Love Beyond Words (City Lights, #1)(74)

He pulled out the five composition books. His latest novel. Slowly, with trembling hands, he laid the books on her coffee table.

“You said you don’t want me,” he said brokenly. “You want him. So take it.” He turned away. “It was already yours.”

He shouldered his bag and walked out, closing the door carefully behind him.

The strength went out of her, and Natalie fell to her knees. In the second before David emerged from her bedroom, she swept the composition books under her coffee table where they scattered amid some accounting texts and loose papers. There was a chance he didn’t hear Julian give them to her. Natalie didn’t even know what prompted her to hide them from him in the first place. A sudden, strange instinct. And then the tears came. She knelt, hugging herself and sobbing, rocking back and forth, as David locked her front door and stood before her.

“That was better than I could have hoped,” he said with grudging approval. “It’s over, but I remind you: don’t think to call the cops. I’ll be staying real close to him. Real close. Living with him. We’ll be living together,” he said again, obviously liking the sound of it. “If I catch even a whiff that something’s up, that you warned him or are up to something, I’ll just…I’ll end it all. We’ll die together. He and I.”

Natalie said nothing, stared at the ground.

“Cliff and his cronies aren’t going to let it go, either. Let me handle it. You’re out now. You’re free. Go about your business. Forget it ever happened. Forget all about him.”

Natalie stood up as if drawn on puppet strings. She faced David, raised her hand and slapped him across the face. Hard. So hard that her own hand stung with the force of it.

Rage boiled in his eyes as her handprint bloomed hot and red on his cheek. He raised the gun as if he’d strike her with it, but laughed instead.

“Okay.” He adjusted his glasses that she’d knocked askew. “You can have that. I won, after all. I won.”

He left, shutting the door with a bang, and Natalie let out the wail of anguish she’d been holding in. He was gone. The gun was gone.

Julian is gone.

She staggered back to the coffee table and pulled out the stack of books. She clutched them to her, cradled them, sobbing, and waited until her racing heart and roiling stomach calmed down. It took a very long time.





Chapter ThirtyFour


David hadn’t wanted to wait too long after leaving Natalie’s place to get to Julian. The fear that she’d call the police anyway was as sharp and hot as the slap on his face. No. She knows he’ll die if that happens. That I would end him…But would he? He recoiled from the thought. He wasn’t a murderer, of course not. But more and more the gun in his hand seemed less a weapon and more of an escape. A respite from the pain of watching that which he loved most in the world give his love to another. And perhaps stronger than that, the gun promised an end to the maddening chorus of whispers in his mind that constantly reminded him of his failures, of his loneliness, of the immense pressure that pushed down on him like an unseen hand.

No, I can handle it, he told himself. Natalie is stupid, but not stupid enough to risk Julian. I’ll just have to be vigilant.

The hours just after the break-up were crucial, and he wanted to ensure Julian’s train of thought started heading in the right direction. Julian would need a calm, steady hand to lead him away from these crazy notions of coming out of seclusion and back into the security and safety of anonymity.

But first he had to wait until the damned imprint of Natalie’s hand faded from his cheek. David sat in his car in the parking garage under Julian’s building. He checked his reflection in the rear-view, cursing the humiliation of it.

Fifteen minutes later, the mark on his cheek had faded into a blotch of redness. It would have to do. He raced up to the penthouse to find Julian standing ramrod straight, staring at the night skyline with bloodshot eyes, his arms crossed over his chest, his face expressionless.

“Oh, hey,” David said. “I…hope I’m not disturbing you. Just…uh, left something in the office.”

Julian didn’t reply; didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“Is…everything okay?

“No, David, it’s not.”

“What’s wrong?” David approached and stood beside him. “Are you all right?”

“Natalie and I…” He clenched his teeth. “We’ve broken up.”

“Oh gosh, Julian. I’m so sorry. That’s a real shame.” He laughed shortly and said, “Well, sure sounds like you could use a drink—”

Julian rounded on him with a sudden speed made all the more startling for his stillness before. “Why aren’t you surprised?” he demanded, his voice hoarse and thick with old tears. “Why aren’t you asking what happened? Did you have something to do with her leaving me?”

David stammered and stuttered, tripping over the coffee table in retreat.

“What? No…Of course not! Who am I to Natalie? She hates me. What could I possibly say that she would listen to?”

Julian considered this and then abruptly turned away, the haunted expression returning. “Someone said something to her. I just can’t believe that she would do this when…when we were so happy.”