him,” I say, the words cutting my lungs.

“No.” My father’s voice is firm.

I curl up on my side, looking away, out at the clouds having over the parking lot.

“Where is he?” I ask without looking at my father. He doesn’t answer, which sends chills down my spine.

“It’s my fault,” I tell him, turning over so that I’m looking him in the eye now. “It’s not Finn’s fault. It’s mine. I read his journal, I knew he was slipping and I should’ve told you, but I didn’t. He wants to save me from pain, dad. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. It’s not his fault, it’s mine.”

My voice takes on a jagged, desperate edge and my dad rubs my arm. “Calm down, sweetie. Everything’s going to be ok.”

“It’s not,” I insist, my voice shrill. “Don’t punish Finn. Don’t put him in the hospital, dad. It’s my fault. Not his. Not his.”

I’m practically screaming now, writhing in the bed trying to get up, but my dad holds me down, pleading with me. Before I know it, nurses have come in, two of them, one for each side. One injects something into my IV and then all of my agitation slips away. My anger is gone, my frustration non-existent.

“Please call Dare,” I whisper. “Please.”

And then everything is black.





38


TRIGENTA OCTO

Finn



“Let me go!” I shout, squirming to get away from the nurses. “I didn’t hurt her. I didn’t! I just had to help her. Don’t you see?”

No one can see and no one cares. They just wrap my wrists with elastic bands and fasten them to the bedframe.

I whimper into the pillow before I bite it. I’d never hurt Calla.

Never.

I’m doing all of this for her.

“Let me go,” I plead them. “I can’t leave her by herself. Please. I’ll be good. I’ll be good!”

But they ignore me and when I look up, I see my father’s face pressed against the glass.

I call out to him, but he doesn’t answer. In fact, his face slips away and doesn’t come back.

“Come back,” I whisper.

But he doesn’t.

My tears are hot, as I think about my sister, huddled somewhere in this hospital, alone and scared and thinking that I tried to kill her.

I would never. Would I?

YouDidYouDidYouDid. Don’tYouRemember? The voices are laughing at me, hissing and shrieking. YouDidYouDid.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

But my hands are handcuffed to this bed and there is no arguing that.

I fed her the nuts. There’s no denying that, either.

I close my eyes against the chanting in my head, trying to block them out. SisterKillerSisterKillerSisterKiller. You’reaMonster. Monster. WeControlYou WeControlYou.

Monster.





39


TRIGENTA NOVEM

Calla





When I open my eyes, I immediately focus on Dare sitting next to me.