Make a Wish (Spark House #3)(72)

“Do you want me to be honest with you, or do you want me to pat you on the shoulder and say things like, it’ll all work out in the end?”

“I’d rather you be honest than feed me lines of bullshit.”

“Okay.” He nods once and grips the armrests of his chair, crossing one leg over the other. “The reason she still has control is because you let her have it.”

“She lives two hours away,” I point out.

“And yet here you are on a Sunday morning, in the office because you’re trying to get away from her. You know where you should be right now?”

“At home with my daughter.”

“No, asshole, you should be balls deep in your girlfriend.”

I give him an unimpressed look. “Shouldn’t you be balls deep in your wife, then, instead of here?”

“I was before I came here. You’re welcome for that information, and if you ever tell my wife I’ve used the term ‘balls deep’ in reference to our intimate encounters”—he makes air quotes around the phrase—“I’ll disown you as a friend. I get up at stupid o’clock in the morning on Sundays so I can get in some alone time with my wife before the kids are awake. And instead of sneaking off to your girlfriend’s house for some surprise morning nookie, you’re here, looking like a sad sack, bitching about how hard your life is because of your mother-in-law. I think the real question is, why won’t you tell her to back off?”

“Because I feel fucking guilty.” I look out the window, unable to meet his gaze.

“For moving back to Colorado Springs?”

“That’s one reason.”

Ian sighs. “Gavin, man, you can’t blame yourself for the rest of your life for what happened to Marcie. It’s not your fault.”

“If I’d listened when she said we needed to go to the hospital—” I choke on the words, unable to spit the rest of them out. The wound feels especially fresh considering the conversation I had with Harley on Friday.

Ian’s eyes grow sad. “She called Lynn that morning, while you were mowing the lawn, and Lynn told her it would be fine. That she didn’t need to go right away.”

“But I’m her husband.”

Ian stares at me, one brow arched.

“Was. I was her husband.”

“You gotta let go of the guilt, Gav, or you’re never going to be able to move on, and you’re going to keep letting Karen dictate your future.”

“She thinks Harley is too young for me.”

“She’ll find a reason for any woman you date not to be suitable. We already talked about Harley’s age, and the fact that your parents are more than a decade apart and have been married for nearly forty years, so we know that argument doesn’t hold a lot of water, unless you’re the one who has a problem with Harley’s age.”

“Someone thought she was the nanny at the school event on Friday.”

“And? Did she get upset about it?”

“No.”

“Did you?”

“No, I told the woman she was my girlfriend.” And then Karen had to be an asshole about it.

“I feel like we’re talking in a circle here, Gav.”

I knead the back of my neck. “That’s because we probably are.”

He nods once and steeples his fingers. “What do you want? If you could put everyone else aside and just focus on you, what would you want?”

“I can’t put Peyton aside.”

“Okay, but you can still put you ahead of everyone else. What do you want?”

I don’t even have to think about it, the answer just rolls off my tongue. “To be with Harley.”

“Why?”

“Why?” I echo.

“Yeah, why do you want to be with Harley? And don’t list any reasons that have to do with Peyton.”

That makes me pause, but he has a point. “I like spending time with her, she’s fun to be around, she makes me laugh, she’s full of adventure, we have a lot in common, and the sex is out of this world.”

He smirks. “You can still keep up in bed, then, huh?”

“I’m in my thirties, not filing for my pension checks, a-hole.”

“I know. I’m kidding. I just wanted to get a reaction out of you. Do you have any concerns about how she is with Peyton?”

“No. None. She’s great with her, and Peyton loves her.” I tap on my armrest. “Which is a problem on its own.”

His brows pull together. “That seems like it should be a good thing, not a problem?”

“It is and it isn’t. Peyton’s already attached to her, and that makes me really want this to work out, and not just for myself.”

Ian nods. “When you say work out, what exactly do you mean?”

I frown. “I want us to be a couple that lasts.”

“You’ve only been seeing each other officially for a few months, though, so you can’t know that for sure.” I can hear the concern in his voice. “It’s good that you’re into her the way you are, and that it seems mutual, but there’s a lot more that you both need to deal with.”

“I just don’t want Peyton to end up getting hurt if Harley and I don’t work out. She’s already lost enough.”