Love Online(22)

A part of me still loved her. I always would.

Her eyes seared into mine. “Thank you, Ryder. That does mean a lot to me.”

I pursed my lips and nodded a few times before I said, “Well, I’ll let you guys go.”

Mallory’s stare lingered on me, her eyes masking so many unsaid words. I knew if Aaron weren’t standing right there, she might have unleashed some of them.

I wondered if this was how things would always be with us—just a blur of weird emotions and tension—or if someday we would be able to walk by each other and wave. Maybe someday the past would be in the past, but the look on her face gave me the impression that right now the past was still very much in the present.

I held my hand up. “Bye.”

“Bye,” she said. Aaron simply nodded.

As I walked away, I felt a sense of peace. Facing her had been the last step in ridding myself of the negative energy I’d been carrying around. Things may not have wrapped up neatly in a bow with us, but at least I faced her.

I knew, though, that a good portion of my peace really came from Eden, as fucked-up as that was. She’d come along at a time when I really needed a distraction. And what she’d given me was more than that. I’d thought I was dead inside until she helped awaken things again. She might not have wanted to fully reveal herself to me, but I was certain she cared. And that feeling of being truly cared for was something only a few people in my life had given me.

As the days went on, though, I’d begun to wonder more and more about who Eden really was, and what she was hiding from me. I didn’t think I could last much longer like this.

The situation was slowly breaking me.

***

That night, I was more determined than ever to convince Eden to take our relationship to the next level. The conversation I planned to have with her kept playing in my head. I’d give her all the time she needed, as long she would agree that someday we could see each other. Maybe I needed to flat out give her an ultimatum, tell her I couldn’t be celibate forever, that I needed release with an actual woman in the flesh. That wasn’t exactly a lie. I had a little patience left in that area, but what if I made her believe I didn’t? If she felt threatened, would she be more likely to agree to meet me?

When it was almost time for our private midnight chat, I still wasn’t sure how I was going to approach things. I was revved up, so I would wing it.

Connecting into Skype, I noticed Eden was offline.

Hmm.

That was strange. She normally logged on a little early, before her show had even ended.

As much as I tried to stay off the cam-girl site, I went over there now to see if she was still in the middle of a show. When I called up her page, it indicated that Montana Lane was offline. She was supposed to have been working.

A feeling of dread developed in the pit of my stomach. It was unlike her to be offline and not say anything to me.

Sweat beaded on my forehead. With each second that passed, I became more freaked out. This didn’t feel right.

I dialed her over and over on Skype with no answer.

After that, I sent a message to her email account.

An hour went by with no response.

I then became certain something was wrong.

It was one thing if she had dumped me. That, I could probably get over—eventually. What I couldn’t get over was the thought that something had happened to her. That idea was literally making me sick.

The wheels in my head were turning. What if one of those sick fucks found her and hurt her? What if a car hit her and she was dead? I would have no way of knowing.

When two hours had passed and there was still no response, my fear turned to full-fledged panic.

There was no way I was going to sleep tonight.

Think. Think. Think.

Suddenly, it came to me: the restaurant on her T-shirt.

When I was in India, she’d revealed something from her “real life.” I never called her out on it, but I sure as hell had made a note of the name.

Ellerby’s Grille Since 1985.

I knew she worked at a restaurant during the day—that was one of the few bits of information she’d given me—so logic told me there was a good chance Ellerby’s was it.

With my heart pounding, I opened my laptop and typed the name into Google.

There was only one result with that exact name. A website for the restaurant popped up. I clicked on the About Us tab and took note of the address.

St. George, Utah.

The realization stopped me in my tracks. It felt like I was violating her trust.

Utah. That wasn’t far. Maybe a six-hour drive?

You’re in Utah?

I didn’t know for sure. But it felt possible.

I scoured the website for any sign of her. It was a typical American bar and grill that served pub food and drinks. There were photos of platters—featuring close-ups of hamburgers, fries, and chicken fingers—and glasses of draft beer. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I came across photos of the staff in action. Some of them were wearing the same blue T-shirt I’d seen on Eden. Upon closer examination, none of them were her, though.

I’d gone through every page and found no sign of her. The only valuable information I had to go on was the location.

The question was…what was I going to do with it?

***

I managed to get about an hour of sleep. The first thing I did upon waking was check my email. There was still no response from her. I went to her camming page. Relief washed over me to see the preview photo was still there, even though it indicated she was offline. At least she hadn’t deleted her account, hadn’t disappeared off the face of the Earth altogether.