Kiss and Don't Tell(84)

As for Pacey, I have no idea what the future is going to bring, if he’s really going to want to date me, like he said. He’s going to have a lot on his plate with whatever is going on with his head and the upcoming season. Sure, two and a half hours seems doable now, but what about when the season starts? It’s all just so up in the air.

But that kiss . . .

“God,” I mutter while snagging my pillow and putting it over my face, preparing for the scream of frustration that wants to pop out of me.

Ding.

I still.

Was that my phone?

I lift the corner of the pillow and glance toward the lit-up screen on my bed.

That was my phone.

God, please don’t be Josh. Please don’t be Josh.

I move my pillow to the side, reach for my phone, and see there’s a text . . . from Pacey.

Thank God.

I quickly unlock my phone and read his text.

Pacey: You up?

Oh yes . . . I . . . am.

I flip onto my stomach, prop my pillow under my chest, and text him back.

Winnie: Yup. Can’t seem to sleep. I’d ask if you’re up, but I’m pretty sure you are, unless you’re really good at sleep texting.

Pacey: Nah, I’m up. I think all my daytime sleeping fucked me up.

Winnie: Yeah, it was that long nap that killed me too.

Lies. All lies, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Pacey: Then talk to me. Tell me something. Anything.

Anything? Hmm, well, my ex-boyfriend, who you like to often call a tool, texted me today, asking if he could talk to me, that it’s important, and a crazy part of me is actually thinking about meeting up with him.

Clearly, that’s not what I’m going to say.

Winnie: Anything?

Pacey: Yes, anything. Hold nothing back.

I give it some thought. I push Josh to the back of my mind, because he doesn’t deserve any space in my head, not right now. And because I can’t stop thinking about that kiss, I say . . .

Winnie: Not to boost your already inflated ego, but you’re easily, hands down, the best kiss I’ve ever had.

And that’s the scary truth, why being with Pacey is so terrifying. I know he’s special. I know he could possibly be what I’ve been looking for, what my mom would want for me.

Pacey: What made it the best?

Winnie: It was the way you made me feel.

Pacey: And how did I make you feel?

I think on it, bringing the kiss to the forefront of my mind, letting myself get lost in the moment all over again.

His strong body gripping me tightly, not allowing an inch between us. The controlling way he claims my lips so I can’t focus on anything except him. The softness of his lips, the light strokes of his tongue, the deeply masculine scent of his cologne. He’s intoxicating.

Winnie: Claimed. Owned. It was how you gripped me. How your lips roamed mine. How you put your body into the kiss, your entire body. You made me drown in need.

Pacey: Confession—you’re easily the best kiss I’ve ever had, as well. Hands down, no competition. I can’t stop thinking about your lips, the soft moans from the back of your throat. Fuck, Winnie.

I feel a smile lifting the corners of my mouth. And just like that, I get lost in Pacey, in his words, in the bond we share.

In his honesty.

Winnie: What made it the best?

Pacey: You weren’t putting on a show for me.

Winnie: What do you mean, exactly?

Pacey: Given my profession and celebrity status, in the past, women have just been extravagant in their kissing. Trying too hard. Acting overzealous, trying to prove something with their mouths. Not with you. It was genuine. There was passion, there was need, but you also captured me with a hint of innocence in your touch. Everything about it turned me on.

Winnie: Me too.

Pacey: If you were in my bed right now, would you be saying this to my face?

Winnie: Probably not. Text messaging gives you an ounce of anonymity. More confident behind the keyboard.

Pacey: Okay, if that’s true, then tell me, if you were in my bed right now, what would you be doing? Would you just want to snuggle?

Winnie: Knowing me, I probably would snuggle, but be burning inside to do more.

Pacey: Like what?

Winnie: Draw circles down your abdomen.

Pacey: How far would you go?

My face heats up. I’m sexting Pacey Lawes right now, actually sexting him. I’ve dreamed of sending naughty texts before and I did once with Josh, but he never went along with it. So, I’ve never tried again. But from Pacey’s response, from his questioning, I can tell he’s open to it. At this point, what do I have to lose? I need to get lost in the moment and just . . . enjoy.

Winnie: To just above the waistline of your briefs. And then I would pull back up.

Pacey: Fucking tease.

Winnie: I would circle around your nipple and then slowly rotate my finger across every one of your abs until I hit the waistline again . . .

Pacey: Fuck. I can feel it. Would you slip your finger past the elastic?

Winnie: For a second, but then pull away.

Pacey: I would be hard as stone, begging for you to go farther.

Winnie: I wouldn’t, not until I repeat the process as least three more times.

Pacey: Three? Fuck. Then what?

Winnie: When I finally reach your waistline, I would push your briefs down just enough to expose your cock.