Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(54)

When I walked away from him, in that split second when I looked at him, it seemed like I was walking away from him forever. I intend to go back to our room shortly. I just need a moment on my own.

I’m sitting outside by the pool, having a cold one, when someone plops down on the sun lounger next to mine. I instantly think it’s Lindsey and ignore her. I don’t want to deal with her bullshit.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me?” Spencer chuckles from next to me. I turn to him and shake my head.

“Sorry, thought you were someone else.”

“Matt? Did you two fight?” he asks concerned.

“No, Lindsey,” I say through gritted teeth.

“So Matt and you are okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” I ask, confused.

“I don’t know, man, going by the look on your face you look like you’ve just had your heart shattered into pieces.”

“No, we’re good. I did come down to clear my mind.”

“So something happened…” he presses.

“Yes, but not with Matt.” I blow out a breath.

“What has Lindsey done?” He sits up and faces toward me, resting his elbows on his knees.

“It’s a long story.”

“I have all night.”

That’s how I proceeded to tell Spencer pretty much everything that had happened with Lindsey and then my entire life story as he started to ask a lot of questions. I’m not sure what made me talk to him so freely. Maybe because I finally needed to let everything out. I feel much lighter from telling him everything. Maybe because he’s not as close to me as Matt is, or just because I don’t have the same feeling as I have for Matt.

Spencer is really easy to talk to. He’ll listen to you and try to give you advice, much like Matt.

“You know, we have a similar past besides the military thing,” he says taking a pull of his fresh beer as we move to the bar. I just texted Matt that I was in great hands.

“What do you mean?” I ask intrigued.

“My parents never accepted the fact that I told them I was gay. They disowned me and kicked me out. Haven was there for me and supported me. She’s helped me out so much to figure shit out.”

“There’s one thing I don’t get.”

“Why did I tell my parents I was gay if I was in love with Haven?”

“Bang on.” I chuckle.

“For a while, I thought I was gay. Haven was the only one I was attracted to, but I thought it was just because we were best friends and she was my everything. After a while, I realized that I was very much in love with her and couldn’t be with anybody else, so I just went with the flow and had sex with men and women. I didn’t care, it was just to release some tension. There never were any feelings, but it was getting harder to actually be with someone when I was falling harder for Haven day in and day out. Then I met Matt.” He chuckles and takes a long pull of his beer.

“What was he like?”

“As fabulous as he is now. He was amazing. He tried to get me to talk to him and to confess what was going through my mind, but I always refused to talk to him about anything. I didn’t want to bother anyone about it, and I just dealt with it how I could. Mind you, it wasn’t the best idea, but in the end, it worked. Matt and I were f*ck buddies for a little over a year, and he was always amazing. It actually started as f*ck buddies, but we ended up the best of friends after that.

“In the beginning, it was purely sexual. We would call or text each other up, set up a time and a place, and we’d f*ck and then go back to our places. The sex was good, so we kept going for it. Then, we started to actually talk when we were in the same restaurant on our own. We had lunch and just chatted our lunch break away, and we both ended up back to work three hours later.

“After that day, we’d meet for coffee, have dinner together, go for drinks and partying. Normal stuff, but it never developed into a romantic thing. At one point, I think we both wanted it to, but it didn’t work. In hindsight, I’m glad it didn’t because it could have ruined an amazing friendship. Matt ended things when he started seeing John. I respected his decision, and we just stayed friends. John always hated me, and I always hated John. He’s such a dickhead.” We both laugh. “Sorry for talking about mine and Matt’s story so much.”

“It’s alright. I knew most of it anyway.” I shrug.

“You two have been talking a lot.”

“Yeah, we’ve only started hanging out properly a couple of months ago. Actually, after he came in to book for his leg tattoo. After that, we’ve spent pretty much every evening having dinner or a drink over the fence.” I smile at some of the memories I have of us just casually having a drink in the garden.

“You make a good couple. He’s perfect for you, not only because he’s experienced, but he’s very leveled. He’s just an amazing guy to be around. He’ll make you feel special and always make sure you’re alright before himself, even though he can appear very self-centered. And you’re perfect for him because you’ll keep him on his toes, and you’re as leveled as he is. Despite things with him being new for you, you can bring him something good, something fresh.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it. It really is all new to me. I never expected to fall in love so quickly, or to fall in love at all.” I frown.