Kiss and Don't Tell(76)

“I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” I sit up even more so I have a better view. I want to be able to take in every inch of him.

“Come here,” he says, pulling on my hip. “Why are you trying to get away from me?”

“I’m not.” I chuckle. “Just trying to give you space since I was just wrapped around you like a koala.”

His hand lands on my thigh and his thumb caresses my leg. “I liked it. I want you near me.” His grateful eyes connect with mine. “Thank you for taking care of me. Seriously, it might seem stupid, but having you next to me really helped.”

“I don’t see how.” I try to laugh it off, but he grows serious.

“It was the comfort. That human connection. It helps, especially for someone who’s alone so often.”

I place my hand on his chest and move my fingers over the short-clipped hair. “I know the feeling . . . of feeling alone.”

Knock. Knock.

The door opens and Eli pokes his head through the crack. “You’re awake,” he says, moving into the room now with a tray of food for two and fresh waters. “How are you, man?”

He sets the tray on the nightstand, carefully moving the drink I brought earlier.

“Better,” Pacey says, keeping his hand possessively on my thigh. He looks at the tray and smiles. “You added a bud vase and flower?”

Eli glances at the tray and then back at us. “Stephan did that bullshit. You know that’s not my style.”

“Yeah, your style is more of a dildo centerpiece.” Pacey cracks a joke, offering a smile. He really is feeling better. That should put my chest at ease, but it still feels tight. Worried.

A laugh bubbles out of Eli. “Yeah, you’re right about that.” He scans Pacey and adds, “Just from that little joke, I can tell you’re feeling better. Maybe get some food in your system. I put some medicine on the tray. I’m sure you need more.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Sure. When you’re ready, Silas has the pool doors open and the breeze is really nice. Might be good to get some fresh air.”

“That would be great. Thanks.”

Eli gives us a smile, and then he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

“Well, I’ll let you eat and—”

Pacey’s hand clamps down on my leg. “It’s cute that you think you’re leaving,” Pacey says with humor in his voice. “Nah, you’re sticking by my side today.”

“I don’t want to be too . . . clingy.”

“I would appreciate it if you were clingier, actually.” He reaches for the tray but I lean over him and grab it before he can.

“Take it easy, big guy. We just got you talking again. Don’t need you pulling a shoulder muscle.” I place the tray on his lap.

“I doubt lifting a tray would pull a shoulder muscle, but I do like you leaning over me like that.”

I smile softly while I hand him a glass of water. “I see how it is. You start feeling better and now you’re flirtatious again?”

“Got to let you know I’m always interested.”

I meet his eyes. “Oh, I know, just from the way you clung to me this morning.”

He takes a sip of his water. “I think the feeling is mutual, since you passed out on me and I was the one who needed to wake you up.”

“Maybe stronger,” I admit, the words slipping off my tongue before I can stop them.

“Is that so?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know why I said that.”

“Because you mean it.” He tips my chin up. “No shame in showing how you’re feeling.”

It is when the feelings absolutely terrify me.

“Why don’t we focus on replenishing you.” I busy myself with handing him a sandwich. “I do have to make a quick call to the tow company. I think the roads are ready and I don’t want Minnie thinking I forgot about her.”

“You do? It rained yesterday.”

“Yes, but it’s supposed to be sunny all day today. Worth a shot.”

“You’re going to have her towed here, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Good.” He takes a bite of his sandwich and I reach for my phone.

I slide off the bed and say, “Be right back.”

“You can make the phone call in here, you know,” he says before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“I know I can, but I don’t need you distracting me. This is important business.”

Before he can bounce back with a retort, I exit the room and head for mine. I shut the door behind me and take a deep breath.

My body is heated, my heart is racing, and confusion consumes my brain as I slide down against my door until my butt is on the floor. What just happened? It’s not a panic attack, I know that much. But it does feel a lot like when Mom came home from her first Gamma Knife surgery. That moment when I had no idea what just happened and how it would affect my future.

But in this situation with Pacey . . .

Why is my body heated?

Because of Pacey’s touches, which showed me I was wanted.

Why is my heart racing?

Because of Pacey’s words, which offered encouragement and thankfulness.

And why am I consumed with confusion?