Maybe Someday(59)

We both walk to his bed, but I pause before

sitting down. I assume we’re about to do some

serious talking, so I hold up my finger and turn to

get my laptop out of my room.

He’s sitting on his bed with his laptop when I

return, so I sit, lean against the headboard, and

open mine. He hasn’t messaged me yet, so I type

something to him first.

Me: Are you okay?

I hit send, and after he reads my question, he

turns his face toward mine and appears slightly

puzzled. He turns back to his computer and be-

gins typing.

Ridge: In what sense?

334/692

Me: All of them, I guess. I know it was

probably difficult seeing Maggie after what

happened between us, so I just wanted to

know if you were okay.

Ridge: I think I’m a little confused right

now. Are you not pissed at me?

Me: Should I be?

Ridge: Considering what happened last

night, I would say so.

Me: I have no more of a right to be mad

at you than you do to be mad at me. I’m

not saying I’m not upset, but how will be-

ing mad at you help us work through this?

He reads my message and expels a huge

breath, leaning his head back against the head-

board. He closes his eyes for a moment before

lifting his head and responding to me.

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Ridge: Maggie showed up last night an

hour after I got back to my room. I was

convinced you were going to barge in and

tell her what a jerk I am for kissing you.

Then, in the kitchen earlier, when I saw

you standing outside your door, I was

bracing myself.

Me: I would never tell her, Ridge.

Ridge: Thank you for that. So what now?

Me: I don’t know.

Ridge: Can we not do the thing where we

brush it under the rug and act like it never

happened, because I don’t think that’s go-

ing to work with us. I have a lot I need to

say, and I’m scared if I don’t say it right

now, I’ll never say it.

Me: I have a lot to say, too.

336/692

Ridge: You first.

Me: No, you first.

Ridge: How about we go at the same

time? When we’re both finished typing,

we’ll hit send together.

Me: Deal.

I have no idea what he’s about to say to me,

but I don’t let it influence what I need to say to

him. I tell him exactly what I want him to know,

then I pause and wait for him to finish typing.

When he finally stops, we look at each other, and

he nods, and we both hit enter.

Me: I think what happened between us

happened for a lot of reasons. We’re obvi-

ously attracted to each other, we have a

lot in common, and under any other cir-

cumstance, I honestly believe we’d be

good for each other. I could see myself

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with you, Ridge. You’re smart, talented,

funny, compassionate, sincere, and a little

bit evil, which I like. ;) And last night—I

can’t even describe it. It is by far the most

I’ve ever felt while kissing someone. Al-

though the feelings aren’t all good.

There’s a lot of guilt mixed in there, too.

So as much as the thought of us being to-

gether makes sense, it also makes no

sense whatsoever. I can’t leave a relation-

ship with as much hurt as I did and expect

to find happiness within a few short

weeks. It’s too fast, and I still want to be

on

my

own,

no

matter

how

right

something might feel.

I don’t know where your head is, and hon-

estly, I’m scared to hit enter on this mes-

sage, because I want us to be on the

same page. I want us to work together to

try to push past whatever it is we’re feel-

ing so we can continue to make music and

338/692

be friends and pull ridiculous pranks on

Warren. I’m not ready for that to end, but

if my being here is too hard or makes you

feel guilty when you’re with Maggie, I’ll

leave. Just say the word, and I’ll go. Well,

I guess you can’t really SAY the word. You

could TYPE the word, and I’ll go. (Sorry

for the lame joke at your expense, but

there’s just too much seriousness going

on right now.)

Ridge: First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m

sorry I put you in that position. I’m sorry I

couldn’t be stronger in that moment. I’m

sorry I broke my promise to you about

never becoming a Hunter. But I’m mostly

sorry for leaving you crying on your bed

last night. Walking out and leaving that

whole situation unresolved was the worst

move I could have made.

I wanted to come back and talk to you,