Love Online(74)



“What do you mean?”

“If it wasn’t a trick question, how would you answer it? If you could choose, how long would I stay?”

Without hesitation, Ollie answered, “I would say forever.”

“Well, I’m gonna stay longer than I normally do this time. And I’m gonna figure out a way to be with you guys more, and I don’t have any plans to stop coming back. So that sounds kind of like forever to me.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. I love your sister very much. And I love you, too. I want you to know that.”

Ollie’s eyes opened, something he only did when he was either stressed or really excited. It made me want to cry.

“You really mean that?” he asked.

Before Ryder, my brother had only known the men in his life to disappear. It meant so much to me that Ryder would be setting a different example.

Ryder placed his hand on Ollie’s shoulder. “If there’s one thing you know about me by now, I hope it’s that I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

Ollie nodded. “Yeah.”

“You know, Ollie, people who can see are sometimes able to look into each other’s eyes and tell when someone’s being sincere. I know you can’t do that, but I can show you something else.” Ryder took Ollie’s hand and placed it over his heart. “Feel that?”

“Your heart. It’s beating really fast.”

“It’s beating like this because I’ve been wanting to say these things for a long time, but I was scared to. I was so nervous to admit that to you—not because I’m unsure, but because I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. I’m in this for the long haul, if you want me to be.”

“Yeah, I do.” Ollie reached for him. “I love you, too, Ryder. Like, more than anything—besides Eden.”

They embraced, and Ryder shut his eyes tightly as if to soak in those words.

“You love me more than Gilbert Gottfried?”

Ollie pretended to have to think about it. “Yeah, I think so.”

“I’ll accept that one-percent doubt.”

After they broke their hug, Ollie asked, “Does this mean you’re moving here?”

“I can’t move completely yet, because I still have a lot to figure out at work. But I’m gonna try to come every weekend, if that’s cool with you.”

“If we lived in California, you wouldn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but your school is here, and that’s the most important thing.”

Ollie shrugged. “Says who?”

“Your sister. And you feel that way, too, right?”

Surprised at Ollie’s question, I addressed him, “You used to say you’d never want to move from St. George.”

“That was before Ryder. I love my school, but if I had to choose between the two, I’d rather have Ryder around every day. It’s not even a contest.”

Wow. I guess I underestimated his feelings.

“There are a lot of considerations,” I said. “You know this house inside out, and if we moved, you’d have to get used to an entirely new layout. We’d have to find a school that was a good fit for you. That takes time.”

Ryder could see the look of concern on my face. I was sure he knew this talk of moving was starting to stress me out. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to move to California. I wanted that more than anything.

As if he could read my mind, Ryder came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. “We’ve got all the time in the world. We can start by keeping an eye out for schools in California, though.”

“Or keeping an ear out,” Ollie corrected.

Ryder smacked his forehead. “You got me, kid. We’ll keep our ears and noses out. If the right fit comes along, we’ll make a decision together about moving. And even if we find a good school, you can change your mind. That’s okay, too.”

“It will be a team decision,” I said.

Ryder glanced over at me. “Yeah, a family decision.”

***

After Ollie went to sleep that night, Ryder seemed on edge as we retreated to my bedroom. We hadn’t discussed whether or not I’d be working tonight, although my plan was to skip it.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He seemed very tense. “There’s actually something I want to talk to you about.”

My heart sped up a bit. “Okay…”

“This is hard for me, because I normally consider myself a strong person, but when it comes to you, all bets are off. I’m jealous, out of control, a little crazy.”

“What’s going on?”

Ryder took me by the hand. “Come here. Let’s sit.” He sat on the bed with his back against the headboard and pulled me to straddle him. His face turned red as he let out a long breath. “I don’t want to share you anymore, Eden.”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was getting at. “You want me to stop camming…”

“Here’s the thing. I don’t want you to stop if it truly makes you happy. But if it doesn’t make you happy? Then, yes. I want you to stop.” He ran his hand along my body. “Because this is mine, and I don’t want anyone else to have it anymore—even virtually.”

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