Love At First Glance (Love at Firsts #1)(61)

I hope he was worth it.

I’ll love you forever, even though it’ll probably kill me, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t handle him in your life. I’m well aware that we aren’t a couple and I have no say in whether you can hang out with someone or not, but this is ruining me.

I need to take a break from us. I’m sorry that I’m telling you this through a letter, but it’s easier than telling you face to face. I’m not as strong as you think I am.

I’ll be in touch when I’m back in town.

Love you always.

Spencer xx

I look at the letter with tears streaming down my face. I am stunned by the words written on this piece of paper that I want to rip apart instead of keeping it like the others. I don’t understand half of what he’s saying, but it’s pretty clear that he’s confessing his feelings for me. Why is he leaving me though?

For once, I don’t overthink but react. I get up, put my shoes on and sprint out of my apartment after grabbing my keys and locking the door. I don’t have time to dwell on this stupid f*cking letter. I need to get to his place before he leaves. I can’t let him go, not without an explanation.

I rush to my car and speed to his house. I keep trying to call him as I drive, but it keeps going to voicemail after two rings, he’s no doubt ignoring my calls. I probably break all the speed limits to get to Spencer’s place, but right now I couldn’t care less.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I see his car parked in the driveway and the lights on in his house. I park behind in the driveway and get out of my car. We are finally getting to the bottom of this right now. I won’t lose him without a fight.

I walk up to his front door and ring the doorbell. He doesn’t answer at first so I keep ringing and pounding on the door. I swear if he’s with someone I am castrating him where he stands. I’m about to knock on the door again when he opens the door wearing his trademark sweatpants and nothing else. I take in his beautiful face for a second and note the snarl that is marring his handsome features. Well that doesn’t bode well.

“Such a surprise to see you here. Alone. Your boyfriend not with you?” he says angrily and sounds incredibly drunk. This is going to be interesting.

“What are you talking about? What boyfriend?” I ask him.

“Valentine.” He spits as he stands in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, effectively blocking me from him and from going inside.

“What about him now?” I ask feeling exacerbated at the idea of having to have this talk again. My heart is pounding in my chest, I feel numb and yet I’m boiling with rage at the fact that he’d cast me aside so easily because he’s jealous.

“I know you two f*cked. I can’t believe you would do that after you told me you were in love with me and that you’d never date him,” he says, getting angrier by the second.

“Uh, no, we didn’t f*ck. I told you I was in love with you?” I ask bewildered. When the hell did I do that?

“Don’t act like nothing happened. I know you f*cked him,” he yells at me. I’ve never see him like this before, he’s actually scaring me. His eyes are dead, and he’s looks like he’s been crying. He’s drunk and is shaking with rage in front of me.

“Who told you that?” I ask calmly, not wanting to add fuel to the fire.

“Nobody, I heard it for myself. It was quite a performance. He did make you scream louder than I did when we were faking it. But that’s all we seem to be doing; faking it. Fake relationship, fake sex, fake everything.” He punches the wall by the doorframe as tears fall down his perfect face.

“Calm down, Spence. What are you going on about? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I try to touch his arm, but he quickly pulls away from me.

“I’ll gladly refresh your memory, but you should get yourself checked if you don’t remember f*cking your boyfriend earlier. Oh and you also get checked for STDs, who knows what the guy has with the amount of women he’s had in his bed. I can’t believe you fell for his shit after everything we’ve heard.” His voice is void of any emotion.

“Again, we didn-”

“I went to the magazine because I wanted to surprise you with lunch. You know, spend some time with my best friend, but you weren’t there. I tried to call you, but you weren’t answering so I went to your place to check on you, just in case you had gotten sick and forgot to call work since you were still feeling rough from your clubbing antics. Anyway, I went in and not two minutes after, I hear loud moans and screams coming from next door that it sounded a hell of a lot like you.” He points at me and I notice that a large bandage covers his ribs.

“What happened to your ribs?” I look at him worried, taking a step closer.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says, his voice cold.

“Yes, it does,” I say through gritted teeth.

“No, trust me, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I look at him feeling fed up with his bullshit and mystery. “I don’t know what you think you heard, but I wasn’t at Valentine’s place. I interviewed Untamed Shadows and it ran on a lot longer than planned because they offered me the chance to stay for their rehearsal and get exclusive footage for the website. It took me two f*cking hours to drive back home in rush hour traffic and when I got home I read your letter, I drove over here straight away. So please tell me when exactly I had time to f*ck Valentine? I can’t believe you would throw over twenty years of friendship out the window like that. I’m not leaving until we talk this through. I don’t give a single f*ck if you like it or not.” I stand my ground, knowing he usually caves when I stand up to him.