Maybe Someday(117)

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He nods. “You suck. So does Ridge. Since the

night I gave him your address, you’ve both

sucked. All he does is work or write music. He

doesn’t even play pranks on me anymore. Every

time I’m over here, you’re just focused on study-

ing. You never want to go out. You never want to

hear my sex stories anymore.”

“Correction,” I say, interrupting him. “I’ve

never wanted to hear your sex stories. That’s

nothing new.”

“Whatever,” he says, shaking his head. “My

point is that the two of you are miserable. I know

you need time and blah, blah, blah, but that

doesn’t mean you have to give up fun while

you’re figuring your life out. I want to go have

fun. No one wants to have fun with me anymore,

and that’s all your fault, because you’re the only

one who can put a stop to the misery you and

Ridge are going through. So, yes. You suck. You

suck, you suck, you suck. And if you want to

stop sucking so much, then go get dressed so we

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can go out and not suck together for just a few

hours.”

I don’t know how to argue with that. I do suck.

I suck, I suck, I suck. Only Warren could put it in

such a simple, straightforward way that would

actually make sense. I know I’ve been miserable

the past few months, and it doesn’t help to know

that Ridge has been miserable, too. He’s miser-

able because he’s sitting around waiting for me to

get over whatever it is that’s keeping me from

contacting him.

The last thing he said in his letter to me was

Just say when.

I’ve been trying to say when since the moment

I read that letter, but I’m just too scared. I’ve

never felt about anyone or anything the way I

feel about him, and the thought of our not work-

ing out is enough to keep me from saying that

one little word. I feel as if the longer we wait and

the more time we have to heal, the better chance

we’ll have at our maybe someday.

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I keep waiting for the moment when I know

for sure that he’s moved on from Maggie. I keep

waiting for the moment when I know for sure

that he’s ready to commit fully to me. I keep

waiting for the moment when I know for sure

that I’m not going to be consumed with guilt for

allowing myself to trust someone with my heart

again.

I don’t know when I’ll get to that point, and it

hurts to know that my inability to move forward

is holding Ridge back.

“Now,” Warren says, shoving me out of the

kitchen. “Get dressed.”

? ? ?

I can’t believe I’ve let him talk me into this. I
check my makeup one last time and grab my

purse. As soon as he sees me, he shakes his head.

I huff and throw my hands in the air.

“What now?” I sigh. “I’m not dressed

appropriately?”

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“You look great, but I want you to wear the

blue dress.”

“I burned that dress, remember?” I say.

“The hell you did,” he says, pushing me back

toward my bedroom. “You were wearing it last

week when I stopped by. Go put it on so we can

leave.”

I spin around to face him. “I know how much

you like that dress, and wearing it tonight while

I’m out with you is a little too creepy, Warren.”

He narrows his eyes. “Listen, Syd. I don’t

mean to be rude, but all this moping around for

the past few months has caused you to put on a

little weight. Your ass looks huge in those jeans.

The blue dress may be able to hide a little of that,

so go put it on, or I might be too embarrassed to

go out with you.”

I suddenly feel like slapping him again, but I

know he’s just got a peculiar sense of humor. I

also know he might have a completely different

reason for why he wants me to wear this dress

and I’m trying not to let myself think it has

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anything to do with Ridge, but pretty much every

situation I’m in somehow makes me think about

Ridge. It’s nothing new. But Warren is a guy

who seems to put his foot in his mouth a lot, and

I’m a girl, so I still wonder if his sarcastic remark has any truth to it. I have been replacing the void Ridge left in my life with food. I look down at

my stomach and pat it, then look back up at War-

ren. “You’re an *.”

He nods. “I know.”

The innocent smile on his face makes me in-

stantly forgive any crudeness behind his joke. I

change into the blue dress, but I am so cock-blocking him tonight. Jerk.

? ? ?

“Wow. This is . . . different,” I say, taking in my