Make Me Yours(67)

“First.” I take the long business envelope off my desk. “It’s the first time I’ve been able to give this to you in person and thank you. After last night—”

“What…” Her voice fades out as she takes the envelope and looks inside.

I’m standing back feeling pretty proud of myself. “I included a little extra to cover our trip to New York. I know you had to buy a dress and shoes… I’m sure there were expenses.”

“You added… cash.” The color drains from her face, and my feelings of pride fade along with it. “New York was just a business trip to you?”

A knot is in my throat, and I feel like I’ve misread something. “No… I mean, yes, it was a business trip, but—”

She interrupts me talking fast. “If anything, I would’ve expected you to pay me less for this week, considering we spent three days…” Her voice breaks off. “Doing what? What were we doing, Remi?”

Her eyes flash anger at me, but I see tears gathering in them. It’s like a knife plunged straight into my heart. Stepping forward, I try to gather her into my arms.

“No!” She pushes me away hard. “What was it? I want to know.”

She’s trembling and I don’t know what to say. New York started as a business trip… Hell, it was always because of business, but having her with me gave me the strength to believe again. She believes in me, and it makes me believe in myself.

She brought me back to life.

I try to find the right words to say. My insides are a hot mess of feelings and thoughts and details I have to sort out. It’s all a tangle in my head, and I realize now I’ve taken too long to answer her question.

Her hand goes up, and she pushes me away. “I don’t have time for any more men and their games. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you.”

She throws the envelope at me, and I scoop it up, chasing after her, up the stairs to the third floor.

“Ruby, wait. I didn’t mean to insult you.” I follow her down the hall, and she’s moving fucking fast. “We talked about all of this before you came here, and you were fine with it. Hell, you seemed happy with the arrangement.”

“Yeah, I was.” She jerks open the drawers of her dresser and starts taking out her clothes. She tosses them on the bed and goes the closet, where she pulls out her suitcase.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m moving out. We discussed this last night.”

“Like hell we did.” Anger blazes in my chest, and I snatch the suitcase off her bed. “You’re not going anywhere.”

Her anger is back, flashing in her eyes. “Give me my suitcase.”

I relent and put it on her bed again. She immediately resumes throwing clothes in it.

“Why are you doing this? Aren’t you happy here?” It feels like a childish question, but I’m so fucking confused. I thought things were going great—better than great. I thought she cared about me. I thought she and I were on the verge of becoming something more.

“Am I happy here?” She stops slamming her clothes in the black case. “I was. Until people like Eleanor started calling me a whore. Until Serena North basically called me a high-class hooker in front of everybody at the preschool today.”

Fire roars in my chest. I didn’t know it was possible to feel this level of rage. “What did she say to you?” My jaw is clenched, and the words are more of a growl.

“Stop.” Ruby holds up her hands. “I would argue with them if I had a leg to stand on. As it is…” She shakes her head. “I’ve turned into exactly what they think I am.”

“You are nothing of the sort.” My voice is still growly. “I’ll shut every one of their stupid mouths. I’ll—”

“Remi…” Her voice is just below a shout. “Don’t you see they’re right?”

“I do not see they’re right. I don’t give a damn about those women or what they say or think.”

“But I do.”

I’m stunned by her quiet confession. “You do? But… Why?”

I’m confused and grasping at anything. I feel like my world is crumbling, and her mind is completely made up. I feel like she’s slammed an invisible door in my face and nothing I can say or do will get her to let me in.

I can’t make her stay, and it’s ripping out my heart. It’s tearing up my insides. I need her.

She resumes filling her suitcase, only slower. “I don’t care as much about me or my reputation. I care about my mom and how hard she works taking care of the seniors at church. I care about Lillie and the kids at preschool repeating what their parents say to her, or talking behind her back. She might not understand it now, but one day she will.” Ruby’s breath hiccups, and my heart breaks. “I care about you and what people say about you.”

“Fuck what they say.” I can’t stand this. “What can I do?”

“Nothing.” She puts the last of her folded clothes in the suitcase. “I’m moving out. That’s it.”

“You signed a contract. As Lillie’s nanny, you’re contractually obligated to live in this house.” I say it mostly as a joke, as a way to lighten the soul-crushing pain in my chest.