Letters to Nowhere(92)

He gave me a quick kiss on the mouth. “Because I know you’ll be busy and I won’t have to go. I know you’re going to kill it tomorrow and you’ll be in Rio on prom day and I’ll get to tell everyone I asked my girlfriend and she said yes but we’re not going because she’s busy now and I would never go with anyone else.”

“You really think I’m good enough?”

“I know you are.”

I smiled up at him. “Second confession?”

He stared at me for a long five seconds. “I love you.”

Some of the tiny pieces of my shattered heart glued themselves back together, just like that trophy Jordan and Blair had repaired. “I love you, too. Not just because you’ve helped me—which you have. Or because we have this common tragic past, but because you wanted to kiss me first and you’re humble and forgiving and so much more than anyone else gets to see. And because I keep having these fantasies about you speaking with an English accent.”

He laughed and kissed me again. “I’m not sure I should stay here all night. You probably need to actually sleep before your competition tomorrow.”

“We can sleep,” I said, hoping he wasn’t really going to leave.

He released me and sat up before pulling his T–shirt over his head. It hit the floor, and he froze when he saw my face. “What? I can’t sleep with a shirt on. You said we were sleeping…?”

I shook my head, diverting my eyes from his bare chest and kind of awesome abs. “It’s fine. I just had a moment of panic. It’s not Stevie’s living room with sleeping bags and Blair passed out on the couch. It’s not the kitchen with your dad and his newspaper and coffee. Teenagers alone in a hotel room, seems like it should be illegal or something.”

“I don’t think making it illegal would stop anyone.” Jordan settled into the pillows, pulling me beside him. I lay on my back, looking at the ceiling and not his half–undressed body. He turned on his side and picked up my hand, pressing my palm to his lips. “We’re still doing the thing where we say stuff instead of not saying it, right?”

“Right.”

His eyes stayed focused on my hand as he played with my fingers. “Sex—for the whole sixty or so seconds it lasted—was really great and all, but it’s just sex. I can’t put much value on those experiences, so I’m not in a hurry to go there, you know? Even mentally. I know guys are supposed to be thinking about sex every second of the day—”

“My dad told me that.”

His forehead scrunched up for a second. “Okay, if anyone asks, you should probably say that I’m just like that. I don’t want to appear to be extra sensitive or anything.”

I smiled. “Of course not.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Anyway, what’s cool about me and you is that I don’t really plan stuff. I don’t know what we’re going to do next any more than you do. I think it’ll happen on its own and we’ll both be ready for it. Whatever it is. The first time I kissed you, it was like that. I had no idea, when we arrived at that part, that I would leave thinking about you in a completely different way.”

“It totally freaked me out,” I admitted, laughing. “But then I was thinking about kissing you again right away.”

“Me, too.” His fingers slid under my T–shirt and rested on my belly button. “So, don’t be nervous about being here or being alone with me, because I don’t have a plan, and we’ll figure it out together. Like we have been all along.”

I closed my eyes, taking in a slow, deep breath. “Keep talking. A few more perfect lines and you’re bound to add tenths to my scores tomorrow.”

His ADD hands started moving over me and his lips were on my neck and he whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

“So are you,” I mumbled. “Especially without your shirt on. Do you even do any conditioning? I’ve never seen you do so much as a sit–up.”

“We have excellent physical education at my school.” He pulled his head up, watching me yawn. “I hate to say this, but you probably should get some sleep.”

I nudged him onto his back and rested my head against his chest. “I’m tired, but I don’t want to have any nightmares. I’m feeling too good to ruin it.”

He squeezed me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “You won’t. I’ll make sure you don’t.”

I squeezed him tighter, remembering what he had revealed to me the other day. “Then I’ll make sure you don’t either.”


Mom and Dad,




No more letters until I figure out where to send them. Right now they have nowhere to go.




Love, Karen





CHAPTER TWENTY–TWO





Some part of my brain processed the sound of the door opening in the morning, but I figured it was Blair, and I mentally checked off the concerns I should have with that, and Jordan and I were mostly dressed, on top of the covers, and not touching any of the “no zones.” I wasn’t too worried, and I let my brain begin to drift back to sleep.

That is, until I heard the sound of Coach Bentley coughing loudly. I peeled my eyes open and was met with the very shocked faces of Stacey, Bentley, and Nina Jones.