It's All Relative(55)
April leaned against the door in such a way that every curve of her trim body was highlighted, begging to be touched. “Call me soon. I’m very impatient.” Kai nodded and leaned in. He wasn’t sure why. Was he leaning in for a hug, another kiss? Before he could think too much about it, April cupped his cheek and obliged him by pressing those full lips so briefly to his, he wasn’t even sure if it had really happened. He gasped when she pulled away.
“It was very nice to meet you, Kai,” she whispered as she slowly closed the door.
Feeling dazed and a little dumbfounded, Kai stumbled back to his bike. It was only then that he realized he’d never gotten the chance to show Jessie what else he’d purchased for her. Walking to the back of his bike, he placed a hand on a second helmet that was strapped over the rear seat. He’d picked it up today with the thought that maybe he could take Jessie for a ride sometime, maybe even tonight. But the night had deviated in a way he hadn’t expected, and now, instead of doing something nice for his cousin, some small way of repaying her for her kindness, he was about to be put an irreversible gap between them by going out with her roommate.
Kai hung his head as he swung his leg over the bike. It was what Jessie wanted though, what she needed, to break whatever was happening between them. It hurt his heart so much to do it…and that was exactly why he had to go through with it. He and Jessie couldn’t let this…thing…enter their relationship. They were family. Nothing more.
Starting his bike, Kai looked over at the charming house Jessie lived in. Popping his helmet on, he noticed that one curtain in a window was being held open, and an outline of a body in the dark room was watching him. He knew it was Jessie, and with his expression hidden under the helmet, he let all of his grief show.
Shaking his head, he told her, “I’m sorry, Jessie. I never meant to hurt you tonight, and I don’t want to see April. I want to see you, and only you…and that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Revving the bike, his voice rough under the mask of his helmet, he quietly told her, “I’ll do what you asked, but I think it’s too late. I think I’ve already fallen for you.”
With those words tumbling through his head and bouncing around his body, bruising him as they beat against him, Kai turned away from Jessie’s house and sped into the night.
Jessie watched the red taillight of Kai’s bike until it faded into the distance. A tear fell to her cheek as she tried to swallow the rough lump in her throat. The image of him propped on his bike, staring at her watching him from her dark bedroom was forever burned into her brain. He’d held her gaze for ages, and she couldn’t really tell anything, but from the tension in his body, she was sure he’d been trying to communicate something to her. Maybe an apology for the way the evening had gone.
Jessie dropped the curtain, letting it swish back down into place. The white eyelets seemed to blink at her as a streetlamp outside flashed through them, and more tears fell down her cheeks. Cruelly, her mind replayed that dreadful dinner, both before and after: her inappropriate flirting, her decision to force him to moving forward, his reluctant agreement…the inevitable first steps toward a new romance.
Both crushed and relieved, Jessie walked over to her bed and sat down. It sure hadn’t taken him long to jump on the April-train. But she couldn’t be angry with him for that. He was doing exactly what she’d asked him to do. She wanted him to move on, and April was a good choice for him, for now. She would be fun, nothing too serious, no major commitment. April was a good time, simple and uncomplicated, so unlike what they were.
Taking off her shoes, Jessie rubbed her aching feet. She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened between April and Kai after she’d disappeared. She didn’t want to think about it, but she knew her flirtatious friend well, and she knew that April had most likely been all over him. It was just the way she was—comfortable, confident, and sexy as all get out. Kai would have been helpless against the full force of her charm. Especially since Jessie had made him feel obligated to go along with it. Great.
With a pained exhale, Jessie dropped her head into her hands. It hurt so much; it was unbearable. But she had to get past this. If they could both work past this…desire, then their relationship could be completely normal, natural. April didn’t know it, but she was about to help them get through this. But in the meantime, it was going to burn.
With horrific images of April’s hands and mouth all over Kai’s beautiful body, Jessie undressed for bed. She couldn’t stop wondering when their first date was happening. She couldn’t stop wondering if it would go well. Then she couldn’t stop wondering just how well it would go. She knew from experience that both Kai and April wouldn’t be opposed to going all the way, if they felt the right connection. Jessie wasn’t sure about Kai, but she was pretty sure April would feel the spark. How could she not? Kai was amazing.
Slipping her pajamas on, Jessie felt like the jagged pieces of her heart were tearing her insides apart. But the scars left behind would heal. And once Kai and April truly started dating, he would be around a lot more, which was good. But their PDA would step up too, which was not good. Jessie wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing them holding hands and kissing all the time. As she stepped from her room to the bathroom, she wondered if maybe she should find someone to date, too. Maybe this would be easier, if she wasn’t alone, if she had someone to hold hands with and kiss. Maybe the four of them could even double date. God…that was an awful thought.