Maybe Someday(60)

but when I finally worked up the courage,

339/692

Maggie showed up. If I knew she was

coming, I would have warned you. After

what I did to you last night and then see-

ing the look on your face when you saw

us together this morning, I knew it was

one of the most hurtful things I could

have done.

I have no idea what’s going through your

head, but I have to say this, Sydney. No

matter how I feel about you or how much

I think we could work, I will never, ever

leave her. I love her. I’ve loved her since

the moment I met her, and I’ll love her

until the moment I die.

But please don’t let that take away from

how I feel about you. I never thought it

was possible to have honest feelings for

more than one person, but you’ve con-

vinced me of how incredibly wrong I was.

I’m not going to lie to myself and say I

don’t care about you, and I’m definitely

340/692

not going to lie to you. I just hope you

understand where I’m coming from and

that you will give us a chance to navigate

through this, because I believe we can. If

there are two people in this world capable

of figuring out how to be friends, it’s us.

We read through each other’s messages. I read

his more than once. I didn’t expect him to be so

forthcoming and honest, especially about the fact

that he cares about me. I never for one second ex-

pected him to contemplate leaving Maggie for

me. That would be the worst outcome of all of

this. If he left her and we attempted to build a re-

lationship from that, it would never work. The

entire relationship would be built on betrayal and

deceit, and those two things have never made and

will never make for a good foundation.

Ridge: Wow. I’m impressed with us. We’re

both so mature.

His comment makes me laugh.

341/692

Me: Yes, we are.

Ridge: Sydney, I can’t tell you what your

message just did for me. Seriously. I feel

like the weight of all nine planets (be-

cause yes, Pluto will always be a planet to

me) has been crushing my chest since the

moment I walked away from you last

night. But knowing that you don’t hate me

and that you’re not mad and that you

aren’t concocting an evil revenge scheme

feels so damn good right now. Thank you

for that.

Me: Hold on. I never said I wasn’t con-

cocting an evil revenge scheme. ;) Also,

while we’re being so blunt, can I ask you

a question?

Ridge: What did I tell you about initiating

a question with whether or not you can

propose a question?

342/692

Me: Oh, my God, I can’t believe I ever

kissed you. You’re so ANNOYING!

Ridge. LOL. What’s your question?

Me: I’m concerned. We obviously have an

issue with the fact that we’re attracted to

each other. How do we get past that? I

want to write music with you, but I also

know that the few moments we’ve had

that wouldn’t make Maggie very happy

have all been while we’re writing music. I

think I’m just too desirable when I’m be-

ing creative, and I want to know what I

need to do to lessen my attractiveness. If

that’s even possible.

Ridge: Keep up the egotism. It’s very un-

attractive, and if it continues, I won’t even

be able to look at you in a week’s time.

343/692

Me: Deal. But what do I do about my at-

traction to YOU? Tell me some personal

flaws that I can engrave into my memory.

He laughs.

Ridge: I sleep so late on Sundays I don’t

even brush my teeth until Monday.

Me: That’s a start. I need a few more.

Ridge: Let’s see. Once, when Warren and

I were fifteen, I had a crush on a girl.

Warren didn’t know I liked her, and he

asked me if I would ask her out for him. I

did, and she agreed, because apparently,

she had a crush on Warren in return. I

told him she said no.

Me: Ridge! That’s terrible!

Ridge: I know. I need a flaw from you

now.

344/692

Me: When I was eight, we went to Coney

Island. I wanted an ice cream, and my

parents wouldn’t buy me one because I

was wearing a new shirt that “June Cleav-

er” didn’t want me to get dirty. We were

walking by a trash can, and there was a

melted ice cream cone in it, so when my

parents turned around, I picked it up and

started eating it.

Ridge: Yeah, that’s pretty gross. But you

were only eight, so it really doesn’t count.

I need something more recent. High

school? College?

Me: Oh! One time in high school, I spent