Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(52)

“You know I’m here for you, babe.” I sit next to him and wrap my arm around his shoulders.

“I know. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” He rubs his face and tries to keep it together, but I can tell he’s struggling.

“How about we drop everything and go to Bora Bora or something and live in a manmade cabin on the beach?”

“If only.” He chuckles humorlessly.

“It’s doable if we want to.”

“He’d find us and ruin it for us.”

“You’re afraid of what your father will do if he finds out?”

“I’m afraid of what I’ll do when he finds out.”

“Oh.”

“You thought I’d pick her?” he asks stunned.

“I was wondering who you would pick, yes.”

“Fair enough.” He looks heartbroken that I doubted him, and I hate that I did doubt him.

“It’s more of a what you’d pick—the easy way out and not have to suffer the consequences of your choice, or pick me and hope for the best,” I say truthfully.

“Thanks for being honest.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Always. I wish I knew what to do or what to say. I feel helpless right now, and I don’t think a blowjob would solve things,” I joke, trying to lighten up the mood.

“I don’t think I could get it up.”

“I like a challenge.” I smirk and kiss his neck.

“I know you do. I just need some time.”

“For?” I ask, my heart suddenly pounding.

“To process what just happened. Even though I’ve known most of my life that I was attracted to men and fully accepted that I know you’re my one, I have yet to process the fact that I’ll have to tell my family what’s going on. I’m scared shitless of what they could do to you. I don’t care if they hurt me. I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“I’m your one?” I ask stunned.

“Out of what I just said, that’s all you took out of it?”

“Well, it’s a big deal.” I chuckle, slightly embarrassed.

“Yes, you’re my one. Fuck, I never thought I’d be in love with someone, but what we’ve been experiencing together these past couple of months has made me realize how I really feel for you. I don’t know if you feel the same, but yeah, I love you, Matt. And I f*cking wish I could have told you under other circumstances.”

“I love you too, Nate. It hit me this morning that I was in love with you and scared shitless of losing you.”

“When?”

“After we heard Lindsey.”

“That’s when I realized too.” He chuckles.

“We’re just perfect together.” I smirk.

“We are.” He kisses me and wraps his arms around me.

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask caressing his back.

“Yeah, I just need some time.”

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?”

“I’m just going to go for a walk along the beach. I just need to process it all. I promise I’ll be back really soon.” He kisses me softly.

“If you’re not back by tonight, I’ll send a search and rescue team.” I chuckle, half meaning it.

“Make it tomorrow morning if my sister decides to kidnap me again and torture the shit out of me with their giggling.” He shudders.

“Alright, I’ll give that to you.”

“Here, give me your phone.” He holds his hand out, and I pass it to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting her phone number in your contacts so you can join her. It might be a huge mistake, but if it puts you at peace, I’m willing to do it for you.” He smiles and hands me back my phone after adding his sister’s number.

“Thanks, babe. Be careful please.”

“I will be. Don’t worry about me.”

“You know I’ll worry about you.” I frown.

“I know and me about you.”

“Well, unless Charlie Hunnam comes out of the TV screen and asks me to ride away with him on his Harley into the sunset, you don’t have to worry much about me.” I chuckle.

“Would you leave me for him?” He feigns being outraged.

“No, you’re way hotter than him, and you have a nicer ass.” I smirk and grab his ass as he gets up.

“Good to know I still have something over him.” He leans down and holds my face with his hands. “I love you, always remember that.” He kisses me hard and walks out, taking one of the key cards with him.

Despite him confessing his love to me, it feels like he’s just walked out of my life, and I let him.



Four episodes into Sons of Anarchy and I get a text from Nate.

Nate: I’m in good company. Don’t worry or frown, it’ll give you premature wrinkles!

He attached a selfie of him with Spencer at the bar. I’m relieved that he’s just not wandering outside on his own. I know we’re in the touristy part of Maui and it’s a luxury resort and all that, but there are always people with all the wrong intentions ready to hurt you and jump you at any given chance, including Lindsey. The bitch.