Kiss and Don't Tell(81)

Winnie takes my hand in hers. “I think that’s probably smart, Pacey. You don’t want to mess around with a head injury. Trust me. My mom didn’t go to the doctor for a long time and I always wondered what it would’ve been like if she did. Would they have been able to help her if she’d gone sooner.”

“Yeah, the guys are adamant about it even though I’m less than thrilled. This migraine wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the others.”

“They’re looking out for you. No need to be angry about it.”

“I’m worried about what you’re going to do,” I say, speaking my truth.

“Well, I’ve been doing some thinking, and even though I’ve enjoyed my time here, I think it’s going to be hard for me to stick around after I talk to Uncle RJ. Don’t worry, I was going to tell you, not just leave, but I think I’m going to drive back to Seattle afterward.”

“What?” I ask, panic setting in. “What happened to wanting to find yourself while you’re here, feeling a connection with your mom, figuring out your future?”

“Although I think the idea has merit, I just . . .” She doesn’t look me in the eyes. “I don’t feel her here.”

“So, you’re going back to Seattle? You said you set out to go on an adventure. I wouldn’t say a week is an adventure.”

“Hey.” She removes her hand from mine. “You don’t get to put a timeline on adventure.”

“I’m allowed to mention something when you cut your timeline short. If this is about me leaving, I’m coming right back.”

“I decided this before I knew you were leaving,” she says.

“I don’t get it.” I look to the side. “What happened between yesterday and today?”

She doesn’t answer right away. I hear her phone buzz on the comforter and when I glance at it, she flips the screen over.

“Honestly?” she asks.

“Yeah, honestly.”

She scoots back against the headboard of her bed and crosses her legs, but then pulls them up to her chest. She puts enough space between us to let me know where this is going.

“I’m going to speak what’s on my heart, because that’s what adults do, but for your information, this is hard on me and not something I would normally do.”

“Okay . . .” Why do I have so many nerves bubbling up inside of me?

She clears her throat and lifts her chin. “Since I arrived here, I feel as though I’ve been thrown through a gauntlet of emotions. I’ve been so grateful that I stumbled into your house. I’m grateful for the friendships I developed here and the experiences we’ve shared. I’m worried about my future, what the hell I’m going to do and how I’m going to recover from the devastation of losing my mom. With your injury, I’ve been reminded of the fears I lived with on a daily basis with my mom’s brain tumor, which brings me to my last part—I’m terrified.”

“Because of my migraine?” I ask, confused.

“Partially, but more importantly”—her eyes divert away from mine—“I’m terrified because in a short amount of time, I’ve grown to care about someone I probably shouldn’t care that much about.”

She cares about me? I go to reply, but she raises her hand to stop me.

“I like you, Pacey. I like you a lot, and that terrifies me because I’ve never felt this strongly toward someone. And certainly not this quickly. Watching you go through the pain of a migraine was scary. Seeing you get hit in the head with the puck made me physically feel ill. And it’s all because I really, really like you. I don’t know how to handle those feelings, how to process them.”

My mouth goes dry as I say, “I can understand that.”

“So, even though it pains me, I think it would be best if I went home and sorted things out, you know?”

“No, I think you’re running away instead of facing your feelings head-on.”

Her eyes snap to mine. “You have no right to say that.”

“I have every right to say that,” I reply in a harsh tone, harsher than I expected. “Look, Winnie, I understand you must be scared, because I’m scared, too. I feel the same way about you. This strong connection, this bond we have—it’s special and I don’t want to lose it.”

“It’s too quick.” She shakes her head.

“Maybe it’s supposed to be quick. Ever think about that? Remember what I said? There’s no timeline when it comes to relationships. Everyone is different.”

She sighs and looks off to the side. “Pacey, I’m so grateful—”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” I say before she can start with whatever bullshit goodbye she’s ready to give me. Because that’s not happening. Not when I just found this girl. “This isn’t the end, Winnie.”

“What?” she asks, her face registering complete shock. “Pacey, we’re going our separate ways.”

“You live in Seattle, Winnie. That’s two and a half hours from Vancouver. Do you really think that’s too much of a distance to consider dating?”

“Dating?” Her eyes nearly jump out of her sockets. In disbelief, she shakes her head. “You want to date me?”